why wont he just leave me alone. what should i do? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

InTransition951 · 03-21-2008, 12:11 AM

why are there people out there in life that have a problem with you because of who you are.

i thought he has outgrown this but, this one guy that has a problem with me during my high school years just wont stop giving me a bad name. i mean, it is my first year in college and he just still wont stop bothering me ever since 10th grade.

and he is not just playing around too but, he is adding my friends through facebook and telling them fake information about me. i do not disclose any information really either. i really just want to get on with building my life and leave all that high school problems behind me. and i hate being in conflicts with people. and i know he wont stop too cause hes still living in that high school drama world. i dont know him really except hes connected with one of my friends. and he just does this all online using my name over the girl we fought over back then which i am already over with.

i dont want to reply and start something since i have tried that before. and hes all the way on the other side of the state. any advice would be helpful.

-thank you

whatever1 · 03-21-2008, 04:06 AM

a restraining order or harrassment complaint would shut him up, or atleast give you ammunition to go after him

pig · 03-21-2008, 04:40 AM

Ahhh...from the perspective of one a little older than you, simply refuse to play along. This too shall pass. Don't let it get to you - tell your friends that some asshole from highschool is pissed off because you were rivals for a young lady's affection, and the loser can't let it go. These things happen in life from time to time...if you don't let it bother you, he will no longer get any thrill from fucking with you, and eventually he will be distracted by fucking with someone else, or car payments, or feeding babies, or whatever.

Jinn · 03-21-2008, 07:18 AM

When someone bullies you, you ignore them. They only bully because it gets a reaction.

If they cross the line from bullying to illegality, then you sue their pants off.

kurty[B] · 03-21-2008, 07:27 AM

Posting things to friends online. If they are really your friends they won't believe what he has to say, and if they do, they'll come to you and ask if it's true. If they believe what he says and it effects your relationship with them than they really aren't your friends. People like him are the reason I hate facebook and myspace, and don't bother using those sites. Ignore him. If you have him on your facebook and myspace friend's list, take him off. Disassociate with him on every level and don't react to anything he does. You can't control if he "friends" your friends and tells them lies, you can just hope you have good enough friends to not believe him. If not, look at new friends at your college who don't know him, and honestly leave the high school BS behind. If he's making harassing phone calls, text messaging, or something you can have hard proof of, go to the local courthouse and file a restraining order. Hopefully, a restraining order will shut him up, or piss him off, and he'll flame you even more. In that case you go to the hearing for a restraining order, have it filed, and file a warrant for his arrest the very next time he calls you.

InTransition951 · 03-21-2008, 07:35 AM

thanks. but i still find it hard to believe that people still actually do this in their lives after awhile. maybe theyre still troubled or cant get over some little thing. who knows

Jinn · 03-21-2008, 07:45 AM

"One year into college" isn't far from high school, and some people stay in "high school" mentality all their lives. I have friends who are still, half a decade away from high school, behaving just as they did when they were 17. It's worth noting that none of them went to college. It's a lot harder to "grow up" when you go straight from high school to work.

Hektore · 03-21-2008, 08:37 AM

There really isn't anything more to be said. Some people never grow up. Ignore it if you can. If you can't, pursue legal recourse (restraining order, etc).

Quote:

Originally Posted by InTransition951

why are there people out there in life that have a problem with you because of who you are.

Not to derail the thread, but what more legitimate reason would a person have for 'having a problem with you' besides who you are?

InTransition951 · 03-21-2008, 09:21 AM

i guess i was being cynical yesterday clouded by my own thoughts. but yeah, i understand that. i was trying to be someone else back then and not myself. with that, he hates me and not who i am now in the present. and knowing that, people only remember who someone is back then will remain in their mind as what an old teacher said to me awhile back.

but after rethinking the whole situation, it cant be all helped. and its all in a matter of time. but as what the ying yang symbolizes, there will always be bad with the good. no matter what happens in life.

but back on the topic, ill try my best to ignore it. and the only people hes talking to really are people i used to know but went off somewhere else in life. but i do have a history of worrying and overthinking though. but ill settle over in time.

