noodle

After an incident yeesterday, I realized that no matter how many times people will tell someone else about a lesson they learned, the other person frequently must go through the experience him or herself before actually believing it. I frequently like to assume that I'm right, and often I am in my current circle of friends and coworkers, but sometimes I just do something or experience something expecting a different result or remember what they said after it happened. Anyone else?

Feel free to post up those things you had to learn The Hard Way. Here's a few of mine....


* Eight times out of ten the phrase "I can't" will be followed by the phrase "I won't" some time during the discussion.

* Teasing someone else's cat is not usually a good idea until you know if
1. they have claws
2. they bite
3. they carry grudges

* People will let you down. Period. Accept it and share your expectations with others.

* Yelling at your "co-pilot" while driving in the rain to an unfamiliar destination when only they know the directions will not get you to your destination any faster.

*If you're allergic to a food ingredient and are unfamiliar with a dish, don't kiss your boyfriend after he eats it unless you ask the server what's in it first.

and... what I learned yesterday......

* Never, ever try to get something out of your nose after slicing up Hanbanero peppers.
Not even two hours later.
Kleenex can tear and the antibacterial soap isn't THAT good.

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Hain

Something I didn't learn the hard way, but my friend did:

* Men: Never go to the bathroom after eating the hottest, spiciest wings from BWW with your hands, unless you plan on using napkins as gloves (or become OCD with those wet-wipes).

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////\\// IRONSKY.NET \\//\\\\

savmesom11

ALWAYS have your hair professionally colored/highlighted! You can skimp on other "luxuries" but never, ever skimp when it comes to your hair.

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* I do not believe that struggles are a sign of life falling apart, but rather a step of life falling into place. *

KellyC

Love sucks. If the ride is bumpy from the beginning, it's likely not going to get any better later. I learned to identify the warning signs. I learned to deal with problems when they come up. I learned to communicate. And the hardest thing of all, I learned to walk away when it's over...

Took me over 2.5 years to learn this. Hardest lesson in my life. But something tells me I still have a lot to learn from all of this.

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Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe?
Me: Shit happens.

noodle

If a little one says, "I don't feel good," hand them back the their parent.

When someone is hurting all they really need is to know that you're there.
They don't necessarily need a daily phone call, tons of homecooked meals, or constant questions about how they are feeling.
Unless they tell you so.

You MUST learn to identify what is a need and what is a want to ever truly be happy and successful in life.

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kurty[B]

I am certainly a "must experience it" before learning it type of person.

A few of note...

* A car on all fours goes farther and is much cheaper to maintain than a car on its side, front or roof.

* You're sure you checked everything on that used car bought in California, engine pressure, history records, maintenance history, but did you check the contents of the engine coolant tank before driving it home to your freezing cold state. Make sure its anti-freeze and not just water next time.

* Pack light, lugging around too much crap because you think you might use it is not worth the mobility of being able to get on and off trains with ease in a foreign country because you can use your boxers as swim trunks, and wash your clothes in a sink.

* Always pack toilet paper with your toiletries bag. There's nothing like trying to determine if that leaf is going to itch afterwards.

* Just because you can, doesn't mean you should (I'm still learning this one).

* Relying on other people is like relying on the weather. Plan for their involvement, but prepare as if no one will show (for example, back-up plan, or rain gear). Don't let other people determine how much fun you have.

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In the Absence of Information People Make Things Up.

roachboy

it seems like i only learn stuff about myself the hard way.
sometimes i wish that i was wired differently.

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a gramophone its corrugated trumpet silver handle
spinning dog. such faithfulness it hear

it make you sick.

-kamau brathwaite

ratbastid

In theory, there's no difference between theory and practice. In practice, there is.

World's King

No matter how hard you try, there is always someway for them to identify a dead body.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

Willravel

Burn the body completely in a furnace, pulverize the bones, and dump it in the ocean. Bleach the furnace and scrub it, then cook pork in it.

Not that I've done that.

World's King

I'll tell you if it works.

__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown

JimmyTheHutt

I like the cut of your jib, sir.

(files away notes for further research)

Veritas et Lux!
Jimmy The Hutt

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Think Jabba, only with more hair and vestigal legs....

"This isn't a nightmare, its real. Nightmare's end."
-ShadowDancer

shakran

A man named Steven Avery from Two Rivers, Wisconsin tried your method, with the exception of the pork-cooking and the ocean-dumping. Didn't work so well for him, and he's spending life in jail now.

Willravel

The dust in the ocean is impossible to inspect after a very short time, especially if you dump in different areas for each hooker. The pork cooking ruins any residual DNA that may have survived the heat and bleach by covering it up with DNA that's similar.

Steven Avery didn't dispose of the bullet. You don't kill with bullets.

The funny thing is, I'm the last person on Earth who would hurt someone. I just really like serial killer fiction.

inBOIL

When you and a friend are trying to solve a problem, and he sudenly comes up with an idea, demand that he explain it to you before doing anything. Especially if he says "just trust me"

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And you believe Bush and the liberals and divorced parents and gays and blacks and the Christian right and fossil fuels and Xbox are all to blame, meanwhile you yourselves create an ad where your kid hits you in the head with a baseball and you don't understand the message that the problem is you.

Shauk

if your ex is going to fuck around with other guys, dont assume that because she shows an interest in you that she's going to stop fucking around with other guys.

jewels

When it's over, let it go. You only prolong the pain by trying to hang on to any remaining shreds.

