Plan9

I'm not a religious guy, I don't do the fate thing... but I have to believe that there is a reason for everything in this world and that most of these things I encounter are tests to strengthen me as a person.

Situation:

It has been a year and a half since I've seen my exwife. Praise Allah. The she-devil lives 500 miles away; I have the best barrier available in distance. Zero communication. We don't talk. We don't email. We don't have any interaction with each other online in any fashion - period. I've done a good job of completely ignoring her psycho ass despite the occasional odd desire to torture myself with shit I can't change (emo-whine blah blah). This complete blackout has helped the healing process immensely, as may or may not be apparent given how much I had invested in her physically, emotionally, and especially financially. Mouth-fertilizing various college girls hasn't hurt, either.

Weakness:

She knows where I live, however, because I gave her my new apartment address in case any legal issues came up regarding shit that I didn't deal with because of universal excuse #1 aka "I-was-in-the-fucking desert-where-the-hell-were-you?" Address, yeah, I figured it would be a wise idea given how she "forgot" about various bills while I was sucking sand in A-stan and I came home to a minor collection agency nightmare regarding stuff that happened in our apartment before she moved into our house. So I put some industrial strength Prep H on my a-hole and told her she can always send snail mail if something crazy happens and it somehow involves my money / credit / name, but that was it. I specifically told her that we're not friends, not buddies, not strangers. We are black holes, we are fossils.

WTF Issue:

June 14th 2006 was the last time I saw her. I got a package in the mail from her today. No return address, but I felt the curved Sharpie writing on the front was familiar... like maybe I'd seen it in a really bad movie or a suicide note or something tragic.

The package contained blank stationery with a big *LETTER* on it in weird hippie script. She sent me fucking stationery... a measly 20 envelopes with my last initial on them along with a note:

...

Now, after my temper tantrum that involved words that would make George Carlin's sack shrivel... I started to breathe again and questions formed:

1: Why didn't she just throw away the 20 cents worth of mediocre stationery?
2: Why did she spend multiple dollars to mail the stationery out to me?
3: Why did she wait over a year to mail me stationery with "our" name on it?
4: Men don't use stationery. Maybe she thinks I'm homosexual despite all the illegal-in-48-states reamings I dispensed for two years?
5: Why do I think she just wanted to try to piss me off / open communication?

I'm banking on #5, myself. Passive aggressive bonkers crap. She thinks despite infidelity and and pretty much destroying my self concept of life that we can be friends. I don't play that shit. I refuse to cater to her insanity.

...

The bitter part of me feels like I should mail the crappy stationery back along with a cheap kitchen knife and the attached note:

"Thanks but I don't need the cheap stationery. Here's the knife you put in my back. Don't worry, I washed it."

A little too drama queen for me, really. I don't wanna pull a (insert name you all know here).

...

I will do nothing, of course. Zero response means zero encouragement. The package went immediately into the trash during my man-tantrum. My cat was not harmed during said outburst, but he was immensely amused at what I was doing with my pants at the time.

[so]If this happens again... I might need to involve lawyers or something.[/so]

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Punk.of.Ages

My first hunch on this situation is that she would send that package out of bitterness. Maybe she found the stationary digging through some old stuff, or maybe she's just been thinking about the past a lot lately.
Then again, she could just be trying to reconcile your differences and get back in touch with you. Though, if that were the case wouldn't she have put a return address? Hmmm... it's a girl so you never know.
I kinda know how it is, though. After damn near two years of no communication, besides divorce papers, my ex-wife has recently been getting back into contact with all of MY friends and family. She just calls them out of nowhere after two years. Weird shit.

__________________
"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

The_Jazz

Deep breath here, dude. You're off in the deep end of the pool, and you apparently forgot your floaties.

You're making some big ass assumptions here, the first and foremost of which is that she actually gives a rat's ass about you. Past performance has proven otherwise.

Here's what I think - she was cleaning, found some stationary that she will never ever use (hence the statistical comment) and figured you could use it. It doesn't matter that you'll use it to wipe your ass with or as tender to set fire to something. She tried to do a nice thing. She didn't give you a return address because she didn't want to get a bunch of shit-filled envelopes back in the mail.

You don't have any information to base anything on. All you can do is guess. One occurrence is not a pattern. If something else happens, report back, Sergant, and we'll figure out what the fuck it means then.

