longbough

I feel compelled to write this because I know that anyone who has a cat or dog invariably does and says the most stupid stuff when they're with their pet. It's as if having a pet gives you an excuse to "drop your guard" and act silly.

Here's my example. I have the world's laziest border collie, Albert. He definitely gets by on his looks because he's, above all, a cutie with a puppyface. My neice (4 years old) and nephew (2 years old) love him, too. I like to pick up Albert and chase them around with him. I'd hold Albert with his front paws held together in my left hand and have his butt and feet tucked under my right shoulder - holding him like a rifle. I call him my "dog gun" and chase around my neice and nephew making shooting noises: "BOW-WOW-WOW!"

I can't be the only one who does or says dumb stuff with their pet. What do you do?

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"I do believe that, where there is only a choice between cowardice and violence, I would advise violence. Thus when my eldest son asked me what he should have done, had he been present when I was almost fatally assaulted in 1908, whether he should have run away and seen me killed or whether he should have used his physical force which he could and wanted to use, and defended me, I told him that it was his duty to defend me even by using violence." - Mahatma Ghandi

surferlove007

I have similar habits with my cat Michelle. I've had this cat for 10 years, over half of my life. I'm 18 now, got her when I was 8. I totally fell in love with my cat since I got her. Rescued her from the pound, God so many awful and embarassing memories for that poor cat.
I used to give her blanket-parties. All those of you unfamiliar with that term...a blanket party is where you throw the blanket over the cat and piss it off enough till it claws into that blanket leaving it on its back.
So when this happened I would then drag the poor cat all over the house until she escaped and preceded to scratch the shit out of me.
I had several names for my cat, her official name was Lady Michelle Lump-A-lot, somehow that emerged from my childhood, and I tend to call her Lump now.
We also got another cat for my sister at the same time, this cat we thought was a girl, turned out to be a little boy. Unfortunately we had already named him Brittney. So..Brittney turned into a Billy and there you have it.
So Lump and Billy decided to get married. Well my sister and I arranged it.
We made them little wedding outfits and set up red towels and a church alter area in our living room. They were so damn cute though, you have no idea. Then right during the ceremony Lump had to take a dump, great ending to the story. They did get a nice bowl of wet-kitty food after it so not all was a loss to them.

Unfortunately I'm in school now, and away from Lump, I miss her very much. Went home last week and she hardly acknowledged me except before I left, instead she has been dealing with my dad, she is a very picky cat when it comes to whom she will tolerate, myself being her exception.
I cannot wait to see her when I go home fro Christmas.

Lady Sage

My cats love to cuddle and unfortunately most of the time I have to cuddle is when im going off to dreamland...

So 3 out of 4 of my cats LOVE to spoon with me because I sleep on my side. They get up in bed and lay down in front of me on their sides with their backs to me and I wrap my arm around their tummies and scratch their chests or they use my hand as a pillow and they purr me to sleep... Talk about bliss...

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If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
Minds are like parachutes, they function best when open.
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surferlove007

That sounds nice, Lump is not a cuddle cat. She sleeps at the end of the bed and then gets pissy when I accidentally kick her off the bed in the middle of the night, be happy your kitties love you!

longbough

My brother's cat, Mackie, is a long-haired chubby thing. He trusts nobody ... except my brother who can just scoop up Mackie and plop him casually on the sofa using him as a headrest or pillow while watching TV.

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"I do believe that, where there is only a choice between cowardice and violence, I would advise violence. Thus when my eldest son asked me what he should have done, had he been present when I was almost fatally assaulted in 1908, whether he should have run away and seen me killed or whether he should have used his physical force which he could and wanted to use, and defended me, I told him that it was his duty to defend me even by using violence." - Mahatma Ghandi

Elphaba

I have *never* allowed a pet in my bed.

until little baby skookums puppy

aberkok

Oh man...this could be a funny thread.

