Willravel

I was talking with some old high school friends this morning when I mentioned to one that I was glad he was successful. He opened up a martial arts school after graduating and is doing well there, as well as being engaged to a wonderful woman he's totally in love with and who's totally in love with him. To my surprise, he said that he didn't see himself as successful. I thought it was an odd thing and asked him. He explained that he wasn't sure if this was the place he wanted to be, and thus he wasn't necessarily successful in his own eyes, despite appearing so to me. It got me thinking about the subjective nature of success.

What is success to you, and do you qualify under your own meaning?

Speaking for myself, I'd have to give a resounding maybe. In some ways I believe that I'm successful, but in other ways I am not. I make enough money to support myself and help my family, I love my family and they love me, and other such things, but I find it difficult to look inwards at myself from the outside and say "He's a success" without an asterisk or two. I'm not sure if it's normal 'room for improvement' types of things where I'm still growing or mistakes, but it's not 100%. I wonder if 100% would mean narcissism, denial, or fulfillment?

jewels

Don't most of us see success as having reached all of our goals and dreams?

Personally, I think most of us will see ourselves as unsuccessful if we view something about our life as flawed. Your friend, for example, might think that if he doesn't own a mansion and car full of Ferraris that he's not earning enough money. That might be enough to keep him from seeing himself as successful.

My personal view of success is one who's doing what they enjoy doing and surrounded by people they love. But that may be different with someone who's had a different experience in life, so far.

__________________
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

girldetective

One quality that speaks success to me is a thriving, teeming life filled with other people and activities. People who enjoy the thought/activity edge a bit, without the stress. Also, people who have the ability to ride the ups/downs and come out alive and somehow better for them.

Actually I think I might view the whole ideal tropical surfer life as somehow successful, or maybe thats jealousy.

As for me, I dont know if Im successful. Sometimes I think I might be and other times not so much. Being an urbanite, it doesnt bode well that Ill succeed in that surfer life so maybe Im a failure, but there might be other occasions in my real life when I do okay.

__________________
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...be cheerful; strive for happiness - Desiderata

snowy

Success is to love and be loved in return.

I am successful.

__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

blahblah454

To me success is both being finacialy well off (enough money to blow it on some toys if you feel like it) as well as doing what you love, and being in an environment that lets you do what you love.

For my current stage in life I am not looking to settle down for a few years, so being recently single, from a long term relationship, I am satisfied not being with someone. I just graduated and am looking for a job, it should pay decent and I have no idea whether I will like it or not.

So am I successful? I am not, but I could potentially be on success' doorstep.

Shauk

success is achieving my goals as to who I want to be and what I want to do, meeting the perfect person to share who THAT person is with, and having enough money to take care of my needs and at least 75% of my wants.

roachboy

success is a funny idea if you think of it as a state.
for me, it's about being able to keep going with what engages me.
right now, i'm still transitioning---but inching closer.
inching closer.

once the ship gets righted again, i'll probably also go back to thinking that i'm as successful as i think my last project was.

what's going to change is that i'm going to start paying more attention to putting my work out. i don't do that---process boy looses interest once a process sequence is over. figuring that out, and following it, may change the whole success idea around.
or it won't.

__________________
a gramophone its corrugated trumpet silver handle
spinning dog. such faithfulness it hear

it make you sick.

-kamau brathwaite

cadre

I think it's funny how closely this ties into happiness. I've always seen things in Buddhist texts about being happy and in one a Zen master acknowledged that easterners are usually unhappy with their lives where as westerners tend to be.

Am I happy? Yes. Do I equate that to success? I sure do.

You can gripe over the things you're too lazy to change all day but if you have more money or you have a different job would you be more happy? Usually the answer is no for people in this part of the world.

And by happy, I don't mean happy that you have a big house and a good job but happy that you have what you have and content with what you don't have. I think a lot of this stems from my practice (I'm Buddhist) and I'm always surprised how many people I meet that are not happy and do not think of themselves as successful. I think it's hard to think of yourself as successful if you're not truly happy with your life. And if you're not happy, how successful can you be?

__________________
My life is one of those 'you had to be there' jokes.

Cynthetiq

I am a success according to the goals I made for 30. According to newer goals, I am not.

success ebbs and flows.

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Manic_Skafe

Namako hit the nail on the head for me - I've been dead broke and without a home of my own so money really isn't even a factor in happiness or success to me.

