How do you calm your nerves? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Miss Mango · 02-09-2007, 05:10 AM

Im just curious, anyone who has any anxiety or gets nervous to a large degree - how do you go about calming your nerves? Or do you just wait for it to pass?

soma · 02-09-2007, 05:36 AM

Quote:

Or do you just wait for it to pass?

I try to busy myself with other things, and just let it pass.

Most recently, I broke off a friendship with a really awful person. Through it all, it felt like my world was falling apart. I thought that people wouldn't like me and that my other friends would leave me, but after about two weeks, everything seemed to work out. In short, I was overreacting.

I don't know if this is the same type of anxiety as yours, but if it is, imho, it's best to try to worry about more important things and move on.

Best of luck.

serlindsipity · 02-09-2007, 07:12 AM

I get anxiety when I'm alone to long, so forcing myself out of my house to visit a friend usually fixes it. Otherwise, I go bike ride or borrow a friends dog for an hour and that will do that trick.

hagatha · 02-09-2007, 07:38 AM

I find talking to someone, in person, immensely useful. i am lucky to live with my best friend and she's always there for me. If she's not around, I exercise. I find going outside for a walk really gives perspective, it clears the mind and just moving keeps you from being in a prolonged, agitated state.

Daval · 02-09-2007, 07:50 AM

If I need stress relief I like to get underwater. I am a scuba diver so even if its just to the pool I can float weightless in complete silence and then just zen out. I love doing that. Even better if you are in open water and can look at fish or something.

highthief · 02-09-2007, 07:58 AM

Alcohol, for the most part.

Jinn · 02-09-2007, 08:05 AM

Through logical processing of my emotions. I know some people think it's impossible, but I find it rather easy. I wage a logic war with my emotion, debunking any irrational fear with the best argument I can come up with.

I usually win.

That said, there are times when you should be legitimately anxious. Assuming you're not overreacting, anxiety is our body's signal to be more alert, more observant. If you're anxious because a stranger is following you, that isn't one of the times you should 'calm your nerves.'

The most common anxiety-producers are speech-making and direct conversation with other people. In those cases, practice convincing yourself the reality of the situation, rather than what you believe is happening.

vanblah · 02-09-2007, 08:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Mango

Im just curious, anyone who has any anxiety or gets nervous to a large degree - how do you go about calming your nerves? Or do you just wait for it to pass?

It really depends on what is making me nervous or anxious. Can you be more specific?
Identify what is causing the stress and either eliminate it or come to terms with it. Coming to terms with it can be a challenge, especially if it's irrational.

Jinnkai's point is a pretty good one. Just remember that it won't happen immediately, it takes a while to be able to control your emotions, especially if they are irrational. And you're never really in total control of them no matter how hard you try. Sometimes, they sneak up on you. Also, not all anxiety is emotional or irrational. His point about a stranger following you is good ... being nervous in that situation is a very rational, non-emotional reaction to a source of stress. However, if you are ALWAYS nervous when someone is behind you then that may be irrational.

20 years ago I was in a head-on collision on an interstate. It was around midnight and I was behind an 18-wheeler who suddenly slammed on his brakes and swerved right. Naturally I pulled to the left, only to see what had caused the truck driver to slam on his brakes: a drunk driver on the WRONG side of I-70. I didn't have much time to do anything other than pull hard to the right; unfortunately the idiot, drunk-driver heading right for me pulled to the left. We hit nearly head-on doing around 60 MPH. We were both driving giant station wagons--no one was seriously injured. However, we were all pretty shaken up, including the truck driver who I remember standing at my window asking if I was all right.

It took me about 6 months to be able to drive comfortably at night; and at first I didn't even try it. I still get a little nervous passing trucks at night. I couldn't eliminate the need to drive at night so I had to come to terms with it. It took a while, but I was able to.