ShaniFaye · 03-21-2008, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by InTransition951

thanks. but i still find it hard to believe that people still actually do this in their lives after awhile. maybe theyre still troubled or cant get over some little thing. who knows

Dave and I are going thru *kind of * the same thing. Dave has a group of friends that he's been friends with since high school, Dave is 35 now, and his so called best friend got pissed off with something and has now proceeded to declare that since he doesnt approve of our *lifestyle* that their circle of friends has to choose him or Dave...sad thing is all but one of them has chosen to stop associating with Dave....and you know what? We have had the most most drama free time out of the last five years (since I came along and his best friend decided he couldnt stand me because I didnt think he set the moon and stars and told him that to his face).

Your real friends will ignore the asshole...just know that SOME people spend their lives doing this kind of stuff to make them feel important and people who listen to what they have to say just feed into it and give them no reason to stop

MSD · 03-21-2008, 04:54 PM

Your friends can report the harassment to Facebook and his account will be disabled. Other than that, just explain the situation to people and let the shithead waste his life until he stops bothering you or dies from a drug/alcohol problem (trust me, the kind of asshole who holds a petty grudge like this is likely to OD on heroin or get hammered and slam his car into a highway divider.)

InTransition951 · 03-22-2008, 09:46 PM

funny thing is, he did attempt this one time in the past about 9 or 10 months ago all because he lost a game of warcraft 3, which i dont play anymore since i gave up online gaming due to the problems it caused me and not because of him.

i know, what are the chances that id see him on there. but he was all acting nice to me, asking me nicely to leave just because i was there and not having it one of my better games. the next day or so, i see a fake profile about me with the same middle school racist homophobic sense of humor from conversation he was having with his friend on WC3 while ridiculing me. How was it him for sure? well i found out he secretly kept and watched my AIM screen name awhile back which is the same sn i used for my warcraft 3 account. and i guess he wanted to get revenge for the loss. i did report him on facebook and it was deleted too. but the reason another one was made recently? i have no idea.

but it seems that facebook changed everything with the privacy policy. i am on having my friends report him which he will get deleted again. chances are hell make another one in the future. but thats what happens when you stay inside for most of your life with not much accomplishment in advancing. whats his motive in this? thats something everyone would like to know.

debaser · 03-22-2008, 10:13 PM

Quote:

Jack up and secure the vehicle so that the rear tire is off the ground. Remove the tire from the drum, and set it aside. Using the 11mm flare-nut wrench, loosen and unthread the brake line fitting until it spins free from the wheel cylinder. You may find it easier to reach if you first remove the bleeder valve with a 7mm wrench.

Problem solved...

Hektore · 03-23-2008, 06:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by debaser

Jack up and secure the vehicle so that the rear tire is off the ground. Remove the tire from the drum, and set it aside. Using the 11mm flare-nut wrench, loosen and unthread the brake line fitting until it spins free from the wheel cylinder. You may find it easier to reach if you first remove the bleeder valve with a 7mm wrench.

Not that you should even consider doing this...but if you did, seems like a waste of time to me to do all that work when the lines themselves are usually plainly visible when you lie beside the car and stick your nose under and can be easily cut with any old wire cutters in only a few seconds.

World's King · 03-23-2008, 08:14 AM

Okay... Yeah it sucks to have someone harass you for seemingly no reason. But it's never for no reason.

If you explained in further detail why this person has a problem with you then maybe you could solve the problem. Simply saying he has a problem because of 'who you are' is a cop out. You did something to this person a long time ago. Or something happened to him that you were involved in.

Ignoring your problems won't make them go away. Deal with it head on. Contact the guy and ask why he still feels the need to harass you.

Hain · 03-23-2008, 08:26 AM

Invite him to TFP and we all can have a nice chat. He can either stop or you can enable one of the suggestions we have come up with so far.