Now put your fucking pants back on and stop dancing around like the lunatic you are. Stop jumping to conclusions and find someone's bones to jump.

If there is a next time, remember that you need to inflate the blowup doll before jumping in the pool. BEFORE the pool, Crompsin.

__________________
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

telekinetic

Throw it away (like you did) and be done with it. Men with several hundred percent more information than you have in this situation have gone crazy attempting to discern women's motives.

One sentence and some blank paper after 18 months is not enough data for anyone to interpret, so don't even waste your time trying. If she provides you with a few more points, we'll get all Dr. Phil on her for ya. Until then, no need to get Jerry Springer.

__________________
twisted no more

ring

Womens will drive ya nuts if you let them.

I don't know you, or her, but I do have a crawly sense it is some kind of perhaps drunken spur of the moment passive aggressive.. reaching out..
punishing.. fuck with your head.. I still think about you... I hate you..I love you..the list is endless..

Go sing your favorite song in the shower an forget about it for a spell.

'" tests to strengthen you as a person"

You have passed so many of these already.

hang tough soldier.

I only know of you from what you have written on this forum,
your honesty and sincerity shows in every thing you say.

go hug your cat.

Willravel

What to do with it:

\end thread

Plan9

Awwh, Will... you bought me two-ply!

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Baraka_Guru

Crompsie, as you know, we've had similar experiences. (Though I would add that your case is far more hurtful than mine.) You know my thoughts are with you on this; keep strong.

I would think you have two options:

1. Simply throw it out and not think about the matter again.
2. Cut your last initial out of each sheet and send the stationery back to her.

Regardless, no matter what, don't think too much about it. I think you're right about number 5. And, yes, hug your cat.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

tooth

This is, and should continue to be, the only course of action to follow in these circumstances.

DO NOT write her back.

DO NOT call a lawyer.

DO continue to ignore her and avoid all contact.

abaya

Yup. Btw, Cromp... I like your latest kenning: man-tantrum.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Plan9

This thread was a man-tantrum.

I loathe lawyers (interesting story with this one), don't believe in wasting my money on postage, and would rather have a phone conversation with Charles Manson than her.

Consult post #6.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Shaindra

Stick with what works: No contact.

I'm the wrong one to ask about psycho-ex behavioral patterns but I think she did it without thinking it through as an unconscious,"hey, how ya doin'?" It was a feeble attempt at opening a line of communication as she may be regretting some of the shit that happened.

Or, she's just batshit.

Lastly, my advice on this? Forgive her. And forgive yourself for having been with her.

Willravel

The obvious term is man-trum. Comon, let's not lose sight of what's important here.

She has no business sending you anything. Give them a viking funeral and then hit okcupid.

Plan9

I refuse to take advice from elves!

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

dlish

send her an invite to your next wedding..if u ever have the appetite to go down that road...

otherwise id do what will say... wipe my ass with them.

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

cyklone

This is like a lure thrown out to a dumb fish. If you do anything with it other than ignore it she will reel you in to another round of bullshit.

sapiens

Shit! I use Clairefontaine stationery and a fountain pen. I had no idea I was gay. (Nor did I know that gay men weren't men). Thanks for the heads up!

/kidding...kind of...


Back on topic:

I appreciate willravel's suggestion regarding what to do with the stationery, but I think that cheap stationery might be a bit painful when used in such a fashion. Throwing the stationery away (as you did during your "man-trum") was probably the best course of action.

Willravel

Sapiens, you use stationary? I totally thought you were one of our male members.

Plan9

Watch out, Will. I think his real name is Patrick Bateman.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Willravel

"After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey/almond body cleanser, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub, then I apply an herb mint facial mask that I keep on for 10 minutes...."

Plan9

He keeps the nail gun in the desk drawer next to his stationery.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

analog

Burn it.

Don't communicate with her.

You know what this is.

Attached Images

ackbar.jpg (56.1 KB, 48 views)

Plan9

Wilford Brimley in the '80s?

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

tecoyah

Once a month...send her a single sheet of the stationary with one letter on it.

Seven months from now she will have your message.

F
U
C
K
O
F
F

__________________
Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

Shaindra

I also have a Troll Shaman...would that work better for ya? ;-)