Shauk

I dunno, maybe I'm not 100% in thinking things through, but outcome be damned.


Basically I've been fairly unhappy with my lifestyle, I eat too much, I settle for entry level jobs and aspire for nothing more, I squander ALL of my free time, every last drop of it, playing video games and waiting for my bedtime. I'm out of shape, and I don't even get along with my friends because they embody everything about me that makes me unhappy, they do the same thing with thier lives.

so with an angel of "Office Space" on one sholder, and "Fight Club" on the other, I just walked out of my job, today I woke up and decided, i'm just going to drive 450 some miles away to Seattle and start over where I don't know anyone, free of my physical comfort zone and housing. Just me, my car, and a pen to start jamming out resume's/applications and a sob story about how bad I want out of Idaho.


so, to anyone else who's had this kind of self destructive revamp, any advice?

I've got about 100$ left, i'm going to be eating dirt for the next week on that kinda budget with the gas prices being what they are, I'll probably start in some food service/tip oriented job to get food in my stomach to start.

ah well. i'm leaving at 3pm, its 8am now. I caught wind of a job fair in seattle tomorrow and I plan on being there.

yay for being so fed up with your life that you make huge crazy changes.

Cynthetiq

You can't run from yourself, where ever you are, there you are.

A couple things I caught in your post...

maybe the rest of the "rules" can shed some light on your path...

The 10 Rules of Being Human

good luck.

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Shauk

and I suppose the need to elaborate on my situation arises when my 1st response is pretty much an attack on my character. If I'm overreacting to the "you can't run from yourself" crap its because it's been thrown at me by people who have no room to talk in the past. I think I have a very very valid basis to get the hell out of here in such a chaotic manner.


if someone wants to explain to me why a rural town with little room for personal growth or culture is better than Seattle, by all means, fill me in.

if someone wants to tell me why killing 2 birds with one stone and getting away from my 4 depressive roomates would be a bad thing, by all means, fill me in.



Heres my typical day.
Wake up
bathroom routine
come downstairs out of my room. get some water.
everyone else is asleep because all of my roommates play WoW, the MMO addiction keeping them up until around 7am each day until they pass out from thier fantasy dopamine.
I get the entire morning to look around my silent apartment (in which, i'm not even on the lease) and see the remaining soda cans, pizza boxes, empty beer bottles, piles of dishes (that I never use) garbage overflowing (from a can I also don't use) the kitchen is a certifiable health hazard.
meanwhile my actual "room" is the living room, though, my bed is upstairs with the other beds.
I come down and do my normal activity, check email, my little social interactions and such.
I am expected to remain quiet while my roomates sleep until 3pm or so.
I won't go to school here because of reasons i'm not really going to get into right now, lets just say the school isn't exactly on the up and up.
now with the whole "misery loves company" philosophy, my roomates are constantly trying to get me to play WoW or other games with them and I want none of it, I want out of here. MMO's are a psychological addiction (not for everyone, but for the people I live with, it very much is) and its like watching several chain smoking old ladies waddle down the stairs at 3pm and plug in thier money cards into the slot machines, only its a video game instead of a gambling game. 1 of them doesn't even work, completely depressive, will do nothing but bitch about his life for the entire duration of any non-gaming conversation I have to suffer through with him.

this, is the day, sunup to sundown, of the same actions over and over. throw in the small bits where people have to go to thier part time jobs (which they can afford because they have so many people living in this little apartment and all)

now, I could just stay "local" but I know I still wouldn't be happy because my schooling options do not exist in bum fuck northern Idaho, in fact, I've not met one person here in my attempts to go out and make new friends who I can seem to stand. Again, no offense, but I don't fucking belong in some rural town in North Idaho.

sorry for the rant, I tried to keep it brief and vague for a reason.

rule 6 is a defeatist "settle for what you have" approach, and that my friend, that isn't going to make me happy, ever. Besides who is "Cherie Carter-Scott" to tell me how to live? I'll tell you who she is, she's someone who didn't settle for rule number 6 until after she went and got a PhD and did something with her life, thats who.

all that aside, thanks for the "good luck" i'll need it.

The_Jazz

Shauk, I don't see any sort of attack on your character here. Cyn's just pointing out that whatever personal issues you have don't go away when you move. If you're an alcoholic in Maine, you'll be one in California in other words.

