HS Reunion--worth it? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

abaya · 08-08-2006, 06:53 AM

So it's time for my 10-year high-school reunion. I've been looking forward to this event for awhile... I wasn't "popular" in HS (I was a science nerd and evangelical, for crying out loud), but I was never bitter about the experience, either. In fact, I really enjoyed it, and I'd like to see how everyone else is doing 10 years on. I knew most people, even if they didn't know me, and I know I'd remember most of their names/faces.

The problem is that the reunion is taking place at the end of October. There is no holiday weekend around that time, so I'd have to take at least a day off to attend. I'd also have to fly from PA to Seattle ($350 right now) for 3 days, at most, and pay an additional $75 for the reunion itself.

If ktspktsp can make it, he'd also have to take a day off and pay the same amount... which is just a heck of a lot of money.

But, it only happens once every ten years, right? Is it worth it?

I always thought it would be, but then again, I actually moved away from my hometown and did pretty cool things with my life. So I feel like the people who are doing anything other than living in their hometown, getting married and making babies, will be too busy or far away to be able to make it to the reunion... and those are the people I really want to see again.

What do you guys think? Did anyone here attend their reunion, and if so, were you glad you went or disappointed? What about those who flew long distances to attend the reunion? Same question.

Thanks!

Grancey · 08-08-2006, 07:04 AM

Go to the reunion. You've done well with your life, and you'll probably have a great time. If you don't, you'll always wonder. I went to a very small high school, and we didn't have reunions. I haven't seen most of my classmates since the day we graduated. And you're right. The ten year reunion only happens once.

Bill O'Rights · 08-08-2006, 07:10 AM

I went to my 10 year reunion back in 1990. I found it to be a waste of time, and money, in that all I really accomplished was to go see a bunch of people, most of whom I didn't really care all that much about in the first place. The ones that I did care about, I still maintained a modicum of contact with. Politics, it seemed, still reigned supreme. Although I had traveled the furthest to attend, and another girl had traveled almost as far...one of the more popular guys received the award for having come the farthest to attend. Some things just don't change.

Although...it was rather amusing to see all of the "jocks" fat and balding working at the hardware store. And the "popular girls" that had become bar flys.

I did not go to my 20th, or my 25th reunion.

Charlatan · 08-08-2006, 07:12 AM

I went to my reunion a few years back... it was great.

Just about everyone I wanted to see was there (including some of the teachers). I ended up going back to a hotel room with a handful of old friends and chatting until sunrise.

I was not a "popular type" in high school. I was a theatre type. The best part of the reunion was seeing all of the very popular jocks and preps. Each of them, without exception, were overweight and bald (not that there's anything wrong with that).

It was just nice to know that I didn't peak in high school...

JustJess · 08-08-2006, 07:16 AM

I didn't go. It was last weekend. I went to a HS friend's wedding that day, but we left to drive the 5 hours home afterwards, rather than going. I saw some pics... I'm not sorry I didn't go because the people I'd want to talk to weren't there. I was pretty conflicted about it, but I think I made the right choice considering everything. Plus I got to see some of those guys at the wedding, and that was nifty.

Now, if I had your perspective, I think I would have gone. You probably should, if you can swing it without it being too difficult. It sounds like you have exactly the right attitude to enjoy it properly.

maleficent · 08-08-2006, 07:21 AM

10 year is not worth going to - i'd be willing to bet that peopel have not changed since high school... same cliques will be there.. same pettiness... unless you want to bragon something.. wait til 20 - people become real at 20...

captobvious · 08-08-2006, 08:06 AM

I would only go if there are people you genuinely want to see at the reunion, not just people you want to brag about stuff to. I'd agree with maleficent that the same cliques will be probably be there. One of my relatives recently went to their 10 year reunion and that's how it turned out. It was kind of like prom again, 10 years later.

Jinn · 08-08-2006, 08:11 AM

With the advent of facebook, I still talk to my high school friends, despite them being in seperate universities nationwide.

