Ami

Yeah, I'm new to this. I don't understand how there's more pictures of naked girls than guys on this site.
I need advice from guys and girls on what to do about trying to have a first relationship.i I'm in college now and want to change so much that I'm afraid that I guy won't fall for me if I don't. I'm kinda new to this game and not really sure how to play it. And it's ok, I'm just turned 19 last Fri and don't really understand how relationships work while in college.
Thanks

squeeeb

only change if you want to. if you are trying to be someone you are not, it will show and that is a turn off. if you are you, it will show and that will be attractive. it might not be attractive to the guy YOU WANT to attract, but then, if you have to be someone else, will you be that happy?

you are 19. i guarantee your tastes will change in the next few years. just enjoy yourself and have fun. and you are in college. worry about that. the relationships will come and go no matter what you do.

and to be crass, if it's just sex you want (some night, that might be all you want) you are a female. all you have to do is walk into a place and you will have your pick of men. might not be good ones, but there it is...

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onward to mayhem!

xxxafterglow

Have a good time, fumble around, make mistakes and learn. First-time relationships are like first-time sex, awkward! Be smart and make good decisions.

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Uh huh her.

Glory's Sun

In college, relationships revolve around drinking lots of alcohol and not giving a shit about what people think.

abaya

LOL, unless one went to an evangelical Christian college where alcohol, premarital sex, and telling people to "fuck off" was generally banned. I never used to think it mattered where I went to college, but apparently it did affect my experience profoundly...

That said, Ami, can you tell us a little more about yourself?... What are you feeling forced to change? And are you sure the guy is so great, if you have to be a different kind of person to be with him? Games are not cool... not at any age. What is your social scene like?

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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

telekinetic

Touch boys you like. Seriously. They'll get the picture. I'm not talking about groping their junk *(unless you REALLY want to expidite things), but just, touch their arm when you're excited and talking to them, lean your head on your shoulder if your pretending to be pouty or sad, give them hello and goodbye hugs, swat at them playfully, etc.

Nothing says "Hey, this chick seems to like me!" like physical contact.

xxxafterglow

Ah yes, college is also a great time to try out different relationships. It's hard to have anything terribly serious in the beginning b/c you are busy studying/partying/etc. But yeah, touch the boys you like, approach the really cute/sweet ones, don't let the dirty ones breathe beer stink on you and grope your tits and always carry a condom (AND make sure they put it on correctly). Try different personalities and see what fits.

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Uh huh her.

Hyacinthe

Are you changing for yourself or for a guy?

Is there a specific guy that you're trying to attract or just guys in general?

Depending on that the actions taken can be very very different.

I'm not sure anyone knows how relationships work at all so don't worry you're not alone in that aspect.

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"I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken... and the one that could brighten up your day even if she couldnt brighten her own"

"Her emotions were clear waters. You could see the scarring and pockmarks at the bottom of the pool, but it was just a part of her landscape – the consequences of others’ actions in which she claimed no part."

KirStang

Relax, have fun and *socialize.* You'll meet interested dudes in no time.

Chiyachan

Be yourself and be happy!
Changing yourself for other people is a really bad idea. It's impossible to change who you are, unless it's for something you truly want and believe in. It's just not worth all the lies.

LoganSnake

Don't change yourself for anybody. If they can't be with you as you are, move on. You're bound to find somebody who's a match for you. Unless you're looking for some one night stands, in that case make yourself available and leave little to imagination. Guys will flock.

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Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

skada

be careless .. do stupid things ... take risks and enjoy 'em...
how do you want to recall your college life after say 10 yrs ? boring or interesting and fun ?

I personally regret not taking risks and fear of acting stupid made my life less interesting at coll

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No Signature

Leto

I never heard of such a place! Does it exist?

snowy

You don't have to change your personality to find a relationship, just your habits. If you don't put yourself out there, you'll never find anyone.

I gave Prince some advice in another thread that applies here: http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showpos...15&postcount=7

Good luck.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

abaya

Well, I can't tell if you're joking, so I'll pretend this is a serious question. Yes it does exist, there are plenty of them across the US and in other countries as well. You might find a list of them at www.cccu.org (Council of Christian Colleges and Universities). I mean, they didn't literally ban us from telling people to "fuck off," but the campus environment was pretty love-your-neighbor-kumbaya, so being angry and explosive signaled that someone needed to be prayed for. We did sign contracts saying we would not drink and would not have premarital (or gay) sex. When you're that deep into it, though, you don't even need a contract... I mean, I was Sold Out for Jesus back then, so I wouldn't have touched booze or men anyway. But for some people, they just signed it and went on doing their boozing and fucking, since their parents made them attend that college anyway and they didn't feel any obligation to uphold the rules. No one actually "enforces" the contract, but socially, there were definitely consequences if word got out...

/sorry for the threadjack...

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

LazyBoy

You're problem is when you say you're wanting to change. You've gotta be happy with yourself before you can expect someone else to be.

Be yourself, if they don't like it, they're not worth it.

-Will

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Life is nothing, everything.....and something in between...

behindalens

Quoted for truth. This sums up about 80% of relationships. Honestly, most people don't know what the hell they're doing. The trick is to not let that affect you getting the things you want.

Ami

Thanks for all the resoponses! Actually I've wanted to change before moving off to college. There is a guy who's into me, but I'm not sure if I want to pursue it or not because the guy I actually like hasn't given me much attention. I saw him last night as we were both walking with other people and both sides just became errily quiet. I didn't realize it was him until after he looked down. Not a good sign I know, but I don't like making mistakes and very careful of what I do. I'm mostly an observer (watch listen and learn).

Hyacinthe

did he look down and then back up a bit later or did he look away completely as in turning his head - If he looked down then back up I don't know that you should give up hope yet. Quite often when I'm flirting I will meet the guys eyes then flick my eyes down and back up to his eyes or lips, I find I start to blush horribly if I meet a guys eyes for too long while thinking naughty thoughts about him.

As for changing if you want to change do so! Make a list of things you would like to change about yourself or who you want to be and then formulate plans to make that change. You want to loose weight? Ok join a gym change your diet. You want to meet people? Join some clubs, do some activities. Stuff like that.

I used to be a real observer myself happy to sit back and watch the social interaction of my peers, I still do actually. But living that way before you know it you've missed a whole heap of opportunities, if you never take the risk you'll never know if it would have suceeded.

The only difference between genius and insanity is sucess.

__________________
"I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken... and the one that could brighten up your day even if she couldnt brighten her own"

"Her emotions were clear waters. You could see the scarring and pockmarks at the bottom of the pool, but it was just a part of her landscape – the consequences of others’ actions in which she claimed no part."