That said, I've done exactly what you did with good results. I moved out of California 12 years ago with no job and no place to live in a van with all my stuff and a map to Chicago riding shotgun.

There's no reason that you shouldn't move in search of better opportunities.

__________________
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

Cynthetiq

my post is not an attack on your character, you choose to read it that way.

you also choose to read rule 6 as defeatist. I don't settle for anything in my life, but I understand that pulling a "geographic" has never solved anything in my life. I've moved plenty in my life for the same reasons you've mentioned. As I moved I carried that same baggage around with me where ever I wound up. I had to learn to get rid of that baggage in some manner. Some of it was accepting that the baggage exists and will always be there, examples of those are things I cannot do anything about such as my heritage, upbringing, past deeds, past wasted opportunities. Some I just put down because they were absurd to carry, such as expecting that I will marry and have children. It was something that took me years to realize that I only wanted the marry part.

In ADDITION to the geographic change, I had to alter the rest of the package. Otherwise, same results would happen that happened everywhere else I lived.

You've hit the nail on the head with "same actions over and over."

again, I wish you the best on the journey, because it is what it is. (double entendre intentional.)

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Shauk

right, like I said I may be overreacting. I don't like to deal with adversity in the face of my real effort to do something to change.

but, that said, "personal issues" that I have, I dunno, I don't drink/smoke/do drugs or anything of a physically addictive nature, I quit cold turkey on the whole gaming thing and deleted it all off of my computer so I'd actually get something done. Have been taking tons of career assessment/self examination tests on top of my own personal reflection to figure out my new direction in life.

all signs say GTFO of N. Idaho.

Cynthetiq

Thanks Jazz for that clarification.

opportunities.. yes that was key. I had to allow myself to be where I was more open to opportunities that I wanted and wanted me. For you it may be Seattle. I left California 16 years ago, and I never thought I would be in NY longer than a couple of years, yet here I still am.

each opportunity opened yet another door, to give me yet another opportunity, thus the job I thought would only be a stepping stone for a year or two, lead me to meeting my wife and many good friends, and I stayed there for 11 years. Who knew. But yes, it gave me the opportunity to flourish where I was never able to flourish before.

again, I wish you luck.

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

The_Jazz

Then GTFO already. You don't need our permission. Make up your mind and do it.

www.uhaul.com

or 1-800-GO-UHAUL

__________________
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

Shauk

uh... I am?

did you miss that part? hahaha.

squeeeb

shauk - i say "rock on" and good luck. i tend to have a bit of a destructive nature to my life, i shake things up when things go well. i don't know why seattle, but other than that, a total immersion complete change will work out, one way or another. here is the thing: is it what you want to do? will doing it make you happy you did it? if you answer yes, then no matter what happens, you will have an adventure and you won't sit around wondering "what if i had just up and left."

you can't hit a homerun if you don't swing. good luck....

__________________
onward to mayhem!

Jinn

Shauk, don't let Cyn's "advice" get to you. He pulled the same ish on me, quoting from something about "if you see it, you have it." Just because it works for him doesn't mean that canned advice about who we are from some list about "being human" will work for us. I read it as a personal attack too, and it wasn't even directed at me!

That said, Idaho blows. And Seattle is pretty rockin'.

I think you're doing it for an"Idaho and my roommates suck" reason and not a "I need to escape my devils" reason, so I'm all for it. Let us know how it goes.

__________________
"I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel

lurkette

Sorry, gotta agree with Cyn here, not just because he's smart and I respect him, but from personal experience.

A radical change like getting the fuck out of Idaho might work some temporary magic, and I applaud your courage for making a change. But until you've addressed the underlying issues that make your life monotonous and mediocre (as you've described it), what makes you think that you're not just going to settle into the same routine eventually? Picking up and moving was just a bandaid. A ballsy bandaid, but a bandaid nonetheless. I think that's the point of rule #6. We might think a change in job or scenery or partner or whatever is going to make the difference that makes us happy, but until you learn to be happy wherever you are, you're never going to truly leave behind whatever it is that's dogging you. That doesn't mean settle for what you can get - quite the opposite. It means accept where you are, see that it's okay, and then choose something else. As long as you're running from something, it's got complete power over your life and it's always going to catch up with you.

