do all girls lie and cheat?
 

i havent posted in a while, but i seem to be posting here for the same reason as before. i have been with this girl for almost two years now. we seem to hit it off very well. out of nowhere i have found out, through a very trusted source, that she has cheated on me recently with her ex. i have confronted her and she strongly denies it. the thing i dont get is that i spoil her, we go out all of the time, go on little vacations, and what not. i do everything i can to make her happy, there is definitely no lack of sex on my part, which i also do everything i can to maker her happy on that end. i just dont understand what would make her want to go out and have sex, or even be with someone else. Ladies i hope you might be able to shed some light on this. this has happened to me before several years back. are all women like this? do i just have bad luck? is it something i am doin? any help or words of encouragement are greatly appreciated.

Short answer - definitely not all.

Those who cheat aren't looking for sex. They're looking for what's lacking in the marriage. Often, they look for communication or respect. Sometimes, a jealous partner can push their spouse away.

Dig deep. Only you know why.

Yes, AND they smell funny, too!

...

Just kidding. Infidelity is a human issue, not a female-only issue.

I know all about such things and very-truly-I-tell-you: they suck.

You're probably thinking: "Why me? What did I do?"

Most likely: something you didn't do that they needed.

Not necessarily your fault. People suck at communication and give up on those they're the most intimate with...

The reasons why are often simple: novelty from boredom, rebellion from unhappiness, risk of being caught.

So much thrill for what amounts to the same 31 Flavors of intimacy in the end.

...

Just tell yourself you can do better.

If they are attractive it isn't hard for them to cheat. It's not like an old boyfriend or friend would turn them down. Then again, if a hot girl that was your friend from your past through herself at you, you might have a hard time passing it up.

But I would check your source and find out how true it is. Maybe they want you to break up with her so she will be single again...

No, we don't all cheat. Quite far from it. It might help if you don't start off your OP with such a blatant generalization.

Maybe you're doing too much to make her happy, and she's the type who doesn't like that.

Or something along those lines. How about communication? Not confrontation, but actually sitting down and talking with her about exactly what is going on underneath her actions. People--BOTH men and women, thanks--cheat for all kinds of reasons. Some of them are valid, some are not. But you're never going to find out why if it's all about confronting her instead of digging down deep into the relationship with her (whether or not you stay together is a separate issue).

There is never a valid reason for cheating. If you are unhappy with someone, either work it out or break it off.

I'm with Dr. House on this one. "Everybody lies".... To some extent.

Cheat, as in, on a spouse? I don't think all, or even most, by any means. I could be wrong, but I prefer a more positive, and hopeful, expectation of others.

There are some people that you can't do enough for. Her problem is not you, really, she's probably looking for someone to give her the impossible, happiness. She, like most of us, should be focused inward, to figure out what we really need. It's just easier to look for other people to make us whole or happy. It never works, but the effort is easier than self improvement.....

im with ASU on this one..

maybe your source is telling you fibs.

some people will always deal with the grass being greener on the other side. and sometimes, it wont be your fault.

I hope you see these people before they hurt you.

Hey now! C'mon... if it wasn't for generalizations... I'd be out of a job here.
-----Added 9/9/2008 at 07 : 09 : 41-----
(round two of Jorge-query) What's a valid reason to cheat? Perhaps being too spineless to end a relationship in the disposable-couples culture that makes up Western relationships?

I don't get cheating. Isn't it easier to be a horny self-serving dirtbag by breaking up with somebody before you decide to play hide-the-sausage with all five of your next door neighbors?

See also: Prenuptial agreement.
See also: Sterile email breakup.

do all guys lie and cheat?

I hate generalizations of this sort when all you have is one bad experience.

I'd say you are probably just unlucky. I could be something you're doing...or not doing.

In my experience, the girls I know don't normally lie and cheat.

Sounds like what you're investing in this particular girl, is more than she deserves.

Then again, with so few details about how you guys get along on a daily basis, I can't really say. She could just be playing you, or she could actually be unhappy with the relationship. Pick one.

Yep.

Just as all guys don't cheat, girls don't either.

Okay, simmer down Tiger! What I mean by "valid" is not that it is morally justifiable/right, but that there are serious problems with the relationship (on both sides) that lead a person to believe that cheating is the something okay to do. Say the cheater is being emotionally and physically neglected, and doesn't have the self-awareness/wherewithal/TFP advice to seek out counseling and sort out their issues before screwing up their marriage, etc. I see this as being a more "valid" reason than, say... being bored, jealous, or wanting to fuck up the marriage, or for the reason you give above. Doesn't mean it's right--I don't think any cheating is "right," for any reason--but it's something that is a little more understandable than someone who is just doing it to be vindictive, get their kicks, etc. My two cents, as usual.

in response to the op: yes they do. all guys do as well. it´s all relative. life´s a funny thing.

I'm with Mr. Johnson.

Blazing Saddles reference.

Crompsin also had a good post along these lines on the condom v. bareback thread. The casualness that people treat relationships in these United States causes many of the problems within. On the one hand, Abaya is perfectly right about cases of cheating. Relationships can be broken, and you can't really expect people to remain committed to a broken future.

On the other hand, who hasn't known a person who moves from um friend to um friend?

It's all well and good to say, "break it off", but with two people, there's a 50% chance one will be more emotionally invested in the relationship. That does wicked things to your psyche.

Not all of us cheat. Just like not all men hit.

Go back to the part where she strongly denies cheating, and you don't understand why she would want to in the first place. Where did your 'trusted source' get this information? Was this person an eye witness? Did they also have a 'trusted source' who had a 'trusted source' who had a...Is this through a tangled grapevine, so to speak? Only you can decide which person you believe.

go read "the game" by Neil Strauss. Depending on the source, cheating is either in human nature, or it isn't, but people moving towards a specific course of action usually head there to attain something they don't already have, or are missing. Also - how can you be sure that your source is 100% as well? Unless they've got proof it's still all speculation.

Yes, everyone lies to everyone. That's a reality of life. They may be small, insignificant lies, but it happens. The cheating is another topic and a much bigger lie, and it can't be associated with men or women exclusively.

Like I just posted on another thread, this is the ultimate lie and indication that she doesn't care for you the way you want to be cared for. Be thankful you've been shown her true feelings and thoughts for you so you can move on with a clear mind. It hurts like hell, but that passes and you'll be much happier alone than with someone who has no respect or love for you.