Xazy

I am not sure if other people do it, I know it is very big in the Jewish culture, to give a gift to your wife after having a baby. A lot of times it is Jewelry, and I fully understand that you can never go wrong with Diamonds. That being said, I am unsure what to get her, I have already bought her diamond ring, sapphire diamond ring (they are small and rotate one each), gold earings (hoop half gold half white gold so you can swap them to either side to match), a silver locket, semi-precious stone necklace (and semi-precious gets precious since it is not cheap surprisingly).

Also Doc is going through a lot, she is now about 7.5 month pregnant, and her dad 3 weeks ago had a huge stroke and heart attack at the same time. All the responsibility is on her (yes I talk to the doctor run as much interference as I can, but it is her dad and she is super close with him). I just want to try to give her a gift something that can just relax, understand how much i love her and thank her for bringing in this precious new life, and well everything.

She also sucks to shop for, since while she may think she is easy, everyone I know (Cynthetiq & Skogafoss can attest to it), she isn't. So any thoughts, if you had a gift that was bought for you, and all that.

And cynthetiq NO SPORTS CAR!

Ustwo

Oh god, so we get to blame the Jews for 'push presents'.

I never heard of these until very recently, my wife brought it up when she was about 7 months pregnant with our last one. I laughed at her.

Well if you want to get your wife a REAL present, something that will do something besides look pretty, I'd recommend a maid service. Knowing its easier to take care of the house will help a lot during the recovery period.

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LoganSnake

How about taking care of the baby as much as possible giving her time to relax? Or if you want to be material, you can get something engraved. Engraving things is always cool.

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genuinegirly

Since she likes diamonds, I recommend a diamond tennis bracelet.
One of my friends recently received one of these from her husband, and she was thrilled.


Aside: you can go wrong with diamonds. But noly if your wife doesn't like diamonds. I'm more of a fan of pearls myself.

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snowy

Oh my God, Ustwo, you and I are on the same wavelength today!

As someone who works with moms a LOT, sometimes even new moms, I really second Ustwo's suggestion of a maid service. Great practical gift.

And start looking NOW to establish a relationship with an occasional childcare provider (babysitter). Your wife will want a break from the baby at some point after it's born, and choosing a good childcare provider can take time.

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Ustwo

I know it varies women to women, but many women including my wife get a bit crazy after having a baby, especially if they breast feed. I wouldn't call it postpartum depression, but closer to 24/7 pms. Being there for her etc is great, but if shes expecting a gift, there better be a gift. You are EXPECTED to be there doing your thing

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Glory's Sun

how about 2 or 3 nights of sleep?

ShaniFaye

and here I thought the greatest possible gift would be *gasp* the child

people really give wives presents? I guess if I think back to when I had Manda the one gift I'd have appreciated the most would have been a gift card to somewhere like Kohls or something to buy some pants when my post preggie belly had gone down. Or a hand made coupon book good for things done for me around the house, or an afternoon nap or (if not breast feeding..which I didnt) getting to sleep late one morning while Daddy handled it etc

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Martian

When I think of Ustwo and his wife, I picture this:

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Daniel_

Pack of condoms?

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abaya

Yeah, they're called "push presents," as Ustwo reminded us. There was a big article in the NY Times about it recently. I didn't know it was a Jewish tradition, however.

I agree with getting a maid, or at least a book of coupons or something less flashy, more useful... but that's my thing. I'm not a fan of flashy jewelry whatsoever, especially not as a reward for shoving a bowling ball through my cervix... but if that's what she wants, then get it for her.

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savmesom11

Xazy, you have made my heart melt a few times and you have done it again with this thread. You sound like an awesome husband and even better, you're going to be a brilliant father. I do agree with Ustwo (for once, haha just kidding Ustwo) the gift of a maid service is very practical and would be very much appreciated. As the mother of two I can attest that even though you think newborns just eat and sleep and you will have plenty of time to get things done
time just slips away.

I would however; bring this up first because some women are just not comfortable with another person in their home doing what they do.

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Ustwo

I showed my wife this thread and she was a bit miffed at me, and stated that push presents have been around a long time.

I showed her a link where it stated they were a recent trend in the US. She was still miffed

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ShaniFaye

Im miffed there are women that actually expect this type of gift

(I should add....if you WANT to give a present, then fine go right ahead, its a sweet gesture,....its the expectation of getting one that miffs me)

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

robot_parade

I got the wife a dozen roses for each of our kids while she was waiting for release (well, actually, not the middle one, because it was a c-section, and things were a bit crazy...but I *meant* to). Sort of frivolous and expensive, but what the heck. I got an extra dozen for our little girl when she was born, too. I was already in her thrall, I guess...

Other than something like flowers, or maybe a little extra help when she gets home, like the maid service idea...I'm not really convinced of the idea.

Ustwo

I hear you.

My wife is on some of those new mother type message boards and I think there is a bit of a 'highschool' like air there, where if one does it the others want it too. So when a friend at her gym gets one, now she can't say what I got her.

Luckily shes about out of those nasty post pregnancy hormones and will be back to rational soon.

Edit: I should add I got my wife a maid service not long after the birth of our first born to help out, but it had nothing to do with a push present

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girldetective

Take her out for lunch and shopping to buy her a present; go together and make a day of it. Then, get her the housekeeping service.

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surferlove007

I'm thinking time at a spa. A massage, mani and pedi and just get pampered. let someone else do the work since she's been carrying your new baby...thats probably what I'd want. Then again I've never had a baby.