If he isn't over a girl back in the 9th grade... it doesn't sound like he gets much in the dating department. He'll screw up his own life. You don't have to help much. However, this would be a time to be in conflict with him. Tell him to stop this bull, and see if his harassment is enough for a restraining order.

Jenna · 03-23-2008, 08:40 AM

I hate to parallel this situation, but this sounds just like what I dealt with when I was in Middle School.

It's so frustrating because you just want them(him) to leave you alone, but they(he) won't and they bother you to the point where you can't take it anymore and you flip - which just escalates the situation further. My suggestion, try to restrain, at all costs. Don't respond to him and just let your friends know that he's doing this to you. Don't change a thing you do because of him. Once he's successful with one thing, it will fuel him even more.

If he steps over legal boundaries, then of course, get the police involved.

It will end, you just have to bear with it for now.

Tully Mars · 03-23-2008, 12:19 PM

Sounds a lot like a lady I used to work with. Completely anti-social. Lied endlessly, gossiped endlessly and for a while people believed her. IMO, people like this tend to be very passive aggressive and manipulative. I found the best thing to do is play it straight up, confront lies with facts. Once people find out he's told a lie, or even better that he's played them, he'll loose credibility quickly.

Feel for you, best of luck. It's a tough situation.

InTransition951 · 03-24-2008, 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by World's King

Okay... Yeah it sucks to have someone harass you for seemingly no reason. But it's never for no reason.

If you explained in further detail why this person has a problem with you then maybe you could solve the problem. Simply saying he has a problem because of 'who you are' is a cop out. You did something to this person a long time ago. Or something happened to him that you were involved in.

Ignoring your problems won't make them go away. Deal with it head on. Contact the guy and ask why he still feels the need to harass you.

if ya wanna hear the story then ok. ill try and explain the story that involves him

i hated the guy and ranted about him a lot back then. i always said how lame it was that they met through an online videogame and how she choose him over me. i couldnt get over it for a year and a half. im guessing he was mad about how i said all that stuff in the past and couldnt get over it, even today. but i said all that stuff over 2 years ago, back in high school as i said in an earlier post. and you know how teenage high school people are. drama inducing kids about relationships and talking behind each others backs to make us feel better. i didnt even talk to him much anyways but i did say sorry and she did forgive me thinking it was all over. im thinking he saw one of my old rants about him? sure. but all that stuff was from over 2 years ago during high school. i dont know what his problem is.

and about the guy, hes like one of those nerdy gaming for life guys who hangs out on the internet a lot along with xbox live, anime expos, and gaming stores like game crazy and EB games. i cant say much more about him though since i do not know anything else about him. but thats what he said about himself from the last time i saw his myspace 2 years ago. i dont even know nor care about the guy anymore.

Halx · 03-24-2008, 12:41 PM

And out it comes.

Seems like you've got a bit of a rival there.

I had a few gaming rivals in my day. Mostly people with egos that matched the size of mine. Some resorted to personal flaming, but I never gave anyone any clue of how to get hooked up with my personal shit.

You should play it cool and just ignore him. He'll get a life and move on.

03-21-2008, 12:11 AM	#1 (permalink)
InTransition951 Upright Location: Northern CA	why wont he just leave me alone. what should i do? why are there people out there in life that have a problem with you because of who you are. i thought he has outgrown this but, this one guy that has a problem with me during my high school years just wont stop giving me a bad name. i mean, it is my first year in college and he just still wont stop bothering me ever since 10th grade. and he is not just playing around too but, he is adding my friends through facebook and telling them fake information about me. i do not disclose any information really either. i really just want to get on with building my life and leave all that high school problems behind me. and i hate being in conflicts with people. and i know he wont stop too cause hes still living in that high school drama world. i dont know him really except hes connected with one of my friends. and he just does this all online using my name over the girl we fought over back then which i am already over with. i dont want to reply and start something since i have tried that before. and hes all the way on the other side of the state. any advice would be helpful. -thank you __________________ looking young can be fun at times in some situations. but many older people do not take you so seriously.