I hope this radical change gets you what you want; but unless you make a conscious effort to really change your own behavior and outlook, it's only a matter of time before you end up with Same Shit Different Day. So what are you going to do to be sure that you don't end up taking shitty jobs, having friends who are just the same as you, and wasting your time playing video games in Seattle instead of Idaho?

__________________
"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France

ShaniFaye

Shauk, I did that when I was 19, not "exactly" like you did because I had a grandmother where I went to, but I woke up one morning and just "left". Moved out of state with 200 bucks in my checking account and no job....just the need to get away from the crap that had become the everyday norm, I understand the mentality behind it...I wasnt "running" from anything, I was trying to get "to" something.

I wish you the best of luck and hope you can find an internet cafe or something to let us know how you're doing?

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Willravel

Necessity is the mother of invention. You're bright and able. You'll do fine so long as you work hard....and in learning to work hard in one facet of your life you can learn to work hard in other areas of your life, be it working to improve your health, working to build a strong and healthy group of friends, or working to earn a better wage or have a more fulfilling vocation. Many people have it inside them to evolve through perseverance. You can put the persever(e) in perseverance.

If you need any advice, there are plenty of people here who are happy to help, myself included.

Shauk

I'm not running from anything really except a dead end environment. To address lurkette, the things I enjoy, concerts, art, music, culture, diversity, are not found in north Idaho. I spent an entire week in Seattle once and didn't even feel the urge to touch a computer much less take the time to sit down and play a video game, I hung out in record stores, found clubs and raves and parks where people were playing music, saw things that you'd NEVER see up here, the architecture was pleasing to the eyes, theres numerous schooling options as opposed to the single college here, and I dunno, I was never at a loss for things to do, unlike where I live, theres like.. a lake, and one hill down here, stores that are catered to tourist and retirement canidates, I dunno.

as far as where I'll be staying, *shrug*
it's summer time, I'll manage.

NoSoup

Well, regardless of what you decide, good luck to you.

I admire your ability to leave everything behind in search of a happier life, but - I am a little concerned that you have only $100.00. That isn't going to get you very far. Perhaps you should consider saving up a bit more before you leave?

If you're planning on living there permanently, you're pretty much certain at this point that you won't be able to afford anywhere to live for at least a couple of weeks, with most apartments typically requiring a security deposit and first month's rent at a minimum. Even if you go out there and find a job immediately, it'll still be weeks before you have enough cash to really settle down - not to mention everyday costs such as Gas, food, etc....

__________________
I have an aura of reliability and good judgement.

Just in case you were wondering...

Shauk

yeah i dont have a job or anything now as it is so theres no point in looking for work here if I can just go 450 miles west and get a job there instead.

Cynthetiq

http://www.couchsurfing.com/

maybe you can meet some new people and have a place to stay. I've met a few people via that site.

good luck!

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Shauk

lol, wow... just.. wow.

thats amazing.

kurty[B]

Shauk, good luck. My life has been filled with less drastic measure of what you are doing/planning.

I left a house that sounds very similar to your current living situation with no money for a downpayment on a new apartment. The back of my car and couches were my home for two months before I snagged a tiny hole in the wall apartment by myself. That was the best decision I ever made in my life. Taught me that I could get by by myself, and that I was much happier living on my own. If you had not already made the decision to go to Seattle, I would say take smaller steps and find a place where you can live on your own without roommates (it is a great thing), but I also picked up a peddle bike last year with the resolve that by the time I made it to Vancouver I was going to be working a new job and have a new life in a town I biked through on the way. Which is exactly what happened. Best experience of my life.

Whatever happens, if you're not happy, don't settle.

Shauk

yeah, I lived on my own before actually, it didn't mean I was any happier, I was still here.

anyways, I'm still filling out the couchsurfing site thing, that site is great, a genius idea, thank you so much. We'll see how that comes in handy for me or not

ItWasMe

I don't have much advice to offer that hasn't already been given by others. A big jar of peanut butter, bread, and a bag of apples/oranges/bananas (whichever is on sale) might be handy on your drive. They keep well and don't require a refrigerator. And take a couple of rolls of toilet paper. Oh, gawd I sound like a mother. Oh, wait, I am!

