soma

I'm putting together a date and want to bounce my idea off of you guys to see what you all think.

The main premise of the date is a picnic and walk around the lake. Nothing too fancy. We'll meet at the grocery store and pick out food and drink items, I think grocery stores are great because they're loaded with distractions and things to talk about, so awkwardness isn't a huge deal.

Next, off to a gas station to pick up some slurpees. Next, drive to the lake.
Once at the lake, add alcohol to slurpees after talking to her about it, and enjoy a nice buzzed walk around the lake with a nice little picnic somewhere in between.

The girl I'm planning to do this is under 21, so we can't go to a bar, but I really think adding some booze will help loosen us up and lighten the mood. She's young and does enjoy partying so I think she'd be open to this sort of thing, but I'm worried it's a little strange too...

Thoughts?

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Anormalguy

Try it without the booze and see how it goes.

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In a society where the individual is not free to pursue the truth...there is neither progress, stability nor security.--Edward R. Murrow

Xerxys

Anormalguy has a point unless of course this is just a hook up then you want to be clear ... you did mention she was under 21 also so distractions come in all sizes, this includes Law enforcement and Crompsin isn't afraid to drive to Chicago!!

Also, about the picnic, do you have ready made food or do you want to make all your food when you get to the spot? Either way I think you are onto something ...

LoganSnake

What's wrong with alcohol? Like none of you drank before you turned 21. If it helps him loosen up and feel better, why the fuck not?

You're in Chicago? What part of the lake are you going to?

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Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

Xerxys

The problem with alcohol is that it loosens you up to more alcohol. They're gonna be in public so we don't want a contribution to a minor's delinquency charge part of the plan. Secondly, we also don't want a dependency to alcohol to "loosen up" all the time when meeting up. Let's ease into things shall we?

EDIT: I don't know what the laws are about drinking in public, probably non-existent in a big city but still ...

CinnamonGirl

I think it sounds like a great date. With or without alcohol.

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"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

LoganSnake

It's not like everybody's going to check their slurpees for alcohol content. If that helps him loosen up and talk, by all means.

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Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

Plan9

I wouldn't include booze in a first date. It clouds judgment. Makes people see things that aren't there... ya know, like FelixP getting his hair cut.

You want to keep the first date straight to see if you've got enough to make Round 2's drunken make-outs worthwhile.

...

I love "nice guy" pretension.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Xerxys

Logan, I really don't know what you mean by loosen up and talk ... if this is a hook up with intent to hit and run then yeah dude, go with alcohol, but if you are chasing a prospective keeper then you need to be yourself ...

She needs to know you're painfully shy when you're being yourself ... which is helped by alcohol AFTER SHE SEE'S YOU AS YOURSELF!

FelixP

Threadjack: Hey, Barber Bitch was trying to manipulate me, I just know it in my gut. And I wasn't drunk, either.
Anyway, this sounds like a nice date. Just don't get anything too heavy. Stick to wine or a six pack of beer and you'll be cool. Have fun!

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Free will lies not in the ability to craft your own fate, but in not knowing what your fate is. --Me

"I have just returned from visting the Marines at the front, and there is not a finer fighting organization in the world." --Douglas MacArthur

soma

Ok, here's some more information.
We went on a first date together and while it wasn't horrible, it wasn't filled with flirtation and playfulness. In other words, it was very ... platonic. I actually thought she wouldn't be interested in seeing me again, but she is, but I'm worried she's only attracted to my looks, which won't last long if I continue acting so shy around her.

The reason why I want to do alcoholic slurpees is because it, in my mind, is very discreet. I know there is a chance of getting caught, but I have every reason to not want her to get caught. I'd get in a lot of trouble too. And also, I didn't mean to give the impression that we'd get plastered, just enough to loosen up.

I know the idea of using alcohol on a date is a bit of a cop out, but ... well that's why I'm asking.

Also, I should have wrote: "A lake" instead of "The lake". I wish I lived in Chicago or some other big city.

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Having Girl Problems?

little_tippler

Sounds like a pleasant date. Just don't add too much alcohol...you should be fine.

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

Manic_Skafe

Who'd have thought the TFP harbored so many tight-asses? It's not like he's taking her to a fucking kegger.

Date sounds great. Have fun.