03-21-2008, 04:40 AM	#3 (permalink)
pig pigglet pigglet Location: Locash	Ahhh...from the perspective of one a little older than you, simply refuse to play along. This too shall pass. Don't let it get to you - tell your friends that some asshole from highschool is pissed off because you were rivals for a young lady's affection, and the loser can't let it go. These things happen in life from time to time...if you don't let it bother you, he will no longer get any thrill from fucking with you, and eventually he will be distracted by fucking with someone else, or car payments, or feeding babies, or whatever. __________________ You don't love me, you just love my piggy style

03-21-2008, 07:18 AM	#4 (permalink)
Jinn Lover - Protector - Teacher Location: Seattle, WA	When someone bullies you, you ignore them. They only bully because it gets a reaction. If they cross the line from bullying to illegality, then you sue their pants off. __________________ "I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel

03-21-2008, 07:27 AM	#5 (permalink)
kurty[B] Sauce Puppet	Posting things to friends online. If they are really your friends they won't believe what he has to say, and if they do, they'll come to you and ask if it's true. If they believe what he says and it effects your relationship with them than they really aren't your friends. People like him are the reason I hate facebook and myspace, and don't bother using those sites. Ignore him. If you have him on your facebook and myspace friend's list, take him off. Disassociate with him on every level and don't react to anything he does. You can't control if he "friends" your friends and tells them lies, you can just hope you have good enough friends to not believe him. If not, look at new friends at your college who don't know him, and honestly leave the high school BS behind. If he's making harassing phone calls, text messaging, or something you can have hard proof of, go to the local courthouse and file a restraining order. Hopefully, a restraining order will shut him up, or piss him off, and he'll flame you even more. In that case you go to the hearing for a restraining order, have it filed, and file a warrant for his arrest the very next time he calls you. __________________ In the Absence of Information People Make Things Up.

03-21-2008, 07:35 AM	#6 (permalink)
InTransition951 Upright Location: Northern CA	thanks. but i still find it hard to believe that people still actually do this in their lives after awhile. maybe theyre still troubled or cant get over some little thing. who knows __________________ looking young can be fun at times in some situations. but many older people do not take you so seriously.

03-21-2008, 04:06 AM	#2 (permalink)
whatever1 Tilted Location: Central PA	a restraining order or harrassment complaint would shut him up, or atleast give you ammunition to go after him

03-21-2008, 07:45 AM	#7 (permalink)
Jinn Lover - Protector - Teacher Location: Seattle, WA	"One year into college" isn't far from high school, and some people stay in "high school" mentality all their lives. I have friends who are still, half a decade away from high school, behaving just as they did when they were 17. It's worth noting that none of them went to college. It's a lot harder to "grow up" when you go straight from high school to work. __________________ "I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel

03-21-2008, 09:21 AM	#9 (permalink)
InTransition951 Upright Location: Northern CA	i guess i was being cynical yesterday clouded by my own thoughts. but yeah, i understand that. i was trying to be someone else back then and not myself. with that, he hates me and not who i am now in the present. and knowing that, people only remember who someone is back then will remain in their mind as what an old teacher said to me awhile back. but after rethinking the whole situation, it cant be all helped. and its all in a matter of time. but as what the ying yang symbolizes, there will always be bad with the good. no matter what happens in life. but back on the topic, ill try my best to ignore it. and the only people hes talking to really are people i used to know but went off somewhere else in life. but i do have a history of worrying and overthinking though. but ill settle over in time. __________________ looking young can be fun at times in some situations. but many older people do not take you so seriously.

03-21-2008, 04:54 PM	#11 (permalink)
MSD The sky calls to us ... Super Moderator Location: CT	Your friends can report the harassment to Facebook and his account will be disabled. Other than that, just explain the situation to people and let the shithead waste his life until he stops bothering you or dies from a drug/alcohol problem (trust me, the kind of asshole who holds a petty grudge like this is likely to OD on heroin or get hammered and slam his car into a highway divider.)