Please keep up updated on your adventures. Internet cafes and libraries may help you stay connected until you are situated. Maybe you could look up a few of those on your computer before you head out to your new life. Best of luck to you.

btw: In Washington, many rest stops have groups that provide cookies, muffins, and coffee. Especially on the I-5 route. I have not seen them in Oregon, but I don't usually have to stop at many rest stops here.

__________________
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .


"Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez

I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe

embo

Shauk, you have something that not many people have, and you should cherish it like the very air you breathe. I'm talking about true freedom.

To me, the idea of packing up everything I own and bolting for parts unknown is utterly unfathomable. I have a job, a house, two beautiful children, and a woman that I love with my entire soul. I don't have what you'd truly call "freedom". I have many things that I am responsible for, and that I need to hold up my end of the responsibility bargain for. Any decision I make will directly affect no less than 4 people, and will indirectly affect many more. There is no decision that I make in the morning and execute that afternoon that has any greater weight than, "What should we have for dinner?"

You have none of these constraints. You can go an explore the world (albeit on a small budget, and that's less of a constraint than you think). But you don't have to answer to anyone but yourself. You don't have to worry about ANY of it. That, my friend, is true freedom, and while you might not realize it, that is something very unique that you probably don't even grasp how precious it is at this point in your life.

I'm not saying my life is bad. Quite the opposite. I am very happy where I am, and with the decisions I've made in my life. But that is the trade off between true freedom, and chosen bondage to various things in life that require commitment.

You need to start to comprehend the endless freedom and opportunity you have in front of you right now, because if you're like most people, the day will come when you have none of it, and while you won't be unhappy, you'll most certainly have those days when you'll look back and realize how foolish you were to not realize the amazing things you COULD have done if you had only realized how open your life was to doing pretty much anything you wanted.

Embrace your freedom. Go follow your life.

Shauk

oh, I had all those trappings embo, aside from the kids. They all slipped away so I'm embracing the chaos. Call it freedom, call it chaos, but whatever its name, its 3pm, and time for me to depart.


later

abaya

Dude, I am a big fan of urging these kinds of life-changing events. As long as you stay safe and don't hurt anyone or yourself, you'll be fine. Life is too damn short to be stuck in one place if you're not happy there.

Not to mention, Seattle is a friggin' great place to live, period. I miss it a lot.

So, just a big fat from me, that's all. Let us know how it goes, when you get internet access or something...

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Ch'i

Do not lament on parting from any road whatsoever. If you want a change, then change. Its completely natural.

Charlatan

I think as long as you are running to something and not from something... it is good.

You don't need a plan. You don't need a job. Drive west and see what happens. There are very few times in your life when you will be able to make such a radical change with out seriously disrupting your life.

Go for it... but to take what Cyn says to heart. If the problem is you then you are still going to be there when you get to Seattle. It doesn't mean you shouldn't make the trip it means that you might find even with the move you still have some of the same issues... just be ready for it if it happens. Recognize it for what it is and make the necessary changes.

Good luck.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Sultana

As long as you don't again *settle* for this. Which is basically what you already have right now (or a week ago), right?


Like Char says, if you're running to something, rather than away, then huzzah for you!

__________________
"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.

Crack

Reminds me of when I was 9 and wanted to run off to be in the circus. I still wanna go. You sir are a braver man than I.

__________________
Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex.

~Halx

Shauk

yeah so, I drove out there, and then drove all the way back.

interesting story.


I wound up picking up one of my buddies from here in idaho who wanted to go to seattle with me

so we went, hung around downtown at about 5th and marion at about 9pm in front of the bank of america tower being total tourists. (i need to learn to friggin parallel park)

anyways, My ex wound up calling me as I was crossing thru Spokane and it was arranged for me and my friend to crash in her living room in Renton as long as we picked her up from work so she didn't have to take the bus or whatever.

cool, turns out she wanted to hit up that job fair too.

fun times, so I crash on the living room couch and my buddy gets the floor and we're both allergic to cats so yech, I wind up waking up at 630 am and saying "meh, screw it" and just start getting ready.

shower and cleaned up and all that and then we all head off to the fair.