Dilbert1234567 · 02-09-2007, 08:53 AM

when i really need to blow off some steam and calm down, i play violent video games, it raises my anxiety while i play, but after i play for about an hour then stop, i end up calm and relaxed.

Cynosure · 02-09-2007, 09:18 AM

If it's nerves from work stress or something like that, then I find a single glass of wine helps immensely. Also, sleep helps to clear my head and calm my nerves. But if it's deep-seated nerves or deeply troubling outward stress, then nothing else but prayer and meditation truly eases my suffering and helps me to cope.

analog · 02-09-2007, 09:19 AM

Any diversion... mostly movies. If I can pop a movie in, I can generally calm myself down just by trying to relax while being distracted by it.

However... sometimes if it's bad enough that I don't even feel like watching a movie, I just lay down in my darkened room and lightly close my eyes... and just concentrate on breathing. Then, logically step through that's causing the anxiety. This helps alleviate it a lot as well, but nothing I've tried is ever 100%, most just lower it a bit, and different kinds need different approaches.

Jinn · 02-09-2007, 09:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dilbert1234567

when i really need to blow off some steam and calm down, i play violent video games, it raises my anxiety while i play, but after i play for about an hour then stop, i end up calm and relaxed.

Dilbert, excellent point - I don't know how the hell I missed this one. Aside from the strategy I noted above, violent video games are incredibly useful for lowering my anxiety. It raises your blood pressure and anxiety when you play, but when you're done.. whatever you were anxious about seems so trivial.

My girlfriend called it catharsis one time when we were discussing it, and I think it's very applicable. Some people can do it with country music or sad movies, for me - it's chainsawing people in half with the Lancer

MexicanOnABike · 02-09-2007, 10:19 AM

I agree with Jinn and Dil.
Kill something. like in videogames. I used to play UnrealTournament (instagib deck16 with skilled or masterful bots) and it's fucking great!
or hunting. It doesn't have to be a living thing but killing a bottle with a gun is pretty relaxing! or sex. sex always takes stress away.

tinfoil · 02-09-2007, 10:28 AM

Violent video games or play some gitbass. Or I just go and find tinfoil 2.0, pick her up and tickle her until she starts pushing me away. At 14 months, I usually win.

Gilda · 02-09-2007, 10:47 AM

I take powerful drugs that alter the neurochemical balance in my brain.

I talk to my wife or sister about whatever it is that's causing me problems, not to try to arrive at a particular solution, but because talking about it helps me let it out so that I'm no longer keeping it bottled up inside where it can do me harm.

I make note of the event and my reaction to it in my journal, which can serve the same purpose as talking about it with a person I trust.

I go through a mental checklist when I have the opportunity to help me understand why I reacted the way I did or felt the way and did and to retrain my automatic responses to be more healthy.

Meditation, listening to calming music, cleaning, and exercise all have been known to help on occasion.

Sultana · 02-09-2007, 03:47 PM

Dance, lifting weights, sometimes a drink or two, if that's appropriate. Talking it out with a girlfriend. Making lists, organizing the ehll out of something.

If it's really, really bad, I'll do housework.

Charlatan · 02-09-2007, 03:47 PM

Over the past few years I was quite stressed and I found that alcohol helped a lot. It was only a drink after work (maybe two) and no more. Just enough to take the edge off.

Since my move I have realized that while I still like to drink. It isn't nearly as relaxing as removing the source of the stress.

Now, for stress I practice breathing exercises and meditation. It sounds incredibly corny but it works for me. I am more relaxed and focused than I have ever been.

At Christmas, my extended family all commented that they hadn't seen me so at ease in years.

snowy · 02-09-2007, 05:43 PM

I take pills--both a prescription pill for my depression/anxiety, and an OTC pill for nighttime anxiety (for sleeping). Even with prescription medication my anxiety is so bad at night that I have to take the OTC medication (it's doxylamine succinate, if you're curious--it's the active ingredient in Unisom Maximum Strength and basically works not by making you drowsy, but by making your brain stop thinking) or else my brain will just run circles around itself and not shut off. I can literally work myself into a major panic attack in less than thirty seconds when I lay down to sleep. I have some intervention techniques that work and do relax me, but they don't get me to sleep the way medication does. I usually end up taking it at least a couple of nights a week.