Of course success means a whole multitude of things to me but it's most accurately equated with having good and positive people around me and a life full of culture and passion.

With that I could definitely be happy dead-end jobbing it for the rest of my life.

__________________
"Porn is a zoo of exotic animals that becomes boring upon ownership." -Nersesian

Ustwo

I will never be successful, you need to always raise the bar once you get there.

__________________
Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

laconic1

My idea of success is waking up in the morning and being happy with myself and where my life is going. By that definition I'm not even close to be successfull.

Fotzlid

I am a success in my chosen career. I am good at what I do and my peers respect me.
My home life, not so much.
Batting .500

Xerxys

I learned how to read very fast, as soon as I could get my hands on a book, I read stories in fairy tales, and quickly progressed to novels, here I saw fictitious characters who were ridiculously wealthy and had power to fell economies. And I wanted to be that, I want to be the one influencing the running mate or a candidate or anyone else.

Own artifacts that regular people call toys but I would think of as conveniences. Be so stable that simply taking me out of the equation would not be enough to stem my effect on the planet. That is success, to will mass scale change!!!

smoore

Oh hell no. I'm a failure.

I can't run a business (construction), I've proved that to myself for the last time. I'm wage slave for life.

I can't speculate correctly, hopefully I've proved that to myself.

I can kinda gamble correctly but that devil booze always gets in the way of my pokering. Silly devil, always eating my profits.

I guess I could try farming next but I imagine I'd be a horrible failure at that too.

Wage slaves unite!

__________________
smoore

Xerxys

Gosh Dammit Smoore!!!!!!! I'm fighting with this kind of mentality and lately its begun to work so now, do the same!! Get some perspective, anything you do will end just how you wanted or thought it would end, positive thinking is not a therapy, it's an approach system that can be used to channel all the right energies at the right time. Start thinking positively!!

Jinn

Since my only goal in life is happiness (hedonism), "success" is doing anything that brings me happiness. This tends to equalize itself in that doing anything which makes me happy too repetitively tends to stop making me happy, so I look for something else that does.

Right now, video games, my girlfriend, my job, and my money situation make me happy. My current location is starting to not make me as happy, so that might change soon, but other than that, I'm successful in my own world.

Granted this is my own definition of success and my own way of achieving it; having a goal of "happiness" doesn't work for most people, because it allows you to do things in excess. But since doing things in excess makes me unhappy, a nice balance is formed.

__________________
"I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel

snowy

It's very funny, but my idea of what is success is taken from the Anne of Green Gables series of novels by L.M. Montgomery--to love and be loved. Different sorts of books can lead us to very different views, I suppose.

__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Ustwo

http://tv.groups.yahoo.com/group/scifinoir/message/19

Good short story, germane to the topic.

__________________
Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

lotsofmagnets

if you consider war and peace a quick read that is

__________________
mother nature made the aeroplane, and the submarine sandwich, with the steady hands and dead eye of a remarkable sculptor.
she shed her mountain turning training wheels, for the convenience of the moving sidewalk, that delivers the magnetic monkey children through the mouth of impossible calendar clock, into the devil's manhole cauldron.
physics of a bicycle, isn't it remarkable?

smoore

It's alright, the world needs ditch diggers too. I'm thinking that I'll get out of construction and go back to the silicon mines. I'm an adept Linux administrator and it pays slightly better than the hourly wage I'm getting installing floors. I'd just stick with what I have but tenant finish (what my company specializes in, remodeling existing offices) is taking a dive because the contractors who specialize in new construction are under bidding companies like mine to keep their guys working. I've had more than four weeks down time already this year. It's a cut-throat business which is why I failed at it on my own. I couldn't compete with the price point set by the hacks in my trade.

__________________
smoore

Lasereth

Funny how almost no one in the thread mentioned how much money you make as being successful. It is possibly the greatest factor in determining if someone is successful in my eyes. It IS the greatest factor for myself in determining if I'm successful.

My goal in life is to make $100,000 a year USD but I will consider myself successful if I get to 80ish. I won't stop trying to make more money until I die.

Right now I'm 24 and am over halfway to my goal so I guess I'm successful in my eyes right now.

World's King

I never set out in life to be successful. I'm just here to have fun. Make some money and friends along the way. Help people. See what happens next.

__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown