Should a relationship be hard work? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

kate jack · 08-10-2008, 09:30 AM

I think any relationship takes work, at times. I wouldn't seek or stay with a partner where it always seemed like hard work to make the relationship work.

However, good relationships don't stay that way by going on "autopilot." Sometimes they take a lot of work, especially as the years go by and the first glow wears off. Couples often have to try harder to stay connected at that point.

Additionally, couples may face challenges of illness, unemployment, infertility, depression, etc which add complexity and work to the mix. No relationship will be unchallenged in some manner, if the couple is together for any amount of time. To me, working through those issues is worth it.

grumpyolddude · 08-10-2008, 02:26 PM

"...working through those issues is worth it."

That's the measure of a healthy relationship. Two people recognizing issues and working through them together. Sometimes, one partner seems to work harder than the other, but things tend to even out, over time.

Eventually, if you're lucky, you get to the point where most "issues" are just dealt with in the flow of everyday life, without much extra effort. Love, trust, and the ability to compromise are keys to a long, happy relationship.

(gawd, I've been sounding like a freakin' Pollyanna lately!)

thespian86 · 08-10-2008, 04:07 PM

Hmmm... I think the moment you think "This isn't worth the good times" is the moment it's done.

Anything in life means work.

ASU2003 · 08-10-2008, 06:48 PM

What is causing the work? Is it setting up dates, activities, and things to talk about?

Is it trying to keep together with some major incompatibility?

Or i it working on things after a few years to keep things interesting?

I would/will be easy to date. I'm not very demanding and just need some touching to be happy.

08-10-2008, 09:30 AM	#1 (permalink)
kate jack Tilted	Should a relationship be hard work? I think any relationship takes work, at times. I wouldn't seek or stay with a partner where it always seemed like hard work to make the relationship work. However, good relationships don't stay that way by going on "autopilot." Sometimes they take a lot of work, especially as the years go by and the first glow wears off. Couples often have to try harder to stay connected at that point. Additionally, couples may face challenges of illness, unemployment, infertility, depression, etc which add complexity and work to the mix. No relationship will be unchallenged in some manner, if the couple is together for any amount of time. To me, working through those issues is worth it.

08-10-2008, 02:26 PM	#2 (permalink)
grumpyolddude Deliberately unfocused Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby	"...working through those issues is worth it." That's the measure of a healthy relationship. Two people recognizing issues and working through them together. Sometimes, one partner seems to work harder than the other, but things tend to even out, over time. Eventually, if you're lucky, you get to the point where most "issues" are just dealt with in the flow of everyday life, without much extra effort. Love, trust, and the ability to compromise are keys to a long, happy relationship. (gawd, I've been sounding like a freakin' Pollyanna lately!) __________________ "Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

08-10-2008, 04:07 PM	#3 (permalink)
thespian86 change is hard. Location: the green room.	Hmmm... I think the moment you think "This isn't worth the good times" is the moment it's done. Anything in life means work. __________________ EX: Whats new? ME: I officially love coffee more then you now. EX: uh... ME: So, not much.

08-10-2008, 06:48 PM	#4 (permalink)
ASU2003 immoral minority Location: Back in Ohio	What is causing the work? Is it setting up dates, activities, and things to talk about? Is it trying to keep together with some major incompatibility? Or i it working on things after a few years to keep things interesting? I would/will be easy to date. I'm not very demanding and just need some touching to be happy. Last edited by ASU2003; 08-10-2008 at 06:52 PM..