I also smoke pot occasionally and drink.

Better living through chemistry, I say.

Exercising also calms my nerves, as does a hot cup of chai, or eating a small bite of chocolate. Those are other techniques I use. I also do a fair amount of venting through writing, talking with others, or calling my mother.

I wish I had a better means of controlling my anxiety when I go to sleep, but after so many years of living with it, I've found that the method I currently use really is the most effective. It's also the easiest, which is kind of nice.

Willravel · 02-09-2007, 06:03 PM

I watch Arrested Development or something funny on tv. Laughing always calms me down. If that doesn't work, I go into alpha for a few minutes.

spectre · 02-09-2007, 06:25 PM

Whiskey and hookers......

sorry, I think I was channeling King for a sec there.

I usually just try to distract myself with busy work or close my eyes and put on some music.

Gilda · 02-09-2007, 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onesnowyowl

I take pills--both a prescription pill for my depression/anxiety, and an OTC pill for nighttime anxiety (for sleeping). Even with prescription medication my anxiety is so bad at night that I have to take the OTC medication (it's doxylamine succinate, if you're curious--it's the active ingredient in Unisom Maximum Strength and basically works not by making you drowsy, but by making your brain stop thinking) or else my brain will just run circles around itself and not shut off. I can literally work myself into a major panic attack in less than thirty seconds when I lay down to sleep. I have some intervention techniques that work and do relax me, but they don't get me to sleep the way medication does. I usually end up taking it at least a couple of nights a week.

I also smoke pot occasionally and drink.

Better living through chemistry, I say.

Exercising also calms my nerves, as does a hot cup of chai, or eating a small bite of chocolate. Those are other techniques I use. I also do a fair amount of venting through writing, talking with others, or calling my mother.

I wish I had a better means of controlling my anxiety when I go to sleep, but after so many years of living with it, I've found that the method I currently use really is the most effective. It's also the easiest, which is kind of nice.

I used to get the same thing, but I've substituted snuggling up to a Japanese amazon for the pills. It's remarkably calming and I thoroughly recommend it.

ryborg · 02-09-2007, 10:02 PM

Sometimes porn works wonders.

I like to doodle nervously in my notebook in new classes where I don't know anyone. Then I draw something obscene and inappropriate to make the people next to me laugh, or move away depending on their sense of humor. Yoga can help calm my nerves, too.

Miss Mango · 02-10-2007, 09:47 AM

These are all great ideas. I usually try and talk to someone if Im having an anxiety attack. But I never really know what to do if its something to a lesser degree. Sometimes Ill have this constant anxiety for a long period of time that never really gets to the point of a full-blown attack. Like this morning I woke up at about 6am, which is early for me and I had this almost burning feel of nervousness in my chest/stomach. Thats the only way I can describe it. And I couldnt get back to sleep for the life of me. I knew what was bothering me, and its completely ridiculous to get upset over, but it just wouldnt go away. So I finally just got out of bed because theres no way Im going back to sleep, I was just laying there feeling awful. Its kind of lightened up a bit, but its still there. Im just trying to keep it down now.

I used to have a drink or two to calm my nerves too, but I dont really want to be dependent on alcohol to rid my anxiety.

*Nikki* · 02-11-2007, 03:52 PM

Lexapro....

Zeraph · 02-12-2007, 01:24 PM

orgasm, logic, laughter, video games, books, exercise, meditating, movies, or friends depending on the circumstances. (and about in that order).

Ch'i · 02-12-2007, 01:48 PM

Empty your mind. Think about nothing; don't even think. If an idea or thought emerges, do not force it away; let it pass by without regard. Its quite relaxing.

Having a good laugh always works too.

