The challenges of physical interaction as a person "of stature" - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Suave · 04-23-2007, 12:21 AM

So I've come to the conclusion that, as a man who is likely more than one standard deviation taller than the mean height of North American men, hugging me can be slightly awkward for some of the shorter members of the opposite sex (not that I won't hug men, but I digress). Has anyone here developed any exciting new techniques in the field of hugging that would make it seem less like people are hugging a tree, and more like they're hugging another person?

JustJess · 04-23-2007, 02:57 AM

With my short friends (I'm a 5'8" woman), I am a bit silly... I'll bend over so we're more even to hug them, and just stand up straight still holding them. They're usually a bit startled... but the 15 yr old in me is amused.

Most of my solutions aren't, really... just bending a bit, or finding times other than when you're standing, i.e. you're sitting and they're not, etc. Otherwise, I think you're just screwed. As for a hugging "technique"... the only bad thing I've ever noticed about hugging the rare person who is that much bigger than me, is that they sometimes sort of squish me into their side and it's a bit like hugging a rock. Try to make yourself more pliable, soft... hugs should be comfortable!

braisler · 04-23-2007, 03:35 AM

My wife and I (I'm 6'4", she's 5'6") take the chance to hug when we are going down a staircase. She'll stop on the last step, and I'll take the last step down putting us on somewhat more equal footing.

Other than that, enjoy your differences. There are probably more benefits to being tall than detriments. Focus on those!

LazyBoy · 04-23-2007, 08:11 AM

I've began to just give a casual lean to one side, and use one arm....

-Will

Suave · 04-23-2007, 08:24 AM

All good feedback, thank ya!

I suppose I could also just start hanging out with taller women.

Jinn · 04-23-2007, 09:59 AM

I'm 6'6".

I had a girlfriend who was 5'1" and we never had a problem hugging. Other things were awkward, but not hugging.

I'm trying to think of what it is.. I think I just bend down quite a bit, enough so that their hands can go over my shoulders.

And man do I love hugging.

I'll let you know what it is that I do the next time I hug someone... hard to envision.

Willravel · 04-23-2007, 10:11 AM

When I was in middleschool and was over a foot taller than all my friends, I'd pat them on the head in an almost condescending manner. I thought it was pretty funny. So you can always pat people on the head.

Suave · 04-23-2007, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JinnKai

I'm 6'6".

I had a girlfriend who was 5'1" and we never had a problem hugging. Other things were awkward, but not hugging.

I'm trying to think of what it is.. I think I just bend down quite a bit, enough so that their hands can go over my shoulders.

And man do I love hugging.

I'll let you know what it is that I do the next time I hug someone... hard to envision.

That'd be great!

will: haha I'm a big fan of condescending pats on the head as well, but they just can't replace the hug sometimes.

Willravel · 04-23-2007, 11:17 AM

I also like to pick people up when I hug them. Unless you think you'll squeeze them too much.

ngdawg · 04-23-2007, 11:50 AM

Personally, I give leghugs to really tall guys. If I know them. And I'm happy to see them. (Buddah! You're overdue for another one!)
I'm 5'8", so taller people aren't a big problem. You could just scoop'em up, inviting the leghug

jth · 04-23-2007, 12:39 PM

Yeah it's not easy. I'm tall and big around and it makes for interesting hugging. Of course no one hugs me anyway

*cries in a corner*

Suave · 04-23-2007, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willravel

I also like to pick people up when I hug them. Unless you think you'll squeeze them too much.

Also a good time, as long as they don't hate being picked up.

JustJess · 04-24-2007, 04:11 AM

^^ If you're that big, who cares? What are they going to do to you?

At least... that was always my theory... but hey, no one hits a girl for picking them up, I guess.

genuinegirly · 04-24-2007, 06:15 AM

I like hugging tall people. I don't think it's awkward for the other person unless you feel odd hugging them. If you're comfortable, they'll be comfortable. Just practice. Hug people. It's healthy.

jth- I'd hug you!

Suave · 04-24-2007, 09:02 AM

I try to hug often and well. I've only had one person mention anything (I don't find it awkward at all).

Toaster126 · 04-25-2007, 02:53 PM

Just bend a little bit, and they will stretch out to meet you. An ex-gf of mine that was 5'2" took every oppourtunity to catch me at the bottom of stairs or while she was standing on a bed. That's fun too.

Jinn · 04-25-2007, 05:26 PM

I think it's turning your head. A lot of awkward tall people try to hug with their face looking forward, but I think that turning my head to the side helps me to get a lot lower (and more consistent hugging).