I'd still pay <$500 to go. That's me. If money is the only reason stopping you, I'd think hard about how easily you can afford it and if the enjoyment would compare to other things you could get/do for that price.

Toaster126 · 08-08-2006, 08:17 AM

Lots of nerd angst here.

maleficent · 08-08-2006, 08:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toaster126

Lots of nerd angst here.

I wasn't smart enough to be a nerd inmy school - I was a dork... and I maintain 10 years is a waste of time, unless yo have some reason to show off...

pan6467 · 08-08-2006, 09:11 AM

I went to my 15. It was ok, but those that I wanted to see most weren't there.

I was truly looking forward to my 20 year this year (even though the planners sucked and instead of making a weekend affair of it it was supposed to be like a dinner and dance and that's it.)

I was all gung ho to see old friends and knowing there were some good friends who are big in business and recovery, I thought it a good way to make contacts.

However, when I got the letter for the dinner RSVP, I was above pissed and turned off by my "class reps".

Last year, one of the guys in my class died in a car accident, he took 2 people with him in the head on collision, a 3 year old and her mother. He was not only drunk but stoned on cocaine.

This class I graduated with, this class that went to one of the best public schools in Ohio, this class where most of the kids grew up beyond priveledged and had doctor, lawyer, businessmen parents...... had the tasteless, classless audacity to sponsor "a keg in memory of.... (asshole jerkoff, who killed a kid)".

Needless to say, I found this beyond contempt and although I love where I went to school, and a lot of the people I went to school with..... I will not associate nor have anything to do with such ignorant, self indulgent, asswipes.

I will probably try to contact some old friends and maybe meet at the homecoming football game and make a weekend out of it.

And that would in all honesty be my suggestion to anyone thinking of the "reunion" thing. Contact those you were close to, those friends that you hung out with, do a get together/reunion with just them and that way you don't have to fake smile at assholes you would never associate with today.

Sorry to threadjack, but it felt good to get this out.

Eweser · 08-08-2006, 09:44 AM

I attended my 10 year just last month. It was very near my house and didn't cost very much. There were some people I wanted to see, and some that I wanted to see didn't make it. I think if it would have cost me as much as yours will you, I probably wouldn't have gone. As much as I enjoyed my classmates' company, there were still those cliques and grudges and feelings...

ShaniFaye · 08-08-2006, 09:51 AM

My 20th was last month and I didnt go....had no desire whatsoever, first off it would have cost us 100 bucks for me and dave to attend. It was a cash bar and hor dourves.

I didnt really care about seeing anyone that was going, they werent my crowd, and if I didnt like them then, I wasnt gonna like them now. I went to my 5 year and it was so boring and stupid it put me off the 10 year...and subsequently the 20 hehehe

I just couldnt see spending as much money as you're talking about...I never tried to impress them then, dont get me wrong I LOVED high school...just not the people that were on the attending list, so why would I care about showing off that "i've done well" now?

abaya · 08-08-2006, 11:08 AM

Hm, interesting responses here! I guess this touched a nerve for some of you. Thanks, everyone.

For me, the cliques and grudges didn't really get to me. I sorta lived and let live... I had friends who were druggies, dorks, Christians, heathens, nerds, outcasts, and one or two in-crowd acquaintances. They would all come to my parties (I didn't dream of drinking back then, so no alcohol) and have a great time just playing... we had a trampoline and big woods and it was just fun to have all kinds of people there. I had a pretty solid identity as a nerd, athlete, and Christian (at the time), so I didn't care much what other people were doing/thinking about me. But I was very curious about their lives!

I guess I have always been a people-watcher.

I guess I'm just really interested in where everyone is at right now, in their "life course" (sorry, social scientist term)... I don't care so much for comparing myself, as just hearing people's stories, where they've been in the last 10 years. Regardless of their crowd, people have probably gotten married, divorced, had kids, lost loved ones... we're all the same. I don't know if other people have that perspective, but that's fine. I know that regardless of the cliques, we're really all in the same boat anyway.