Oh, and long time no see, Zeraph.

Pip · 03-03-2007, 11:30 AM

Planning and preparation.

If I have too much to do, I get paralysed by fear of failure, so I make sure I don't take on more than I can handle. I've learnt to spot the signs of impending paralysis so I can dump less important stuff before it actually happens. Which is why I haven't been here lately.

Specific situations like speaking in front of a group can sometimes trigger anxiety attacks for me. However, I know that if I prepare well enough I'm able to hold a decent presentation in spite of having an attack.

Then there's waiting for the bus that never comes, worrying over being late to something important. Things that are beyond my control. Then and only then I have my trusty relaxation technique of taking a deep breath and letting it out sloooowly. I've actually begun to do it subconsciously, all of a sudden I notice I'm breathing that way and think "Huh. I guess I was fretting about something."

DaveOrion · 03-03-2007, 12:21 PM

Xanax.....or Whiskey and Hookers.....or I channel a buddhist monk who then goes into 'alpha'....whatever....

02-09-2007, 05:10 AM	#1 (permalink)
Miss Mango Psycho	How do you calm your nerves? Im just curious, anyone who has any anxiety or gets nervous to a large degree - how do you go about calming your nerves? Or do you just wait for it to pass?

02-09-2007, 07:12 AM	#3 (permalink)
serlindsipity Psycho Location: Boulder Baby!	I get anxiety when I'm alone to long, so forcing myself out of my house to visit a friend usually fixes it. Otherwise, I go bike ride or borrow a friends dog for an hour and that will do that trick. __________________ My third eye is my camera's lens.

02-09-2007, 07:38 AM	#4 (permalink)
hagatha Addict	I find talking to someone, in person, immensely useful. i am lucky to live with my best friend and she's always there for me. If she's not around, I exercise. I find going outside for a walk really gives perspective, it clears the mind and just moving keeps you from being in a prolonged, agitated state. __________________ Thats the last time I trust the strangest people I ever met....H. Simpson

02-09-2007, 07:50 AM	#5 (permalink)
Daval Junkie Location: The True North Strong and Free!	If I need stress relief I like to get underwater. I am a scuba diver so even if its just to the pool I can float weightless in complete silence and then just zen out. I love doing that. Even better if you are in open water and can look at fish or something. __________________ "It is impossible to obtain a conviction for sodomy from an English jury. Half of them don't believe that it can physically be done, and the other half are doing it." Winston Churchill

02-09-2007, 07:58 AM	#6 (permalink)
highthief Junkie Location: Ontario, Canada	Alcohol, for the most part. __________________ Si vis pacem parabellum.

02-09-2007, 08:05 AM	#7 (permalink)
Jinn Lover - Protector - Teacher Location: Seattle, WA	Through logical processing of my emotions. I know some people think it's impossible, but I find it rather easy. I wage a logic war with my emotion, debunking any irrational fear with the best argument I can come up with. I usually win. That said, there are times when you should be legitimately anxious. Assuming you're not overreacting, anxiety is our body's signal to be more alert, more observant. If you're anxious because a stranger is following you, that isn't one of the times you should 'calm your nerves.' The most common anxiety-producers are speech-making and direct conversation with other people. In those cases, practice convincing yourself the reality of the situation, rather than what you believe is happening. __________________ "I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel

02-09-2007, 08:53 AM	#9 (permalink)
Dilbert1234567 Devils Cabana Boy Location: Central Coast CA	when i really need to blow off some steam and calm down, i play violent video games, it raises my anxiety while i play, but after i play for about an hour then stop, i end up calm and relaxed. __________________ Donate Blood! "Love is not finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." -Sam Keen

02-09-2007, 09:18 AM	#10 (permalink)
Cynosure Psycho Location: the center of the multiverse	If it's nerves from work stress or something like that, then I find a single glass of wine helps immensely. Also, sleep helps to clear my head and calm my nerves. But if it's deep-seated nerves or deeply troubling outward stress, then nothing else but prayer and meditation truly eases my suffering and helps me to cope. Last edited by Cynosure; 02-09-2007 at 09:21 AM..

