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Spartanx9 01-07-2009 06:02 PM

Is this normal?
 
It has come to my attention that I can be the one that you need to relay bad news to (like, someone is dying, losing a job, etc), and it not really affecting me (at most, I get a bit disappointed). I guess it may be from what i was used to when i was younger (always getting bad news about stuff never working, or getting rejected all the time), but is it really a serious problem that I should go get checked it checked out by a shrink?

ngdawg 01-07-2009 06:27 PM

Nope. You're normal. Next question.....:)

Cynthetiq 01-07-2009 06:30 PM

:) totally normal for some, for others not so much.

really it's a matter of what is normal for you.

raeanna74 01-07-2009 06:34 PM

If you actually seem like you LISTEN to people, you'll hear all the sob stories you want and more.

bazkitcase5 01-07-2009 08:30 PM

I have wondered about the same thing

for instance, when my grandmother died - I really loved her, enjoyed spending time with her, etc., but I did not cry when she died, nor did I feel the urge to do so

obviously I was sad, but I'm still not sure why my emotions do not seem to reflect that - I feel like I've led a normal life, nothing tragic or anything, but its like things of that nature just do not bother me as they do most people...

ASU2003 01-07-2009 09:07 PM

So, you are saying you are emotionally dead inside?

Everyone is different and they have their own ways of grieving. But, you should let it out instead of bottling it up.

savmesom11 01-07-2009 09:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spartanx9 (Post 2580839)
It has come to my attention that I can be the one that you need to relay bad news to

Are you saying that people are comfortable giving you bad new because you handle it well? If this is the case why would that concern you? If people are depending on you in their time of need than that is a compliment. As stated before everyone deals with emotions differently than the person next to them, and you are entitled to process those emotions in your own way. There is nothing wrong with that.

However, if you don't respond to any emotion and are not able to feel empathy toward others than maybe you are experiencing your own personal crisis. Talking to a professional may help you move beyond your disappointing youth so you are able to experience joys and disappointments and process them in a healthy manner.

MSD 01-08-2009 06:25 AM

I used to be like that, but I grew out of it. I kind of wish I was still able to take any sort of bad news and be able to stay calm and collected.

little_tippler 01-08-2009 06:37 AM

I've never really thought about this. I think my emotional reactions are normal, who knows. When I hear bad news, I will be upset if it is close or relevant enough to me. I will be a lot more likely to feel upset if I see someone I am fond of looking upset or crying. Then my tendency is to also cry with them. I can't help that. Sometimes it's annoying.

I think it sounds normal to me, if it hasn't happened to someone that close to you. An external event is exactly that, and either you can connect with it through your "imagination" and "empathy" or you can't. I wouldn't worry about it.

Spartanx9 01-08-2009 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raeanna74 (Post 2580870)
If you actually seem like you LISTEN to people, you'll hear all the sob stories you want and more.

I do. A lot of people always come to me cause I do listen to people.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MSD (Post 2581048)
I used to be like that, but I grew out of it. I kind of wish I was still able to take any sort of bad news and be able to stay calm and collected.

Maybe this is it. I can just take news really well and keep cool.

The reason that I kinda share this with you guys, is well, my gf and i broke up yesterday. Normally I wouldn't be controlling myself so well, but I dunno, just had a small period of being kinda sad, but just bouncing back to who i usually am.

I just find it really weird.

SabrinaFair 01-08-2009 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spartanx9 (Post 2581138)

The reason that I kinda share this with you guys, is well, my gf and i broke up yesterday. Normally I wouldn't be controlling myself so well, but I dunno, just had a small period of being kinda sad, but just bouncing back to who i usually am.

I just find it really weird.

If this makes one weird, then I suppose I am too. When my bf and I broke up in March, I cried for a few moments right after he left, then poured myself a drink and felt fine. It didn't mean that I wasn't going to miss him or that I didn't love him....I just didn't feel that devastated. I still feel sad about it on occasion, but I've never had that devastation period that many people go through after a breakup. Everyone's different; I wouldn't worry too much about it.

*Nikki* 01-08-2009 08:01 PM

I am like this also.

Sometimes I feel dead inside.

Hyacinthe 01-09-2009 11:59 PM

I have a friend who sounds a great deal like you, he handles news of any kind extremely well but especially bad news. It's not that he doesn't feel angry or upset by the news but he is able to put his own emotions to the side and deal with the practicalities of the situation first THEN let himself feel bad.

If you're still feeling the emotions that you would associate with the news involved (the death of the grandmother would make you feel sad for example) then I wouldn't worry too much. Unless you're not feeling anything at all you should be fine. To me it just sounds like you've just accepted from a young age that crying, yelling, screaming won't change any of the realities going on in life, the world will keep turning, the sun will keep rising and that you need to go on with your life.


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