I cradle my youngest cat, Miles, in my one arm and with the other, pull the sides of his face down a bit about the eyes. This gives him a junkie look (drooping eyelids) and I go tell my wife he's strung out on crack. At other times, I'll pull the top of his head back a bit to make his eyes go big. I'll typically precede this with some kind of surprising statement, like for example: "you lost how much at the track!?" *cat eyes go big*

Major silliness.

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Sultana

Well, when I was quite young (around 5?) we had a very easy going cat who allowed young Sultana to carry him around, straddling her forearm, head at elbow, while she sang karaoke into the tip of his tail, like a microphone.

Don't ask, I don't know.

These days one of my cats *LOVES * it if I vigorously scratch her back from shoulders to butt, with both hands. She'll get all purry and excited and army-crawl hilariously all over the living room, with me following her on my knees, keeping up the scratching. I tend to speak encouragingly to her in a strong Austrian accent during this time.

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My goal? To fulfill my potential.

Grancey

My sweet Sophia loves to curl up in shoeboxes. I usually leave one laying on the bed for her. She also likes to "fly".... This experience requires my picking her up while in the shoebox and spinning around the room while "flying" her up and down, and sometimes swooping the other cats who watch in disbelief. Yes, it was competely her idea to start doing this at all...

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DaElf

I sing to my dogs. Using their names a lot like in that commercial YOU ARE MY CATT!! (can't remember the name of the cat in the commercial jonsey maybe?). I also like to rub my dogs until there is a big pile of gray hair all over. For some reason I think it makes them feel better. Like thinning out thier coat when it's hot or something.

Lady Sage

My cats love the brush... I just hold the brush and clean it out once in a while and they walk themselves dizzy purring insanely brushing themselves... drooling all over the place...

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If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
Minds are like parachutes, they function best when open.
It`s Easier to Change a Condom Than a Diaper
Yes, the rumors are true... I actually AM a Witch.

longbough

lmao. I love the responses.

I also sing to my dog, Albert. Here are some of my most embarrasing tunes:

To the tune of "La La Means I Love You" by the Delfonics - "BOW-WOW-WOW-WOW-WOW-WOW-WOW means ... I love youuuuu!"

To the tune of Beethoven's 5th Symphony - "BOW-WOW-WOW-WOW! ... BOW-WOW-WOW-WOW!" I'm usually pointing my dog towards somebody and moving him as if he's the one singing.

My brother saw me massaging Albert's temples once. I said it was because Albert had a headache.

__________________
"I do believe that, where there is only a choice between cowardice and violence, I would advise violence. Thus when my eldest son asked me what he should have done, had he been present when I was almost fatally assaulted in 1908, whether he should have run away and seen me killed or whether he should have used his physical force which he could and wanted to use, and defended me, I told him that it was his duty to defend me even by using violence." - Mahatma Ghandi

Elphaba

Has anyone ever done firm butt pats on the back of a cat? The cats I've had go wild about that, but then I have only had very strange cats.

Lady Sage

OMG yes! I dunno why they like that... I would throw a fit because its almost like you are spanking them just above their tails but the harder you do it the louder they purr and then they do that kneading thing with their paws and their eyes get all heavy half lidded like.... oh yeah, right there, thats how I like it.... who loves kitty.....

I dont get it either.

__________________
If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
Minds are like parachutes, they function best when open.
It`s Easier to Change a Condom Than a Diaper
Yes, the rumors are true... I actually AM a Witch.

surferlove007

I think it's a form of teasing or foreplay for them...well the luckier ones who haven't been fixed. My cats always stick their butts up way high when I scratched their back.
Mr. Mayor and El Presidente loved it too.

little_tippler

I will occasionally carry my cats around the living-room while dancing to a tune that may be on TV or something, with them looking rather startld at what I'm doing.

I also love it when they jump on my bed (with me in it) and then try to get under the duvet. They love being in the fuzzy warmth under the covers. At times I have managed to have both of them there at the same time.

My female cat used to hate having her belly touched, but now she just loves it, I have no idea how but I guess she trusts me. She will come up to me then throw herself on the floor with her belly up and purr loudly, and when I pat her she stretches all her paws out and purrs, and then gets up and throws herself down again to get some more lovin'! She's extra cute, it looks so funny. She will do this repeatedly until I stop aying attention.

