soma

Backstory:
So I've known this girl for a while, and out of the blue, she invited me to an event last weekend which I was unable to attend. She reached out again and asked me out to grab some coffee the following week, and we ended up spending about an hour together over a some coffee. We hugged afterward, and I went on with the rest of my day.

I didn't really think of it as a date, more of a friendly hang out, but, I really wasn't sure. Then this past weekend, we bumped into each other again and she was with her friends. Her friends were all looking at me and smiling, and it felt like they were thinking: "Oh, so this is the guy she's been talking about". They even made me take a picture with her, which was weird, but really made me suspect that she was indeed talking about me to her friends. I told her that my friends and I would be going to a club that night, and told her she should come with her friends too.

That night, she showed up, and we were both a little drunk. There was some ... intimate dancing, kissing, and hand holding. It was almost as if we were together, as a couple.

My Question:
So now I'm pretty sure she's interested in me and I want to take things further with her. We both go to the same school and I'm probably going to try to arrange study sessions with her when we're both on campus, but beyond that, I'm not really sure how to play things specifically. So that night at the club was last night. I don't know when I should call her again, or try to hang out with her. I don't want to be too clingy right away, but I don't want to be so distant that she thinks that I'm not interested.

Any specific suggestions on where to take things from here? Like when to call her again, when to try to hang out with her again? I'm probably over thinking all of this, but it'd be nice to hear from you all.

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Having Girl Problems?

Craven Morehead

I think you need to do something. Sooner the better. Call her up to talk. Ask if she'd like to see a movie. Or go to a club or go for coffee. Whatever, just do it.

good luck

LoganSnake

Hang out more often. It will evolve from there.

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Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

Punk.of.Ages

Dude, you're already right on track here. Don't over-analyze it. Just let it happen.

Call her whenever. Just don't go leaving her creepy "Where are you? I've called like five times in the last ten minutes and you're still not answering!" messages and you should be cool.

Don't sweat it, man. This stuff comes naturally if you let it.

__________________
"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

Shauk

sounds like you're already in, but lack the self confidence to realize DUDE, SHE WANTS TO HANG OUT WITH YOU!
I say next time you see her, start it off with a full on hug and a lil cheek kiss and see how that feels, just establish physical proximity comfort right off the bat and it lets you guys get to the good stuff, the mental/verbal interaction ;p

genuinegirly

Sounds like she has a crush! And her friends probably think you're cute (hence the photo). So, ask her to study with you - fine. That shows her that you think she's smart and a worthy study buddy - assuming you study. Even better to ask her out for dinner or drinks or coffee - and let her do a lot of talking. Show you're interested in getting to know her. Ask her out to a nice-ish place for dinner (or even better, cook a nice meal for her) and give her a bouquet of flowers.

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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

Daniel_

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╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
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Spartanx9

LMAO Daniel_, that last picture cracked me up.

Plan9

Soma, brother, you need to take some deep breaths and give her a call to set up your next meeting.

The evidence above suggests that she's into you and you two just need more face time.

...

That kernmantle rope is too stiff for good bondage knots, Daniel. 550 cord would work better.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Punk.of.Ages

Creep...

__________________
"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

Skitto

The chick digs you man.

I'd say you've got two options: either play "busy" and be hard to get for a while then open up slowly to give pace to the relationship, or just ask her out again and be yourself, see where it goes from there. Be aware though of complicating factors such as her expectations from you, and of course baggage.

---------- Post added at 08:17 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:16 PM ----------

+1 to that.

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Yeah, well, you're just that awesome, I guess. It's not like I guessed so anyways.

Plan9

Pfft! You of all people.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Punk.of.Ages

I envy your knowledge of the creepster ways...

__________________
"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

soma

Lol at Daniel. Alright guys, sounds like good advice all around. Tomorrow I'll try to see her again. Here's the breakdown so far:

Saturday: Drunken fun times
Sunday: Texting back and forth
Monday: Nothing
Tuesday: Try to meet her on campus for some studying (face time)

Seems like enough to convey interest but not too much, or stalkerish...

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Having Girl Problems?

The_Jazz

Apparently I'm the only one that sees the irony of this thread being created by a guy with a link to a "Having Girl Problems?" thread.

And Daniel_, you forgot on key component:

nes1van-440x217.jpg

In all seriousness, Soma, all the good advice has been given. Take it to heart.

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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

Raghnar -ITA-

what is the problem about boing in the same campus? O_o
Anyway in your flow chart about girl problems there is a glitch: if you're honestly upset the flow is gonna explode, and this is in fact what happens

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English N00b - Please help if you have time and correct my errors

snowy

I'm glad to see some guys overthink these things as much as some women do!

Just go with the flow. It sounds like what you are doing so far is a good way to go. Don't worry so much. If it works out, it works out. If it doesn't, it doesn't.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Poppinjay

Next time you see her. Kiss her with tongue. Really, lick her face.

__________________
I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

Daniel_

Sniff her ass too - girls love that. Or maybe it's dogs, I get them confused sometimes.

__________________

╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

Xerxys

This has been the case lately with all of soma's threads. Either he is entirely devout to his formula or I demand he change it this instant!

soma

Lol, sorry guys. That flow chart is mostly just for laughs, not so much real guidance. And whenever I look at it, I'm reminded at just how bitter I was over that breakup. Sad...

Anyway me and this chick had our study session today and I've got to say, this was a genius idea. It was like, making conversation and enjoying each other's company was like an excuse for us to put off studying/doing hw. Things went pretty well. Afterward, she texted me thanking me for hanging out with her and all of that, so win!

So now, I'm going to call her probably on Thursday night to arrange a hang out on Saturday. Just trying to space things out just right... And yeah, I think the best advice here is to keep it natural and to go with the flow. From the beginning, my main objective was to make her my GF. While that's still my main objective, my main focus is to go with the flow and let things develop naturally. I'll keep posting updates as they come.

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Having Girl Problems?

Poppinjay

Study sessions are good because you can literally sex her like she was poindexter.

__________________
I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

passthru

It's true. I recently was asking my friend for relationship advice and she told me I was overthinking my course of actions and using emotional covers instead of plain honesty. She said girls are known for doing it but guys do it all the time.. my jaw dropped, for I had never realized this obvious fact.

Halcy

As a woman, I can say THIS IS A GREAT ANSWER. If you do it right, you should never have to say "SO, you wanna be my girlfriend...?" One day, you'll find she already is.
You're doing everything right so far...just keep it up. Call her when you have 5 minutes and just ask her what's up; you don't have to have anything fascinating to say, and can let her carry the convo (women have this in the bag).
A guy-friend once jokingly told me that a man is never sure he has a girl, regardless of hints or signs, until she says so point blank; in this case though, I think it's pretty safe to say you have her. Start finding opportunities for just the two of you to do things together; friends are a great buffer in the early stages, but can start to seem like they're running interference for you if she wants to be a lone and they're always around. Throw out a "you &me" opportunity, and if she takes you up on it, you're golden.

Congrats! You caught one!

ironpham

I'd also say, one of the next times you 2 hang out, either take her to dinner, make her dinner, or, my personal favorite, make sushi together. The sushi thing is a great bonding experience and it actually is pretty fun (though exhausting if you do it wrong).

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Zeraph

she's totally into you, that's awesome. I love it when the girl pursues. Go for it! and quickly, these moments can pass.