I guess ever since I taught high school, I realized how petty it all was, and how it came down to everyone basically being a kid and going through those years together... even if I never talked to some of those people (my class had 450+ people). Once you teach high school, the whole thing becomes a lot less negative... you see it for what it is, I guess. Maybe not everyone will see it that way, though.

For example, one of my best friends is dying to go to the reunion, because she still sees herself the way she *thinks* people saw her in HS. She's very successful and pretty now, but in school she had the glasses/braces and was socially awkward. She's bitter and wants to shove it in everyone's face who snubbed her (in her mind, they did). Fine and all, but that's not my thing.

More info: 2 of my closest girl friends are from HS, and we all call/visit each other several times a year, if not more often. We've done that since HS (yes, without the use of Myspace!).

I've also kept in touch with 3-5 of my most important teachers since 6th grade, and even taught alongside some of them when I went back to my old district. They're now my friends. So I wouldn't be going back to see old "best friends" or teachers... they never left my life in the first place.

Basically, it's sheer curiousity about these people with whom I grew up. Not bitterness, not a need to brag, not my own insecurity or regrets or grudges. I just want to see how everyone's doing.

But is that worth $450?

Bill O'Rights · 08-08-2006, 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abaya

Basically, it's sheer curiousity about these people with whom I grew up. Not bitterness, not a need to brag, not my own insecurity or regrets or grudges. I just want to see how everyone's doing.

But is that worth $450?

Well, to me it wouldn't be. But, it sounds as if it just might be to you.

Look...if you even have to question it...then go. By all means...go. Even if it sucks, at least then you'll know that it sucked. As opposed to sitting around wondering if you've missed out on something great. What've you got to loose? $450? You'll make that back up.

maleficent · 08-08-2006, 11:30 AM

you clearly wanna go... go... have a good time... it's only money...

roachboy · 08-08-2006, 11:34 AM

personally, i haven't gone to any high school reunions.
i went to high school in southern new hampshire, for gods sake--i got away as fast as i could and had no interest in going back.

i keep in touch with one friend from those days. i am pleased that has worked out. i have had and lost contact with a few others, but no matter.

i went back to my ridiculous little home town once--it seemed to have been shrunk, like a sweater someone put in the dryer by accident. the longer i was there, the more i did not want to see anyone i knew who stuck around. strangely, the same went for my brother, who is in general the guy who has all the nostalgia neurons that i lack.

i am sure that many of the folk i went to high school with turned into interesting folk and that many others did not. i have heard stories about fugitive hair and expanding waistlines but could not really make myself care. i watched romy and michelle's high school reunion instead.

abaya · 08-08-2006, 11:39 AM

Okay, you guys are telling me that it's obvious I want to go. Maybe it is... I didn't feel that way before, though. I kept thinking of my good friend (the bitter one) and how she is DYING for the reunion, just to rub in her success story... and I guess that's what made me doubt whether I wanted to go. I didn't have any huge driving desire to go... it was just curiousity, I guess, which didn't seem enough to justify $450 for a weekend.

But maybe that's a good enough reason, after all. I dunno. I guess I'll find out.

Cynthetiq · 08-08-2006, 11:49 AM

I went to my 10 and will be going to my 20 in October.

At 10, not many people were married, most still working on their careers. Many of the "spoiled by parents" people didn't attend I believe mostly because they didn't have all much accomplishments compared to others.

I look forward to going for my 20th.

I look forward to them because it is a demarcation point in life where one can easily see where we've come from, not to compare against someone else, but to compare against myself at that time.

We had filled out these forms of things we liked back in 1986, my favorite actor: Tom Cruise, favorite movie: Risky Business, because sometimes in life you gotta say, "What the fuck."

When I went 10 years ago I was with a different girl that I thought maybe we'd get married, since we got along really well and had really good times together. Obviously, that did not happen.