Seattle appears to have a huge boner for drivers, I have 3 1/2 years of driving experience so they loved that, some security company just stopped me at their table and tried to offer me the job without me even filling out an application 1st, I guess 6'6" dudes fit the bill or something. all in all I got about 12 job apps lined up/filled out at the fair, which wasn't as many as I was hoping for for a 5 hour job fair, but it still made me feel like people were very competitive about thier hiring. I didn't see anything that started for less than 11$ an hour except the Domino's booth (hahaha, thats where my 3 1/2 years of driving experience is) I was kinda wise to the recruitment lingo of the driving types so when Domino's tried to sweet talk me with their "15$ an hour as a driver" pitch, I looked him right in the eye and was just thinking "don't even try to bullshit me" turns out, WA min wage + tips like I thought.

Still better than here though eh?

anyways, I have some phone calls to make before I head back out there, but a lot of people seemed fairly taken aback/impressed when I told them my story of how I came to be at that job fair. One guy instantly took his application back, wrote a big old giant "YES" at the top of the application and says "This means if you get the app back to us, we'll hire you, we mark this for the interviewers" needless to say I filled it out 1st. (started at 15.50/hr too)

a lot of people balked at the thought of a phone interview at 1st, but when I explained things to them, again, they seemed fairly eager to help me succeed in my crazy quest of starting over.


now, i'm back for 2 reasons. Last minute, my friend decided to come with me, pitched in half the costs so I can probably make the trip twice on the same budget, and, one of the companies (a security company) that wanted me to work for them right then and there went so far as to let me know about the local office out where I live, gave me a phone number and told me who to talk to, so I can get hired here, and do a much more clean method of breaking into seattle by just doing a job transfer.

now, I don't count my chickens before they hatch, but i gotta say, I'm impressed with the eggs so far.

I think this is gonna happen, it wasn't so hard, I just had to reach out and try. I'm glad I did.

I'll know where all the chips fall by the end of the month. I'm still paid up here until then. I'm going to be scrambling for work locally for now, not quite as "gung ho" as plan A was, but if I get a call from someone and have a successful phone interview and a start date, i'm outta here.

Cynthetiq

eggsellent!!!!

keep up the momentum an keep your eye on the prize not the price.

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Willravel

Sounds like you're about ready for a welcome to the West Coast. Congrats on everything going well.

Jetée

'Welcome Back'!


Glad to hear that things went smoothly, and I wish you all the best in your endeavors to forge a new path for a better tomorrow.

Just don't lose sight of why you wanted this so badly in the first place.

__________________
As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves.

—Mohandas K. Gandhi

MexicanOnABike

cool motivation story! makes me want to quit and take off too. bleh.

__________________

- Movie Reviews - Ratings-

kurty[B]

If more people realized this we would not have so many people complaining about their life situations.

Congratulations!

Shauk

so i just had to shut my card down for unauthorized charges coming out of longview WA as of this morning. I still have my card on me, but somehow someone decided that they could use my numbers to pay for thier phone calls apparently. Not like I had much money to begin with, but now its ALL gone.

Jinn

Who is your CC provider? Most, if not all, have support for fraud under certain limits, and will often refund the amount.

__________________
"I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel

Shauk

yeh, called em right after the post, it was my debit card, not credit.

anyways they refunded the account, cancelled the card and are issuing a new one for me. but until then, i'm pretty much locked out of my account for the time being. guess Ill be eating ramen this week ;p

kurty[B]

I hate to admit I've done this before, but see if there are any churches that offer boxes of food. In my old town there were certain days of the week you could show up at a church and get a box of perishable goods that would last about a week anyway. They worked it where I just filled out my info, and they gave me a box of food. Worked out well, and just had to put up with a flier in the mail every once in a while. If you're moving anyway it's not a bad idea if you want something other than Ramen.

Shauk

ugh, I have to get out of this place. My roomates are being complete jerks ever since they learned I want to leave this depressive cesspool. I haven't even been remotely unkind to them and its like they group up and go out at my exclusion.

They all know that I have no funds on me and am tight on money and yet bail to go take advantage of the cooking of his mother for some free food.

I was quite direct in asking him why I wasn't invited since we always used to do stuff together and we've been buds for 6 years.

i've gotten nothing but runaround answers.

anyways, due to my financial shutdown, I called up my previous manager and explained the card fiasco and how i'm kinda in need of cashflow assistance, and I guess I can start work tomorrow Something to hold it all together in the meantime while I make my phone calls/apps