My responsibility? Roommate problem - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

theusername · 06-07-2008, 11:29 AM

Ok so I'll try to give the short run down.

Me and my roommate get along fine, some issues but as is normal. He's my roommate though, not my friend, we have never had that deep connection of understanding that I share with my good friends. In all honesty, I will have no problem not having any relationship with him in the future but this isn't about me, it's about my concern for him.

Anyways, right now he is sick with all kinds of symptoms and he claims he has been sick for a year and a half, I paid for his doctor visit cause he wasn't going to go and doesn't have health insurance. (IF YOUR SICK FOR OVER A WEEK AND DON'T GO TO A DOCTOR YOUR A MORON! lol, its unbelievable to me)

Anyway, the doctor couldn't find anything wrong with him and suggested he may be depressed, which he vehemently denies and I'm certain that he is. Meanwhile, I've known something was off with him for quite awhile but I just started to figure that he was a lazy bum who had put himself in this position, partially true.

But here, he's 26-27 years old, still pursuing his undergraduate degree in one of the toughest fields in a tough school but it is doubtful he will have the gpa to graduate. I am graduating and moving away in a few weeks but I am concerned that next year him living alone, not being able to hack it at school, economic difficulties..etc and basically people getting tired of dealing with his crap will lead to disastrous results. While I don't think he's the type that would ever harm himself, I see some really bad signs developing in his life.

I have already made suggestions to him to get involved with his church, get on a regular sleep schedule, multivitamins, come up with a back plan in case school doesnt work out plan yada yada yada, so I've let him know what he needs to do. I can't force him to follow my advice or be on him like a parent.

My question is, is anything else required of me? Should I inform his parents, close friends and/or pastor? Should I sit him down and lay it on him, will that help him or depress him more?

Well, thanks in advance for any advice.

Bear Cub · 06-07-2008, 04:46 PM

Pull someone aside and tell them for sure. You don't have to go into great detail, just bring it to their attention so they can be on the lookout. My roomate did the same to me years ago (told parents), and there hasn't been a day that I've resented him for it yet.

If you seriously think someone has the potential to harm themselves, better to do too much than too little in my opinion. I would certainly talk to him about it. The fact that someone who isn't even good friends with him expresses concern for his well-being can be eye-opening, as well as a means of showing that at least someone cares about him.

06-07-2008, 11:29 AM	#1 (permalink)
theusername Insane	My responsibility? Roommate problem Ok so I'll try to give the short run down. Me and my roommate get along fine, some issues but as is normal. He's my roommate though, not my friend, we have never had that deep connection of understanding that I share with my good friends. In all honesty, I will have no problem not having any relationship with him in the future but this isn't about me, it's about my concern for him. Anyways, right now he is sick with all kinds of symptoms and he claims he has been sick for a year and a half, I paid for his doctor visit cause he wasn't going to go and doesn't have health insurance. (IF YOUR SICK FOR OVER A WEEK AND DON'T GO TO A DOCTOR YOUR A MORON! lol, its unbelievable to me) Anyway, the doctor couldn't find anything wrong with him and suggested he may be depressed, which he vehemently denies and I'm certain that he is. Meanwhile, I've known something was off with him for quite awhile but I just started to figure that he was a lazy bum who had put himself in this position, partially true. But here, he's 26-27 years old, still pursuing his undergraduate degree in one of the toughest fields in a tough school but it is doubtful he will have the gpa to graduate. I am graduating and moving away in a few weeks but I am concerned that next year him living alone, not being able to hack it at school, economic difficulties..etc and basically people getting tired of dealing with his crap will lead to disastrous results. While I don't think he's the type that would ever harm himself, I see some really bad signs developing in his life. I have already made suggestions to him to get involved with his church, get on a regular sleep schedule, multivitamins, come up with a back plan in case school doesnt work out plan yada yada yada, so I've let him know what he needs to do. I can't force him to follow my advice or be on him like a parent. My question is, is anything else required of me? Should I inform his parents, close friends and/or pastor? Should I sit him down and lay it on him, will that help him or depress him more? Well, thanks in advance for any advice. __________________ ?

06-07-2008, 04:46 PM	#2 (permalink)
Bear Cub The Reverend Side Boob Location: Nofe Curolina	Pull someone aside and tell them for sure. You don't have to go into great detail, just bring it to their attention so they can be on the lookout. My roomate did the same to me years ago (told parents), and there hasn't been a day that I've resented him for it yet. If you seriously think someone has the potential to harm themselves, better to do too much than too little in my opinion. I would certainly talk to him about it. The fact that someone who isn't even good friends with him expresses concern for his well-being can be eye-opening, as well as a means of showing that at least someone cares about him. __________________ Living in the United Socialist States of America.