Leto

My oldest son was born near the end of October. Coincidentally, I received a $1000 performance spot bonus from work that year, a day after his birth. since this birth was a Caesarian, my wife had to remain in the hospital for the requisite 5 days, so I had the opportunity to pop into a jewellry store and got a string of pearls for her.

She was shocked and cried when I gave them to her. This was 18 years ago, and there was no expectation on her part. Just lucky inspiration on my part.

Cynthetiq

it's not a sports car... it's practical and fits a baby seat and has plenty of trunk room, or the touring model...



BMW M5



BMW M5 Touring

give her some time to relax... however she wants it.

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Ustwo

See now this I can support and say job well done.

Its the expectation which makes it such a negative thing to me.

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The_Jazz

For the first one, I got her a Tiffany rattle with Max's vitals engraved on it. It's in his room now, but it was more of a Valentine's present for her than a push prize. For Drew, I didn't get her anything, and she didn't expect anything.

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*Nikki*

I would agree with whoever said a promised day of shopping, eating out, and time ALONE away from the baby after he/she is born.

Halx

The maid service is more a gift for yourself 'cause you're still the only one capable of doing chores for a while. Its a gift I would definitely give. If I gave gifts like this.

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levite

Gotta tell you guys, this "push present" thing is new to me. I'm fairly hooked into trends in the Jewish community-- no secret to all here that I'm kinda Jewy McJewson, born on the fourth of Jewly-- and I have never heard of this.

Not that I'm married or have kids, but I would've thought that, rather than diamonds, a woman who's just given birth might appreciate something a little more pragmatic: the hire of a maid or nanny...delivery of groceries...a brand-new vagina....

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Absence, because it doth remove
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The_Jazz

I discussed this thread with The_Wife a short time ago, and she has the following advice for gifts:

Earplugs
Night nurse
Nipple cream
Someone willing to stay with the kid on its 3 month birthday and give the parents a night of uninterrupted sleep.
A membership to a gym with a nursery that takes kids after 3 months.
Dad (The_Jazz) to stop snoring while she's nursing.

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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
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abaya

AWESOME. Unless, of course, she has a c-section. But yeah, that would be awesome. Also awesome... I have a friend with a 3 month old baby right now, and she lives in France... where very few gyms have daycare for kids while the parents work out. The mom is dying... she's really into fitness and hates all the weight she gained (which I don't see, but okay) during pregnancy. She's slowly going insane from the lack of opportunity to work out. She hates fancy jewelry as well, but if someone could give her a gift certificate to a gym or rock climbing gym that had daycare... she'd be in 7th heaven.

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for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

World's King

I'm sure the best gift would be a long nap.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

Seaver

Not to sidetrack, but why does Jewy McJewson have a Hand of Fatima as his avatar?

Back on topic, I support any man who gives his wife a present after birth. I've never actually heard about it before now, but I agree the expectation of it is wrong. Honestly, it'd probably anger me a bit if it were brought up to me in an expectation.

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Baraka_Guru

It's also known as the Hand of Miriam. (Miriam is the sister of Moses.)

* * * * *

I don't care the situation, no one should ever expect gifts. It ruins the spirit of gift-giving and makes it seem more of a payment. Though I think it is a kind gesture to offer a new mother a gift. It is a great occasion for one.

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levite

A number of different religions have the upraised hand as a symbol or motif. The Muslims call it the Hand of Fatima. Among the Jews, we call it a Hamsa (Judeo-Arabic for "five," it is neither the hand of Moses or Miriam, but generally perceived as a representation of an angelic hand, and considered a protective symbol). The Jains say it is a symbol of Ahimsa. I believe certain sects of Buddhism also use it as a symbol, but I don't know what they call it.

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Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)

Seaver

Ah, learn something new everyday. We really don't have many Jews in Texas... honestly met the first Jew in my life now that I've moved to Chicago.

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"Smite the rocks with the rod of knowledge, and fountains of unstinted wealth will gush forth." - Ashbel Smith as he laid the first cornerstone of the University of Texas

Ustwo

Chicago Jews are not really very Jewish. At one point I didn't know just how many of my friends were Jewish.

Then I met some from the east coast in my schooling, they make sure you know how Jewish they were, who the other Jews were, how they had to marry someone 'tribal', blah blah blah.

They seemed pretty unhappy with the Chicago Jewish population not being Jewish enough.

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Charlatan

I can't believe this trend of giving gifts for giving births... I didn't even consider doing something like this... and my wife didn't even suggest it. Is this for real?

I suppose if I wanted to do something nice for her, I would take extra night shifts with the baby so she can get a good night's sleep. Other than that... maybe a pat on the back?

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mixedmedia

I never got presents after having my kids.

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Xazy

Thank you for the thoughts. I do have 2 different people local who can help out with the baby but not sure if she will want, as well as I have family across the street. I also work in the neighborhood so can come over during the day to help out. As far as spa stuff, she still has some gift certificates I gave her a while back that she still has not used, but it is always a good idea.

Xazy

Wanted to thank everyone again for the idea, sadly I can not use any. Since my father-in-law passed away recently my wife is still in mourning until May of next year (Jewish observance of mourning for a parent is for 1 year). And while in mourning she can not get any gifts.

Sorry, Cynthetiq no car for her, heck not even a birthday cake today.

girldetective

Peace.

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As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...be cheerful; strive for happiness - Desiderata

telekinetic

I'm going to give my wife a puppy--a small pink human puppy.

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LoganSnake

Like this?

http://www.gamerevolution.com/oldsit...dog_monkey.jpg

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