Miss Mango

If your partner, friend, or family member was having any sort of problem with you, and needed some advice, or just to vent, would you rather they go to someone you both know, or post somewhat anonymously on a message board about it?

Being a pretty private person, I think Id rather have them post about it on a message board where people didnt know me.

n0nsensical

None of the above; I would rather they sit down with me and deal with it man-to-man (figuratively speaking).

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Charlatan

nonsensical has it right... deal with the issue head on. If you truly want to solve your problems. The direct approach is usually best.

That said, if you are looking for advice on how to approach this person, I'd say yes the the Internet Forum.

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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Willravel

I don't trust anyone's advice but my own.

Don't be a coward. Talk to me about it.

Miss Mango

Let me rephrase the question... They have already tried talking to you but are getting no where. Would you rather they go to someone you know or post on an anonymous message board for advice or to vent?

One or the other please!

Willravel

I'd rather they went to whomever had clarity of mind.

highthief

Hmmm... good question.

If you go to someone you know, you get the benefit of their knowledge of you and the other person, but you also get any biases they have.

If you come to a message board, you get a more unbiased POV, but you also get a lot of people who can't manage their own lives, let alone anyone elses, chiming in with crap advice mixed in with the odd nugget of useful information.

How about a professional, be they psychologist, pastor, teacher, counselor, etc?

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squeeeb

why are they getting nowhere? are they not getting the answer they want? are you being stubborn and not listening? i would keep going at it, head to head, calmly and rationally, until things worked out, knowing that a compromise has to happen.

failing that, i would opt for the anonymous message board. if someone knows the person/people involved, there would be a prejudice, one way or the other, no matter how impartial they want to be....

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onward to mayhem!

Dtamr

What I usually do is go onto a public message board and bitch about the problem. Then I look at what I wrote, organize my thoughts and try to talk to the guy in a calm and diplomatic matter. I wouldnt post problems with people here, but somewhere else, more likely. This method usually works for me, but it seems to be less and less effective as of late, at least since I started working at my new job. Those guys are so pigheaded!

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Willravel

Well if they're wrong, then they can talk to whomever they want. It's not going to make them right. I would hope they'd speak to someone who would tell them to stop acting stupid.

Plan9

Confrontation. A lost art.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

TotalMILF

I think if you want advice on how to talk to him/her, then this is probably the right place. If you just want to vent, we'll listen. If you spill your guts we may or may not be able to provide good advice, but extra input never hurts, right?

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"I'm sorry, all I heard was blah blah blah, I'm a dirty tramp."

jewels

I agree. Any type of relationship that's going to succeed requires hashing it out.

If you feel you're "getting nowhere", change where you're coming from. Sometimes journaling it out for yourself may give you a new clarity and approach. Maybe there's some type of miscommunication and/or misunderstanding going on.

Just a thought. Good luck!

thebeat

I can't stand to have problems with people, i'm a big advicate of sitting down face to face and working out differences.

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random

pig

given the situation you mention, i'd prefer they go to the internet for ideas. not only is there bias in a mutual friend, but it also airs personal information that the person you're trying to deal with may want kept confidential. i don't mind people knowing that me and my girl argue about things, but sometimes i wouldn't want things i tell her in confidence to be disclosed to a friend without my foreknowledge.

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You don't love me, you just love my piggy style