Smoking Pole / Smoking Cigarettes
 

Okay... turns out it is blatantly obvious that I just got divorced and that I'm bitter. Yeah, that much is easily apparent in just about every post I land.

My divorce adventure gets better every day! Here's a funny / weird thing:

She was screwing around on me while I was in Afghanistan, right? Okay. No problem. I can figure that math out with one hand. (jerk-jerk) One of our old mutual friends also just informed me she had picked up cigarettes again.

Now THAT pissed me off.

WTF? Why would I care about that? I mean... I'm a health nut, but still! Its been over a year now. New things randomly come up and piss me off.

I can't quite figure out why cigarettes matter more to me than infidelity.

...

Anybody else have a weird story like that?

I dated this gorgeous filipino in high school and we got really serious. I had to move and after a while things started to break down. Neeways, cut to a few months later and I get the dear john call. She was starting to give into temptation and wanted to do the right thing. In retrospect, she did the right thing. Funny thing is, since then she's cut almost all ties to her friends that aren't filipino. It should bother me, but I can't help but feel like I was being dated because the color of my skin was interesting.

HONKY.

Bingo.

...you ever get the feeling you're trying to hurt someone with words even though its not really possible?

Not anymore, but I get what you're saying.

My new advice? Get married to a perfect stranger.

It beats getting married to someone you THINK you know.

(high five)

Well... Not that it's any consolation... But the trick is to marry someone, and then keep them a stranger. And then spend the rest of your life finding out about them.

Not that that's any consolation...

Now you know how minorities feel. This happens to us all the time. It's good that you were able to "walk a mile in another man's shoes" as it were.

Also, just because she cut ties with all her non-Filipino friends does not necessarily mean that she was dating you just because you were a novelty or token white dude. She may have been generally interested with you at the time. Don't forget however, you guys were in high school. That's a typical age of exploration. Naturally as people mature, they develop interest in exploring their own roots. Maybe she outgrew you and discovered that you guys don't really have anything in common, especially culturally. If rediscovering her roots was important to her, then naturally you would drift apart unless you decided to take an active interest in her culture (and most of the time, white dudes don't give a shit about minority culture other than for the exoticism or novelty - not saying you by the way, but in general).

I'm sorry I don't have more to offer, but I had to drop in and note that the word "honky" makes me laugh like an idiot every time I see it, hear it, or am otherwise exposed to it.

Crompsin, bro... I kind of understand. Maybe you're already used to the fidelity idea, so this new info is just another burn she served you. Loves a bitch! Even when it's over it can suck balls!

I have an amateur couch psychologist theory why the smoking is pissing you off more than the infidelity: because one is cheating, but within the realm of knowledge you had about her, or a possibility. But smoking... sort of indicates that you didn't know her nearly as well as you think you did. And that's more disturbing than a person cheating (lots of people cheat at some point, and lots don't, but you get my point.)

Let's hear it for amateur shrink night! :D

Thanks, Jess.

That actually made a lot of sense.