kurty[B]

So, I actually listened to a voicemail I left someone today, and realized I used "um" and "uh" to an annoying point.

I know it's generally when I'm leaving voicemails that I was not expecting to end up talking to the persons voicemail, or talking about something I'm not exactly sure about. As far as the voicemail goes I know I could take the time to think about what I would say if the call does go to voicemail and it would take care of that. But in general, what's the best way to get annoying "ums" and "ahs" and "uhs" out of your vocal vocabulary?

Bill O'Rights

You've already taken the first step of realizing that you're even doing it. From there, just make a conscious effort to avoid doing it, until, before you know it, you're no longer doing it at all.

Or...


Hire an English major to follow you around with a rolled up newspaper, and smack you up alongside your head every time that you do it. Hey...what else are they gonna use that degree for?

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Supple Cow

I'm going through the same thing with the word "like", which has recently made a strong comeback after its eradication at the end of my teen years. When I did it the first time, I treated it like any other physical skill there was to learn and I'm there again now... slow it down and practice it. Don't open your mouth unless you know what you're going to say. Then say it carefully. The "ums" and "uhs" (and the "likes" in my case) will still come out a lot at first, but then the task ahead of you will be clear. You'll be painfully aware of the habit and you can consciously work to break it.

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snowy

Lots of things...

But I do like to smack people...hmm. Bill, you have given me a lot to think about today. This could mean a whole new career path for me.

As for the "ums" and "ahs" I find the best cure is public speaking, and practicing speaking aloud on your own time. Read aloud. It helps a great deal to develop your speaking fluency.

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Lasereth

We had to do a LOT of public speaking in college in my major. If you said "Um or Uh," the professor would mark 1 point off of your grade for every single occurance. The main reason people say Um and Uh is because they think pauses sound weird during presentations, but they really don't. If you just completed a sentence and need to gather your thoughts about the next, don't say Um, just say nothing period. Soon you'll start catching yourself everytime.

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ratbastid

Okay, it's you and me, snowy. We'll open East- and West-coast branches of English Majors People Smacking, Incorporated.

I find that knowing what I'm saying is the biggest thing that cuts down my umming. I do a lot of public speaking, and I do it from a set of bullet points where what I want to say is laid out. I can work FROM those notes (in other words, I'm not just reading from the book), but I'm never lost or thinking on my feet or shooting from the hip.

ngdawg

Uhhhh.....
Let me think...hmmm
Years ago a report came out suggesting that people who uh and hm while speaking were of higher intelligence. I'm pretty sure that went nowhere quick. On the other hand, I know many a person who shoot from the lip like a rapid-fire machine gun....
We tried something with my daughter that at least works while she talks to us(not sure about when she's with friends); she used 'like' a lot. Like, always. Like, ad like nauseum. So every time she said 'like', we said it right back, cutting her in the middle of a sentence.
Get some friends or family aware of your desire to change the habit and have them 'interrupt' with uh's and hm's each time you do it.
Or, you could do like Bill, et al, suggested and, like, uh....get hit over the head, ya know like?

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Wilkerson

Prepare before dialing and that way you are ready for a machine. To add to elimination of annoying sounds, keep the basic thoughts brief. There is no need to go into excruciating details since you haven't made contact with the live person. In short, you want something which will make them want to return your call.

Gilda

If I get voicemail I just hang up, which solves the problem quite efficiently.

I speak in front of groups for a living, but I'm very careful to prepare efficiently for every class and every conference presentation to the point that I can hit my main points efficiently and without involuntary inserts. I script presentations pretty strictly ahead of time to avoid any mistakes.

When not in class or at a presentation, I simply avoid speaking spontaneously. Sometimes I can refer to a script of basic responses I've developed, but when a new situation comes up, I pause, saying nothing, and compose a response in my head before responding. Sometimes by the time I've composed a response, the other person has gone on to something else, relieving me of the necessity of any kind of response. If the other person starts prodding, I'm likely to end up saying nothing or having a lot of verbal problems in my response.

I don't tend to talk much outside of class or with my family. It's an efficient, if not very productive, way of avoiding any verbal inserts, deletions or other forms of dysfluency.

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The_Jazz

I corrected my problem with this by stretching out words or slowing down if I need time to think. My problem is usually that I'm running two different thoughts in my head on where to go next and they compete for attention. I'll also stop to emphasize a point by repeating it to organize my next sentence.

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kurty[B]

This is definitely my problem. I'm going to try and stay on top of recognizing when I use the "uhs" and such this week. I'll definitely tell some close friends to interrupt me whenever they hear me use them. Getting smacked upside the head with a newspaper would definitely work!

Manorfire

I've tried everything to get peeps to leave a message on my answer machine:

"If you are a burglar, then I'm at home cleaning my weapons tonight and I can't come to the phone. Otherwise, I'm probably not at home, so it's perfectly safe to leave a message."

"You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone, you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message."

"You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of your voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes, so please remember to speak."

Hence, I don't care whether a message is littered with ums and ahs. Too many people wait until they hear the beep and then hang up because "they don't like talking to machines".Though, they'll rant at their television sets soon enough.

Unless you need to sound particularly articulate when you speak, say for professional reasons, I wouldn't worry about the odd idiosyncrasy creeping in. But, this is my laid back view, others might disagree. I'd rather feel confident in myself and the content of what I say, than hinder my communication over such a minor thing. As you were unaware of it before, I expect it was just the pressure of leaving a recording that made it so prevalent. You probably sounded like the average person does when they leave an unexpected recording. If you speak with passion, humour and honesty, then people will remember you for that, rather than how many times you 'umm' or hesitate.

little_tippler

I used to have similar problems with some portuguese expressions that are popular here, and basically what I did was realize I was doing it, and then stop myself every time I was about to say it. It worked over time. Like Lasereth said, it's better to actually pause than say ummm or uuuhh.

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We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

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Lindy

Thanks, Gilda. I knew that these things had to have a name. I am also one of those people that don't really like the machines or voicemail. I usually try to hang up "before the beep." Or, I'll leave a simple "This is Lindy, you can reach me at 123-4567" or "This is Lindy, returning your call."

Besides the uhs and umms in sentences, there are the unnecessary presentence inserts, like in the OP.
"So, I actually listened to a voicemail I left ..." instead of "I actually listened to a voicemail ..."
So ...
Well ...
I would say ...
Ya know ...
and a favorite from one of my college professors: "Well, I would tend to think . . ." So, Dr. Olson, why not just start out with what you think??

It's also disconcerting, when I have actually prepared a message to leave on voicemail, that I get thrown for a loop by getting a real live PERSON instead of voicemail.
Lindy

One of my favorite outgoings is from my cousin the Kansas State Trooper:
"Hi, this is Larry. I want to remind you that you have the right to remain silent . . "
Also one of my sisters: This is Barb, you know what to do."

analog

So wait a minute... you call with something to say... a planned sequence of topics or maybe a specific few... and when the person doesn't answer, you toss all of that out the window and don't leave them a message? That seems... I don't know (<-not sarcastic)... pointless?

Anyhow, i'm making a thread on this now because i'm way too interested, so ignore my threadjack.

Gilda

Yes.

Not exactly. If the person I'm calling is there, we can talk to each other. That's the point.

I didn't see the other thread, so I responded here.

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777

You don't leave a message?! That's just rude

Moving right along, I have a similar problem. I tend to stuter. A lot. I later realized that if I mentally rehearse what I'm about to say, it comes out smoothly. And I don't just practice what I'm goint to say, but how I say it. My tone of voice, it's speed, and at times, the way I'm standing/sitting/walking/etc.

Since I'm in sales as of this posting, just about everything that I have to say to a customer has been practiced some time before. And when I'm just talking to people, I try to use my best one liners. In fact, I will recycle lines I've used in emails, chats, and posts.

So sometime in the next few days, I'm going to say to someone, "You don't [insert something they should have done]?! That's just rude

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thingstodo

Some great suggestions already presented.

It's amazing what you learn when you videotape yourself talking or presenting. Also, some message systems now allow you to listen to your recording.

And if you can't think of something to say - hang up. No one will know. Call back when you figure out how to deal with the unexpected one-way conversation or just say "it's _______, please give me a call back about ______."

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warrrreagl

Since I'd heard my recorded voice many times with music bands I played in, I was not a stranger to the sound of my recorded voice. I'd learned how to adapt it to sound the way I wanted people to hear it.

However.....

The first time Grancey sat in on one of my college lectures she ripped me a new one concerning all my umms and ahhhs. She also told me I shifted my weight back and forth an incredibly annoying amount of time. Having a brutally honest person in your life can basically save your life. I'm a helluva lot better teacher because of Grancey.

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Val_1

I have successfully replaced my annoying "ums" and "ahs" ... with annoying pauses and silence ... not sure which is worse. In person, the silence in fine, cause you can usually tell I'm thinking my the strained look on my face On the phone, I'm sure it's quite tedious.

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kurty[B]

I'd rather hear silence than ums and ahs. I have been improving, still working on it. I'm doing much better on voicemails, and messages (have stopped dialing numbers before thinking about what I'm actually going to say). I still notice myself slipping though. It's definitely a work in progress.

Ourcrazymodern?

I rhought peeps were those odd marshmallow things that come around easter?

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thespian86

The best way to watch what you say is to think about it before you say it. Simple.

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ME: I officially love coffee more then you now.
EX: uh...
ME: So, not much.

Easytiger

I have the opposite problem. Public speaking is most of my job (English teacher) and there are times when I would really like to say "uh" or "um", but after so much practice and so much wordplay, I sound polished no matter what.
So...practice makes perfect, but perfection can be boring! People probably like the way you speak; don't get too worried about it.