Apart from these I don't think there's anything that weird that I do with my pets. Funny thread by the way!

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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

Sweetpea

yes... i'm one of those people who picks my cats up and dances around the room with them... they have gown to accept it's part of their kitty fate of being in my household

sweetpea

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"I am the Type of Person Who Can Get Away With A lot, Simply Because I Don't Ask Permission for the Privilege of Being Myself"

warrrreagl

All of our cats are indoor cats. All of them lust after the moths they see outside the window at the porch light. Therefore .... I catch moths for them.

We bought a butterfly net and it normally rests in a corner. Whenever we notice a fat moth while coming in through the door, I grab the net. The very act of grabbing that net causes all four cats to start going bazonga. Running in circles, howling, jockeying for position against each other - it's incredible to watch. And when I come back in with the moth caught in the net, they start leaping and trying to rip the net out of my hand.

So, I put the net close to the floor, shake it upside down, and get the hell out of the way as the cat circus begins. Airborne cats. Eventually one of them (usually Baxter) will finally trap the thing and eat it while the others look at me as if to say, "What are you waiting for? ANOTHER!"

I expect a visit from PETA any day now about our moth torture.

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Living is easy with eyes closed.

StanT

The silliest thing I do with my newfie is leave out a disgusting, smelly T-shirt for her to curl up with while I'm at work. Apparently, she misses me and it beats picking up the hamper day after day (or cleaning drool out of my hiking boots).

Back in Illinois, I used to practice "kitty bowling". Ice up a 100' section of lawn, and pitch the cat underhand down the lane. See how far you can get before the cat gets enough traction to get off the ice. Believe it or not, the cat used to come back for more.

warrrreagl

Now that's funny. For some reason, that reminds me of when we lived in Iowa, and cats (not ours, thank goodness) would get frozen to the sidewalk. Apparently they'd lay down to nap on a sunny, icy sidewalk and their body heat would melt the ice under them. But then the moisture on the fringes of their fur would re-freeze and they'd be stuck like that.

The first time one of our Alabama-born cats saw snow in Iowa was funny, too. He looked like a gazelle as he tried to walk without touching the snow. After that, he couldn't wait to get back out into it.

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Living is easy with eyes closed.

Sweetpea

Our cat does this too. We have wood floors and he loves to lay flat and be pushed so he flys about 8 feet, then he gets up, runs back and lays down again. He'll do it until I get tired, the whole time making these huge MEOW sounds while he's sliding on the floor, it's hysterical


oh and I really love this thread.



sweetpea

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Having a Pet Will Change Your Life!
Looking for a great pet?! Click Here!
"I am the Type of Person Who Can Get Away With A lot, Simply Because I Don't Ask Permission for the Privilege of Being Myself"

longbough

I must confess ...

when my brother's cat or my dog (they're buddies) starts licking my bare feet ... it feels so good I don't stop them.

__________________
"I do believe that, where there is only a choice between cowardice and violence, I would advise violence. Thus when my eldest son asked me what he should have done, had he been present when I was almost fatally assaulted in 1908, whether he should have run away and seen me killed or whether he should have used his physical force which he could and wanted to use, and defended me, I told him that it was his duty to defend me even by using violence." - Mahatma Ghandi

Lady Sage

I must confess to giving my cats raspberies on their tummies... they love it and purr when I do it. Sick sage, sick sick!

__________________
If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
Minds are like parachutes, they function best when open.
It`s Easier to Change a Condom Than a Diaper
Yes, the rumors are true... I actually AM a Witch.

longbough

OK, you've got my story beat, Lady Sage.
I'll now confess that I encourage my brother's cat to lick my toes now. I just ignore the look of disgust on my brother's wife's face. BTW - the rough cat tongue feels much better than the dog tongue IMO - even though the dog covers a bigger area and reaches farther.

__________________
"I do believe that, where there is only a choice between cowardice and violence, I would advise violence. Thus when my eldest son asked me what he should have done, had he been present when I was almost fatally assaulted in 1908, whether he should have run away and seen me killed or whether he should have used his physical force which he could and wanted to use, and defended me, I told him that it was his duty to defend me even by using violence." - Mahatma Ghandi

Lady Sage

Ok, this only happened one time.... once was enough...

I once woke up to an odd sensation on my left boob... One of my cats was batting around one of my nipple rings and thought it was a real great toy. I swear I never got out of bed so fast in all my life! Thankfully no damage was done.

__________________
If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
Minds are like parachutes, they function best when open.
It`s Easier to Change a Condom Than a Diaper
Yes, the rumors are true... I actually AM a Witch.

insidious_machinae

I play "motorcycle" with my cats. I played it with my old cat Cheetah (until he died when I was a freshman in college), and now I play it with Mittens (who is just shy of 2).

Basically, plop the cat on it's "butt" (lower back with tail coming under), and turn them to face you. Grab the front legs and hold onto them. Then start making motorcycle sounds and leaning them into turns and stuff. Get louder, change gears, wheelies (lean them backwards), etc. They love it more than me.


I also play "drumset", which involves the same position, but facing away from me. Use the front paws as the sticks, with the feet and belly being the various percussive instruments. Beatbox your own drumkit sound, or play along with the radio. They don't like this one so much...


I also feed all cats earwax. For some reason they love the stuff. I found this out when Cheetah woke me up one night, basically performing cunnilingus on my ear. Wow, just wow.

Fly

i mount our horses every now and again.


does that make me weird.












fuck yeah.

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insidious_machinae

That's the saddest/funniest thing ever.

longbough

lmao - you win again.

__________________
"I do believe that, where there is only a choice between cowardice and violence, I would advise violence. Thus when my eldest son asked me what he should have done, had he been present when I was almost fatally assaulted in 1908, whether he should have run away and seen me killed or whether he should have used his physical force which he could and wanted to use, and defended me, I told him that it was his duty to defend me even by using violence." - Mahatma Ghandi

JustJess

Last night, I held Punkin (the orange one, of course) this way, and we played air guitar to "Love in an Elevator". It was awesome. Q videoed it, I'll have to get that posted... it was so funny!

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My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

ngdawg

Oh, I love mounting horses....count me in as weird

I don't have a silly pet thing, but a friend of mine bought a stroller for her pomeranian because the pavement was hot where they were....he loves it!

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Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

Lady Sage

Nothing like having a horse between yer legs.... Just you the horse and the trees...... *lesigh*

__________________
If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
Minds are like parachutes, they function best when open.
It`s Easier to Change a Condom Than a Diaper
Yes, the rumors are true... I actually AM a Witch.

Fly

nice...............glad you could climb aboard.........

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SterlingStudios

Lady Sage

I allow Abby to be my "food inspector". She wants to sniff what I have to eat just to make sure its OK. She doesnt try to eat it or taste it, she just wants a sniff.

__________________
If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
Minds are like parachutes, they function best when open.
It`s Easier to Change a Condom Than a Diaper
Yes, the rumors are true... I actually AM a Witch.

noodle

Isaac is a very strange cat. Catnip is his favorite treat. I used to grow the fresh stuff for him but he likes the dried almost as much. That animal will fight you to the death to get ahold of the canister and will roll around with it on the floor. I stopped buying bags of it because every time I set it somewhere and left the house without putting it away, I'd come home to a high kitty with seriously dilated eyes who would chase me around the house yowling as I tried to sweep up the mess.
I love to watch him fly around the house, up and over furniture, through all the rooms and I'll wait... and jump out and scare the crap out of him and he'll reverse directions and do the whole thing over again. I also enjoy the tape on the bottom of the paws thing, and I suspect he does too. He used to sleep under the covers with me until the day I found cat hair in a place that I never want to find cat hair in again.
He also knows that if he's patient (and there's no dairy or fish involved), he can usually clean my plate or bowl when I'm done. Stupid twit.

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