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"Porn is a zoo of exotic animals that becomes boring upon ownership." -Nersesian

Anormalguy

My comments were based on the impression that this was their first date; for a second date a small amount of alcohol should be okay.

I do caution against using alcohol to overcome shyness. Also, how old is the girl?

Anormalguy,
Certified TFP Tight-Ass, and AIR

__________________
In a society where the individual is not free to pursue the truth...there is neither progress, stability nor security.--Edward R. Murrow

MSD

Keep it to one or two shots. Buy a couple of those single bottles for each of you and let her add however much she wants.

Plan9

Sorry, perhaps we're more conservative than you, Genghis Cock... Destroyer of Wombs.

...

I dislike booze on the first date because I've seen so many people use it as an excuse for something later.

Be straight-up the first date... and then if you wanna get shitfaced and play face-suck all night? By all means.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Jinn

I'm as far away from "tight assed" as they come (in the metaphorical sense, that's a terrible double entendre in the literal sense) and I agree with Crompsin. Didn't matter to me whether the girl was < or > 21, it's just a generally good idea to keep first dates alcohol free. For everybody involved.

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Plan9

Dunno, aren't girls supposed to be smart and not drink anything that may compromise their safety during a first date?

I mean... you (girl) just met a dude and he wants to share drinks... and then maybe a night cap of some date rape drugs.

I wouldn't bring it up if I didn't have friends that got rooph'd and woke up with their panties in a non-optimal location.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

MSD

That's a big part of why I suggested single serving bottles. She can have however much she wants and break the factor seal herself.

Manic_Skafe

Firstly, someone has to pick up your slack. As a war vet one would assume you'd be accustomed to being knee deep.

Secondly, who said anything about getting shitfaced? You guys are way too After School Special for my tastes. Surely he could get way to drunk and crash into a bus full of nuns or retarded children but I doubt very seriously the likelihood of such an event.

Are you guys serious? I can't be the only one who's brought a date to a bar or ordered a few drinks with dinner during the first date as a conversation starter or to lighten the mood. I've done the walk of shame plenty of times and alcohol wasn't always a factor.

__________________
"Porn is a zoo of exotic animals that becomes boring upon ownership." -Nersesian

Plan9

What war?

Dude, I carry a gun when I go to the fucking grocery store... what does that tell you about my life outlook?

...

Pretty sure I've never had alcohol on a first encounter with a girl that I was in a relationship with for more than however long it took me to get my pants back up and out the door. If I'm looking at going the distance with somebody, I wanna be all Righteous After School Special: Proper Dating Steps.

If I wanna get laid? I get on a dating sight, meet a girl, tell her where we should head out for drinks... and you know the rest.

That's different.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Strange Famous

If you're driving then a lot of people wouldnt be cool with you drinking and then driving them back.

Otherwise it sounds pretty cool.

---------- Post added at 08:17 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:16 PM ----------

The problem is he is driving.

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"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

IdeoFunk

Hmmm, well in my experience some of the best first dates I've been on have taken place at a nice pub or on a nice patio. I'd say go for it, as long as a beer or two doesn't totally derail your game (I wouldn't go for anymore than that). And I really wouldn't worry about the whole drinking in public thing, I've taken slushies and vodka around so many places in urban areas and never had a problem I highly doubt you and your gal will be harassed by authorities while sauntering around a lake.

Most important is just be relaxed and play it cool.. remember that girls love a guy who they have fun with, and given your itinerary I think it sounds like it should be a fun day indeed.

Let us know how you fare.

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...out here in the perimeter there are no stars...

Manic_Skafe

That of us all, you would benefit the most from some nsa action.

Really? Seriously I'm not taking the piss but alcohol on the first date equates to tramping? Do you also have a rule against hand holding or dancing too close before the third date?

I can't be the only one who finds this attitude strange.

__________________
"Porn is a zoo of exotic animals that becomes boring upon ownership." -Nersesian

LoganSnake

Well, seeing as how I pointed it out in the first post I made here, I'm with you.

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Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

The_Jazz

For the record, my wife and I split a bottle of wine on our first date (a '98 Rutherford Hill Reserve Cab, for the record), and you can see from my signature how that worked out.

Then again, I'm just a middle-aged insurance salesman according to some, so what the fuck do I know?