04-23-2007, 12:21 AM	#1 (permalink)
Suave Twitterpated Location: My own little world (also Canada)	The challenges of physical interaction as a person "of stature" So I've come to the conclusion that, as a man who is likely more than one standard deviation taller than the mean height of North American men, hugging me can be slightly awkward for some of the shorter members of the opposite sex (not that I won't hug men, but I digress). Has anyone here developed any exciting new techniques in the field of hugging that would make it seem less like people are hugging a tree, and more like they're hugging another person? __________________ "Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions." - Albert Einstein "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." - Plato

04-23-2007, 02:57 AM	#2 (permalink)
JustJess Unencapsulated Location: Kittyville	With my short friends (I'm a 5'8" woman), I am a bit silly... I'll bend over so we're more even to hug them, and just stand up straight still holding them. They're usually a bit startled... but the 15 yr old in me is amused. Most of my solutions aren't, really... just bending a bit, or finding times other than when you're standing, i.e. you're sitting and they're not, etc. Otherwise, I think you're just screwed. As for a hugging "technique"... the only bad thing I've ever noticed about hugging the rare person who is that much bigger than me, is that they sometimes sort of squish me into their side and it's a bit like hugging a rock. Try to make yourself more pliable, soft... hugs should be comfortable! __________________ My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

04-23-2007, 03:35 AM	#3 (permalink)
braisler Addict Location: Midway, KY	My wife and I (I'm 6'4", she's 5'6") take the chance to hug when we are going down a staircase. She'll stop on the last step, and I'll take the last step down putting us on somewhat more equal footing. Other than that, enjoy your differences. There are probably more benefits to being tall than detriments. Focus on those! __________________ --- You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother. - Albert Einstein ---

04-23-2007, 08:11 AM	#4 (permalink)
LazyBoy Insane Location: Memphis Area	I've began to just give a casual lean to one side, and use one arm.... -Will __________________ Life is nothing, everything.....and something in between...

04-23-2007, 08:24 AM	#5 (permalink)
Suave Twitterpated Location: My own little world (also Canada)	All good feedback, thank ya! I suppose I could also just start hanging out with taller women. __________________ "Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions." - Albert Einstein "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." - Plato

04-23-2007, 09:59 AM	#6 (permalink)
Jinn Lover - Protector - Teacher Location: Seattle, WA	I'm 6'6". I had a girlfriend who was 5'1" and we never had a problem hugging. Other things were awkward, but not hugging. I'm trying to think of what it is.. I think I just bend down quite a bit, enough so that their hands can go over my shoulders. And man do I love hugging. I'll let you know what it is that I do the next time I hug someone... hard to envision. __________________ "I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel

04-23-2007, 10:11 AM	#7 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	When I was in middleschool and was over a foot taller than all my friends, I'd pat them on the head in an almost condescending manner. I thought it was pretty funny. So you can always pat people on the head.

04-23-2007, 11:17 AM	#9 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	I also like to pick people up when I hug them. Unless you think you'll squeeze them too much.

04-23-2007, 11:50 AM	#10 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	Personally, I give leghugs to really tall guys. If I know them. And I'm happy to see them. (Buddah! You're overdue for another one!) I'm 5'8", so taller people aren't a big problem. You could just scoop'em up, inviting the leghug __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

04-23-2007, 12:39 PM	#11 (permalink)
jth Insane Location: HRM	Yeah it's not easy. I'm tall and big around and it makes for interesting hugging. Of course no one hugs me anyway cries in a corner __________________ "A real leader faces the music, even if he doesn't like the tune." - unknown quote

04-24-2007, 04:11 AM	#13 (permalink)
JustJess Unencapsulated Location: Kittyville	^^ If you're that big, who cares? What are they going to do to you? At least... that was always my theory... but hey, no one hits a girl for picking them up, I guess. __________________ My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

04-24-2007, 06:15 AM	#14 (permalink)
genuinegirly Eat your vegetables Super Moderator Location: Arabidopsis-ville	I like hugging tall people. I don't think it's awkward for the other person unless you feel odd hugging them. If you're comfortable, they'll be comfortable. Just practice. Hug people. It's healthy. jth- I'd hug you! __________________ "Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

04-24-2007, 09:02 AM	#15 (permalink)
Suave Twitterpated Location: My own little world (also Canada)	I try to hug often and well. I've only had one person mention anything (I don't find it awkward at all). __________________ "Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions." - Albert Einstein "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." - Plato

04-25-2007, 02:53 PM	#16 (permalink)
Toaster126 Extreme moderation Location: Kansas City, yo.	Just bend a little bit, and they will stretch out to meet you. An ex-gf of mine that was 5'2" took every oppourtunity to catch me at the bottom of stairs or while she was standing on a bed. That's fun too. __________________ "The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand) "The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

04-25-2007, 05:26 PM	#17 (permalink)
Jinn Lover - Protector - Teacher Location: Seattle, WA	I think it's turning your head. A lot of awkward tall people try to hug with their face looking forward, but I think that turning my head to the side helps me to get a lot lower (and more consistent hugging). __________________ "I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel