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Old 09-02-2009, 10:56 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Need Advice on LIFE

So, back in february i ran accros my very first girlfriend. She lived in Ecuador and I was there on a visit. It seemed like all the pieces had fallen into place or this to work; she was there visiting family (she had lived in Argentina for the past five year), I was there looking at a property, and we both had just finished long term relationships. So we hit it off!! after a month or so that seemed more that a honey moon than a courtship we went to Argentina to get her stuff, then she went to Ecuador for three weeks and I went to the USA to pack away the last fifteen years of my adult life into two fifty pound bags and a carry on. So, after all this we moved together to Ecuador and I got a Job at her Family's plant. So we started our new lifes together...so fast & so sweet...until about three week ago, when I found out she was pregnant, both being professionals and in our thirties, it seemed like the right thing, but then came the ECO. She was pregnant a week before I got here and apprently from a friend who is a band member in a band that she refues to stop playing with. So here is where I stand, I gave my life away for a woman who cheated on me, says she loves me, is pregnant and maybe by another man whom she will not stop seeing since she knows him fo 12 years and they play on a band together, and I'm stuck in a contract and a job WIT HER MOM.

PS: Forgot to mention that I want to kill this man and she won't let me.
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Old 09-02-2009, 11:25 AM   #2 (permalink)
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First off, don't kill the dude. It is cruel to deprive the unborn child two natural parents.

Secondly how does she feel about this dude? If she is still seeing him more than casually I dare say there is no future for the both of you.
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Old 09-02-2009, 11:26 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I am sorry to read that this happened to you but fear not for all is not lost. You say you through your life away but you’re still alive. This is good. I have learned to never do something for someone else as you may end up unhappy and resenting that person.

Did you move there for her or where there already plans? You mention that you were there looking at property. Even if you moved just to be with her, so what? Maybe you made a mistake but you will get through this and be wiser for it.

ECO’s are not perfect and a week is certainly within their range of error. I know the conception date of both my kids but the sonographer never got it right.

Did she admit cheating on you? If so then the rub for me is the refuses to stop seeing him. That tells me she has feelings for him that are greater than hers for you.

If she really did cheat on you then I see no reason why her Mom would come into this. Surely she loves her daughter but would see that she did you wrong. You just have to be good about not saying anything bad about her daughter and remaining professional with the mom

That’s just my take and I wish you the best.
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Old 09-02-2009, 12:45 PM   #4 (permalink)
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She did admit cheating on me. She says that she made a mistake and she loves me and has decided not to tell this dude. I was looking at an investment property, there where no plans of me moving here. To her her band is of most importance and that is the reason she sees him, not socially, what happened between them happend while they where playing a gig in another town and that is all the details I{ve been given. the reason it came up was because she wanted an abortion and it lead to a heated argument about my beliefs and she ended up telling me in the middle of the argument that it might not even be mine. And she expects me to pay for it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OF COURSE I WONT
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Old 09-02-2009, 01:30 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Check into child support laws in Ecuador. You could end up being legally responsible for this child even if it's not yours. And I'd leave her; she cheated and refuses to cut off contact with the man she cheated with. Settle the child issue separately.
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