When I left, I was content with my place and how far I came along in some things, disappointed that I didn't go further in others, and jealous that others were living differently than I was. But that's me and my experience and obsession. Ultimately, I'm where I'm supposed to be, but I'm grateful to have the ability to look back objectively and realize just how far I've made it from the awkward high school days.

My best friend will not be going. He's not interested, but hopefully I will stay at his place that weekend.

You have to ask yourself... "Is looking back at the past worth $450?"

snowy · 08-08-2006, 01:36 PM

I'll probably go to my 10-year just because I think I would regret it if I didn't. And in the end, it's not that much of a stretch. I feel sort of wishy-washy on the subject simply because I kind of put high school behind me when I went on to college. It was as if I packed it up in a box and put it away. While I still maintain contact with some high school friends via Facebook and MySpace, I don't feel as if many of us created friendships that would last beyond high school. I have maybe one, two people I really keep in touch with from high school, and they're not even in my class.

I was very much into choir in high school, and part of that choir/theatre/band crowd. We spent all our free time in our own part of the school--the area between the auditorium, choir room, and band room. Because of that, most of the people I would want to see span several classes. There are only maybe six people I want to see from mine, and I wonder sometimes if I could just arrange to see them some other time.

But like I said--I'll probably end up going because I might regret it otherwise. It's not likely I'll regret going. So I'll err on the side of caution.

And abaya--you could always use the time you're NOT spending with former classmates on that trip to look up some of us PacNW TFPers.

abaya · 08-08-2006, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onesnowyowl

most of the people I would want to see span several classes.

Yeah, I was just telling ktspktsp about this today. A lot of my friends came from the class before and after me... 95 and 97. I wish we could have a 3-class reunion, but that wouldn't make much sense I guess.

Quote:

Originally Posted by onesnowyowl

And abaya--you could always use the time you're NOT spending with former classmates on that trip to look up some of us PacNW TFPers.

True, true! Though I would only be home for about 48 hours, so not much time for TFPers unfortunately.

However! I will be in Seattle next week for a longer duration, and though I won't be able to travel much, it would be great to meet any TFP'ers who happen to be in town. I should announce that elsewhere!

Cynthetiq · 08-08-2006, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abaya

Yeah, I was just telling ktspktsp about this today. A lot of my friends came from the class before and after me... 95 and 97. I wish we could have a 3-class reunion, but that wouldn't make much sense I guess.

now that you mention that, I had a number of friends above and below... damn.. wonder what happened to them, I'll have to dust off the yearbooks.

flstf · 08-08-2006, 02:33 PM

I went to my 30th HS reunion. It was interesting being in the same room with all those old people.

Psycho Dad · 08-08-2006, 05:25 PM

I find it ironic that those who were "popular" in my class are the ones on classmates.com damn near begging to hear from old classmates.

Back OT. My class had a 5 year reunion that sucked like a room full of Kirbys. They of course then had a 10 year that was met with even less enthusiasm. The 20 year reunion should have been 3 years ago and I don't think anyone cared enough to even talk about having one. I live next door to a former classmate and I don't think we even nod at each other when we are out in the yard.

If your class is having one and you feel like there is at least one person who seeing again would be worth the trip and expense, go for it.

match000 · 08-09-2006, 12:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill O'Rights

I went to my 10 year reunion back in 1990. I found it to be a waste of time, and money, in that all I really accomplished was to go see a bunch of people, most of whom I didn't really care all that much about in the first place. The ones that I did care about, I still maintained a modicum of contact with. Politics, it seemed, still reigned supreme. Although I had traveled the furthest to attend, and another girl had traveled almost as far...one of the more popular guys received the award for having come the farthest to attend. Some things just don't change.

Although...it was rather amusing to see all of the "jocks" fat and balding working at the hardware store. And the "popular girls" that had become bar flys.

I did not go to my 20th, or my 25th reunion.

I think in this day and age the 'jocks' and 'popular girls' will fare better, with the advent of the internet and whatnot..