03-22-2008, 09:46 PM	#12 (permalink)
InTransition951 Upright Location: Northern CA	funny thing is, he did attempt this one time in the past about 9 or 10 months ago all because he lost a game of warcraft 3, which i dont play anymore since i gave up online gaming due to the problems it caused me and not because of him. i know, what are the chances that id see him on there. but he was all acting nice to me, asking me nicely to leave just because i was there and not having it one of my better games. the next day or so, i see a fake profile about me with the same middle school racist homophobic sense of humor from conversation he was having with his friend on WC3 while ridiculing me. How was it him for sure? well i found out he secretly kept and watched my AIM screen name awhile back which is the same sn i used for my warcraft 3 account. and i guess he wanted to get revenge for the loss. i did report him on facebook and it was deleted too. but the reason another one was made recently? i have no idea. but it seems that facebook changed everything with the privacy policy. i am on having my friends report him which he will get deleted again. chances are hell make another one in the future. but thats what happens when you stay inside for most of your life with not much accomplishment in advancing. whats his motive in this? thats something everyone would like to know. __________________ looking young can be fun at times in some situations. but many older people do not take you so seriously.

03-23-2008, 08:14 AM	#15 (permalink)
World's King Here Location: Denver City Denver	Okay... Yeah it sucks to have someone harass you for seemingly no reason. But it's never for no reason. If you explained in further detail why this person has a problem with you then maybe you could solve the problem. Simply saying he has a problem because of 'who you are' is a cop out. You did something to this person a long time ago. Or something happened to him that you were involved in. Ignoring your problems won't make them go away. Deal with it head on. Contact the guy and ask why he still feels the need to harass you. __________________ heavy is the head that wears the crown

03-23-2008, 08:26 AM	#16 (permalink)
Hain has a plan Location: middle of Whywouldanyonebethere	Invite him to TFP and we all can have a nice chat. He can either stop or you can enable one of the suggestions we have come up with so far. If he isn't over a girl back in the 9th grade... it doesn't sound like he gets much in the dating department. He'll screw up his own life. You don't have to help much. However, this would be a time to be in conflict with him. Tell him to stop this bull, and see if his harassment is enough for a restraining order. Last edited by Hain; 03-23-2008 at 08:37 AM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost

03-23-2008, 08:40 AM	#17 (permalink)
Jenna Psycho Location: Wisconsin	I hate to parallel this situation, but this sounds just like what I dealt with when I was in Middle School. It's so frustrating because you just want them(him) to leave you alone, but they(he) won't and they bother you to the point where you can't take it anymore and you flip - which just escalates the situation further. My suggestion, try to restrain, at all costs. Don't respond to him and just let your friends know that he's doing this to you. Don't change a thing you do because of him. Once he's successful with one thing, it will fuel him even more. If he steps over legal boundaries, then of course, get the police involved. It will end, you just have to bear with it for now.

03-23-2008, 12:19 PM	#18 (permalink)
Tully Mars Living in a Warmer Insanity Super Moderator Location: Yucatan, Mexico	Sounds a lot like a lady I used to work with. Completely anti-social. Lied endlessly, gossiped endlessly and for a while people believed her. IMO, people like this tend to be very passive aggressive and manipulative. I found the best thing to do is play it straight up, confront lies with facts. Once people find out he's told a lie, or even better that he's played them, he'll loose credibility quickly. Feel for you, best of luck. It's a tough situation. __________________ I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

03-24-2008, 12:41 PM	#20 (permalink)
Halx Please touch this. Owner/Admin Location: Manhattan	And out it comes. Seems like you've got a bit of a rival there. I had a few gaming rivals in my day. Mostly people with egos that matched the size of mine. Some resorted to personal flaming, but I never gave anyone any clue of how to get hooked up with my personal shit. You should play it cool and just ignore him. He'll get a life and move on. __________________ You have found this post informative. -The Administrator [Don't Feed The Animals] Last edited by Halx; 03-24-2008 at 12:46 PM..