Other than that, have fun with the undstanding that you could have to go to court for giving her liquor. Been there, done that, paid the fine. Not fun, although I'll admit that the apologetic sloppy blowjob afterwards was appreciated. Too bad the underaged (for alcohol) blowjob supplier was a fucking psychopath.

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"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
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snowy

I met my now-fiance in a bar.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Plan9

Everybody is going, "Why not the booze?"

I'm going, "Why the booze?"

Besides... I regularly get crunk with girls I'm comfortable with when I don't have to drive.

...

Follow my logic: You should stay 100% sober in case you need to escape via motor vehicle.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Strange Famous

Does really nobody think that drink driving (on your first date with a girl) is a problem??

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

LoganSnake

Drunk driving is a problem. Getting some alcohol in your system, walking around the lake for a few hours and then driving is not a problem.

__________________
Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

little_tippler

I think it's silly to have a rule about it. If you are a level-headed person, I don't see why not have a drink if it feels natural. I certainly wouldn't look down on my date for having a drink, and I'd hope not to be labelled by my date if I had one. I agree that drunk driving is not ok.

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

Xerxys

soma I am so sorry for derailing your thread.

Jimellow

I would just do what's natural to you. Over planning is likely going to result in you altering things just to please your partner, and while that's admirable, I tend to think it's causing you to be someone you aren't in the hopes of painting a picture you hope the other likes.

If you're looking to plan and create a sort of game plan, I'd recommend seeking some broad recommendations from your partner and then fine tuning them with things you genuinely want to do. Then the result will be a true indication of whether the two of you are likely to get on well and enjoy similar things, for better or worse.

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Desperation is no excuse for lowering one's standards.

Punk.of.Ages

Getting shitfaced by a lake sounds like a raging time to me...
_____

Seriously, a little booze isn't going to hurt anybody or cloud judgment far enough as to cause someone to get with a 2 but think shes a 10. He's talking about one mixed Slurpee. Nobody's getting shitfaced off of that, and, after walking around the lake a bit, nobody's going to have a problem driving either.
_____

Sounds like it will be a very original and fun date, soma. Enjoy yourself.

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"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

CinnamonGirl

Again, I feel the need to point out that this sounds like an awesome date. Alcohol debate aside, a picnic and walk by the lake is much more interesting and fun than the standard dinner-and-a-movie.

__________________
"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

Anormalguy

After School Special...M_S, that is so damned funny . When I was a kid I used to watch those occasionally (yes, I'm a geezer).


Anormalguy,
Certified TFP Tight-Ass, After School Special Brainwashee, & AIR

__________________
In a society where the individual is not free to pursue the truth...there is neither progress, stability nor security.--Edward R. Murrow

PulpMind

Skipped over all the drama speak, but here's my take after reading the first post and a few of the follow ups.

She's under 21. You're probably not much older (since you're mixing booze into a slurpee lol
There's a 95% chance you're not going to marry this girl. You're two young kids that want to have a totally awesome time.
IMHO, your plan sounds great.
When you get to the park, ask her if she'd like to spike it. Maybe offer to only spike one of the drinks. It's all about what SHE wants.
Go have fun.
And remember to use a condom.

soma

Update time!

This girl and I hung out today. We were getting along well early on, but I offered the alcoholic slurpee suggestion and she seemed very very hesitant. We ended up not doing it, but things still went ok with just a little picnic and walk on a beautiful day. When I think about when I was under 21, I'd probably feel as much hesitation as her.

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Halanna

Hmm. I don't know about alcohol with an underage person out in public on a first date. Seems to have many pitfalls.

I saw your update with how things went well and I'm glad. I have to say, if a man took me to a grocery store and a gas station on a first date, I'd be a little, hmmm.

Dinner and movie is a rather boring first date. You can't get to know each other during a movie and sitting so close in the dark with a stranger is awkward. Then over dinner, all the focus is on each other, nothing auxiliary to catch the interest.

You know what I always think is a good first date? The Zoo. There is plenty to see, plenty of things to spark conversation and you'd be surprised how animals will bring out tidbits of stories from childhood, adulthood and beyond in people.

soma

I'm very much in favor of super casual initial dates, but I'm starting to have second thoughts.
I went to grab a drink with my brother and told him I took a girl to a grocery store for a second date. He was a bit floored.
I think if I see this girl again, I'll take her out to a proper dinner.

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