02-09-2007, 09:19 AM	#11 (permalink)
analog Banned	Any diversion... mostly movies. If I can pop a movie in, I can generally calm myself down just by trying to relax while being distracted by it. However... sometimes if it's bad enough that I don't even feel like watching a movie, I just lay down in my darkened room and lightly close my eyes... and just concentrate on breathing. Then, logically step through that's causing the anxiety. This helps alleviate it a lot as well, but nothing I've tried is ever 100%, most just lower it a bit, and different kinds need different approaches.

02-09-2007, 10:19 AM	#13 (permalink)
MexicanOnABike Location: up north	I agree with Jinn and Dil. Kill something. like in videogames. I used to play UnrealTournament (instagib deck16 with skilled or masterful bots) and it's fucking great! or hunting. It doesn't have to be a living thing but killing a bottle with a gun is pretty relaxing! or sex. sex always takes stress away. __________________ - Movie Reviews - Ratings-

02-09-2007, 10:28 AM	#14 (permalink)
tinfoil Fucking Hostile Location: Springford, ON, Canada	Violent video games or play some gitbass. Or I just go and find tinfoil 2.0, pick her up and tickle her until she starts pushing me away. At 14 months, I usually win. __________________ Get off your fuckin cross. We need the fuckin space to nail the next fool martyr.

02-09-2007, 10:47 AM	#15 (permalink)
Gilda 32 flavors and then some Location: Out on a wire.	I take powerful drugs that alter the neurochemical balance in my brain. I talk to my wife or sister about whatever it is that's causing me problems, not to try to arrive at a particular solution, but because talking about it helps me let it out so that I'm no longer keeping it bottled up inside where it can do me harm. I make note of the event and my reaction to it in my journal, which can serve the same purpose as talking about it with a person I trust. I go through a mental checklist when I have the opportunity to help me understand why I reacted the way I did or felt the way and did and to retrain my automatic responses to be more healthy. Meditation, listening to calming music, cleaning, and exercise all have been known to help on occasion. __________________ I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that. ~Steven Colbert

02-09-2007, 03:47 PM	#16 (permalink)
Sultana Falling Angel Location: L.A. L.A. land	Dance, lifting weights, sometimes a drink or two, if that's appropriate. Talking it out with a girlfriend. Making lists, organizing the ehll out of something. If it's really, really bad, I'll do housework. __________________ "Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." - Matt Groening My goal? To fulfill my potential.

02-09-2007, 03:47 PM	#17 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	Over the past few years I was quite stressed and I found that alcohol helped a lot. It was only a drink after work (maybe two) and no more. Just enough to take the edge off. Since my move I have realized that while I still like to drink. It isn't nearly as relaxing as removing the source of the stress. Now, for stress I practice breathing exercises and meditation. It sounds incredibly corny but it works for me. I am more relaxed and focused than I have ever been. At Christmas, my extended family all commented that they hadn't seen me so at ease in years. __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

02-09-2007, 05:43 PM	#18 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	I take pills--both a prescription pill for my depression/anxiety, and an OTC pill for nighttime anxiety (for sleeping). Even with prescription medication my anxiety is so bad at night that I have to take the OTC medication (it's doxylamine succinate, if you're curious--it's the active ingredient in Unisom Maximum Strength and basically works not by making you drowsy, but by making your brain stop thinking) or else my brain will just run circles around itself and not shut off. I can literally work myself into a major panic attack in less than thirty seconds when I lay down to sleep. I have some intervention techniques that work and do relax me, but they don't get me to sleep the way medication does. I usually end up taking it at least a couple of nights a week. I also smoke pot occasionally and drink. Better living through chemistry, I say. Exercising also calms my nerves, as does a hot cup of chai, or eating a small bite of chocolate. Those are other techniques I use. I also do a fair amount of venting through writing, talking with others, or calling my mother. I wish I had a better means of controlling my anxiety when I go to sleep, but after so many years of living with it, I've found that the method I currently use really is the most effective. It's also the easiest, which is kind of nice. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

02-11-2007, 03:52 PM	#24 (permalink)
Nikki ~~~~~~~ Location: Charleston, SC	Lexapro....