It's easier to give others advice than to take your own.

Change what you can change. Accept what can't be changed since your misery and grief are going to make you feel worse.

If you wake up and you're breathing, things are good.

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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

abaya

Never, ever start a PhD.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

The_Jazz

Never get out of the habit of cold calls and client visits. Inertia's a bitch, especially when you're tired.

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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

Crack

Meddle thee not in the affairs of Dragons, for thou art crunchy and wouldst be tasty with ketchup.

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Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex.

~Halx

Push-Pull

You can certainly accomplish anything that you put your mind to, but you may find that the rest of the world has other plans.

Achieving your goals is sometimes like the ocean wearing down a large boulder. One grain of sand at a time.

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"No laws, no matter how rigidly enforced, can protect a person from their own stupidity." -Me-

"Some people are like Slinkies..... They are not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs." -Unknown-

DAMMIT! -Jack Bauer-

ItWasMe

When you're on a road trip and a child says, "mommy I have to potty and I can't wait"... they mean it.

If your child reaches for you to pick them up and says, "mommy I don't feel good" ... find out whether or not they are talking about nausea before you give them a hug.

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"Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez

I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe

snowy

I always pack a travel pack of baby wipes in my bag when I travel. My parents' rule of thumb with baggage was: If you can't carry it yourself, you can't bring it. This was drilled into me by a month-long train trip we took touring the eastern U.S., where I had to carry my backpack myself all over Chicago, Manhattan, and Washington, D.C.

And yes...I'm still learning the just because I can, doesn't mean I should thing...someday I'll get it.

All of the lessons I've learned about love, like knowing when to walk away, are definitely lessons I had to learn the hard way. There was definitely a lot of heartache involved.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

TotalMILF

Always make sure you have enough diapers for your child, even if you're just running to the grocery store.

Tea from Starbucks comes out hotter than the surface of the sun.

Raising your deductible to lower your insurance premium is NOT a good idea.

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"I'm sorry, all I heard was blah blah blah, I'm a dirty tramp."

abaya

I am responsible for myself. My actions, my feelings, my reactions... I own all of these things, regardless of how I'd like others to bear the blame. The times when I choose to abdicate this responsibility, I become a coward.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Ustwo

Unless you are a superstar athlete, its always best to be your own boss.

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Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

telekinetic

*Using your unwashed hands to wipe the sweat out of your eyes is not an appropriate way to celebrate completing the "Blazin' Challenge" (a dozen of BWW's hottest variety eaten as quickly as possible...I did it in 1:40)

*Don't fuck up your credit as a teenager. You will really really really really really really really regret it in about five years when you try to buy a house or car. Seriously. If I could go back in time and strangle the shit out of my younger self I would.

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twisted no more

ItWasMe

Some of these would make such good signature lines, I swear.

Don't throw a ball for a large dog to fetch at the park, while you are holding tightly onto the leash. Big OOOF! moment there.

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"Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez

I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe

amire

When dealing with women: assert yourself enough to avoid being a pussy, but not so much that you're an asshole. Find the right balance.

Working through the meat of a project and finishing said endeavor are both a HELL of a lot easier than starting. Start as soon as possible.

Cynthetiq

No matter how deep you bury it, shit still stinks.

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

savmesom11

When a child (especially a cute little girl) is pretending to have a tea party and says, "drink this" inspect the contents of the cup first.

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* I do not believe that struggles are a sign of life falling apart, but rather a step of life falling into place. *

shaman

Don't throw Butts in the Loo, for they are subtle and quick to anger

Seer666

NEVER cook bacon naked.

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Bad spellers of the world untie!!!

I am the one you warned me of

I seem to have misplaced the bullet with your name on it, but I have a whole box addressed to occupant.

Plan9

Don't trust your life to pussies with mustaches.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

allaboutmusic

If you turn up to meet your date, and you get the feeling something's not quite right about your date, you are probably right.

Plan9

And by this I mean weak men and not manicured vulvas.

(Thanks, Augi)

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Manic_Skafe

A year off from school turns into a few years off from school.

Go to college.

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"Porn is a zoo of exotic animals that becomes boring upon ownership." -Nersesian

little_tippler

Learn to say NO, and mean it. There are only 24 hours in each day and you need to sleep for a few of those.

If when in a relationship, you have some niggling doubts, but brush them away, you probably should actually pay attention to them. Thinking you're in love and being obstinate is not enough to make a relationship work - it takes two.

If it's not "pretty perfect" in the beginning, it's unlikely that the relationship will last the course.

Most teachers only read the introduction and the conclusion to your papers.

The fact that you may actually deserve something doesn't at all mean that you will get it.

Willpower is everything.

No matter how much you like someone, they can always hate your guts and you may never understand why. Sometimes two people can be like oil and water, that's just how it is.

Sometimes revealing everything is a very bad idea. Instincts are overrated. Making yourself vulnerable is generally stupid. People will, 99.9 % of the time, take advantage of that.

You may be right, but what matters is to be on the right side. It's still ok to stand on your own.

Given the chance, most people WILL be rude. Stop being so damned nice!

Even though most guys say they like confident women, most will run if you make the first move.

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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

Plan9

The military makes you self-righteous around civilians.

Suffering almost always makes you a better person.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Willravel

Yes, yes I am.