02-09-2007, 06:03 PM	#19 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	I watch Arrested Development or something funny on tv. Laughing always calms me down. If that doesn't work, I go into alpha for a few minutes.

02-09-2007, 06:25 PM	#20 (permalink)
spectre Junkie	Whiskey and hookers...... sorry, I think I was channeling King for a sec there. I usually just try to distract myself with busy work or close my eyes and put on some music. __________________ "Fuck these chains No goddamn slave I will be different" ~ Machine Head

02-09-2007, 10:02 PM	#22 (permalink)
ryborg Crazy	Sometimes porn works wonders. I like to doodle nervously in my notebook in new classes where I don't know anyone. Then I draw something obscene and inappropriate to make the people next to me laugh, or move away depending on their sense of humor. Yoga can help calm my nerves, too. __________________ Solve two problems at once. Feed the homeless to the hungry.

02-10-2007, 09:47 AM	#23 (permalink)
Miss Mango Psycho	These are all great ideas. I usually try and talk to someone if Im having an anxiety attack. But I never really know what to do if its something to a lesser degree. Sometimes Ill have this constant anxiety for a long period of time that never really gets to the point of a full-blown attack. Like this morning I woke up at about 6am, which is early for me and I had this almost burning feel of nervousness in my chest/stomach. Thats the only way I can describe it. And I couldnt get back to sleep for the life of me. I knew what was bothering me, and its completely ridiculous to get upset over, but it just wouldnt go away. So I finally just got out of bed because theres no way Im going back to sleep, I was just laying there feeling awful. Its kind of lightened up a bit, but its still there. Im just trying to keep it down now. I used to have a drink or two to calm my nerves too, but I dont really want to be dependent on alcohol to rid my anxiety.

02-12-2007, 01:24 PM	#25 (permalink)
Zeraph Banned Location: The Cosmos	orgasm, logic, laughter, video games, books, exercise, meditating, movies, or friends depending on the circumstances. (and about in that order).

02-12-2007, 01:48 PM	#26 (permalink)
Ch'i Artist of Life	Empty your mind. Think about nothing; don't even think. If an idea or thought emerges, do not force it away; let it pass by without regard. Its quite relaxing. Having a good laugh always works too. Oh, and long time no see, Zeraph.

03-03-2007, 11:30 AM	#27 (permalink)
Pip Likes Hats Location: Stockholm, Sweden	Planning and preparation. If I have too much to do, I get paralysed by fear of failure, so I make sure I don't take on more than I can handle. I've learnt to spot the signs of impending paralysis so I can dump less important stuff before it actually happens. Which is why I haven't been here lately. Specific situations like speaking in front of a group can sometimes trigger anxiety attacks for me. However, I know that if I prepare well enough I'm able to hold a decent presentation in spite of having an attack. Then there's waiting for the bus that never comes, worrying over being late to something important. Things that are beyond my control. Then and only then I have my trusty relaxation technique of taking a deep breath and letting it out sloooowly. I've actually begun to do it subconsciously, all of a sudden I notice I'm breathing that way and think "Huh. I guess I was fretting about something."

03-03-2007, 12:21 PM	#28 (permalink)
DaveOrion Playing With Fire Location: Disaster Area	Xanax.....or Whiskey and Hookers.....or I channel a buddhist monk who then goes into 'alpha'....whatever.... __________________ *Syriana*...have you ever tried liquid MDMA?....Liquid MDMA? No....Arash, when you wanna do this?.....After prayer...