Psycho Dad · 08-09-2006, 04:05 AM

The Internet will help them more these days? So the hair growth and weight loss spams are for real? What about those penis enhancement pills 'cause I'll be lookin' in to those.

frogza · 08-09-2006, 06:21 AM

Went to my 10 year and it was a complete waste of time. I saw a lot of old friends but our conversations went something like this. "Hey how are you? What have you beed up to?..................Well, um, it was good to see you"

I've moved on and so have they. We have new friends and new interests. Because of the growing up and going separate ways, we couldn't go back to being good friends again. There just wasn't enough common ground

Ustwo · 08-09-2006, 07:15 AM

I'll have my 20th comming up in 2 years, and I can't think of a single person I'd want to see.

Highschool didn't really mean anything to me, it was just another stepping stone. I recall seeing the girls all teary eyed giving each other hugs at graduation, while I just got in my car and drove home. There was one friend I kept in touch with for a couple of years, but way to much changes from highschool to college to have a lot in common if you don't go to the same schools.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psycho Dad

I find it ironic that those who were "popular" in my class are the ones on classmates.com damn near begging to hear from old classmates.

I think that the main reason is for many of those people, highschool was a highpoint in their life. Must suck peaking at 18.

Redlemon · 08-09-2006, 07:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ustwo

I think that the main reason is for many of those people, highschool was a highpoint in their life. Must suck peaking at 18.

One of the most emotionally crushing songs I've heard was "Diary of a Homecoming Queen", from the musical "Is There Life After High School?" It speaks to your thought directly.

maleficent · 08-09-2006, 07:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ustwo

I'll have my 20th comming up in 2 years, and I can't think of a single person I'd want to see.

I felt the same way about my 20th but I went just because I had nothing better to do and connecticut in october can be nice...

It was fun - and i might see those people again in 20 years for our 40th... my 25th is next year... I passed on it and I think most people did as well... if there are peopel you want to see -you'll see them..

my 20th from college is this year... I have absolutely no desire at all to go to that... I'm not even sure if there's one being planned.. I haven't gotten any alumni stuff from them in years...

abaya · 08-09-2006, 08:55 AM

Yeah, there are quite a few people I'd like to catch up with, I've realized. I just hope they show up. So I'm definitely leaning towards going, though again the cost is rather prohibitive. But if I go this time, I see myself probably skipping out on the 20th or 25th or whatever.

On the other hand, college has absolutely no appeal to me. I don't think I'll ever attend that reunion. I was very involved there, but was completely "sold out" to the university (an evangelical school) and resulting social scene, so there's not a whole lot of appeal to go back to that group of peers again.

Btw, this whole idea of peaking in HS is amusing to me. I never thought of it that way, but it's true. I'm glad that my group of friends and I were dorky enough to still be climbing up, at that point... and we haven't hit our peaks, yet!

rockogre · 08-09-2006, 10:27 AM

Interesting thread. When I graduated from here, I went to college for a year and then joined the Navy. I wasn't even going to come back to this little one horse town ever again. I was a band kid and a Boy Scout, both on the lower end of the social ladder in high school.

My graduating class ran to about 110 kids. 5 years later they sent invitations for a class reunion. I had no intentions of wasting my time but my best friend from high school urged me to go. It was pretty interesting. I had actually left the river valley and travelled more than 100 miles from home. I had seen other countries and lived on the other side of the world. The majority of the folks there had rarely left the state, and many of them had not left town. They considered a trip to Dallas, about 240 miles, to be a major trip.

I enjoyed that reunion and every one since then. Part of it may be because I just said to hell with it and went with the idea that I was as good as anyone there. I flirted with the girls that used to be stuck up, I kidded the jocks that now worked at the farm store, or sold used cars. And I sat with the girls that were friends of mine in the band and that were not cheerleaders and, amazingly enough, many of them had blossomed into beautiful women with personalities and everything. Much more interesting than the cheerleaders.

Several of the guys, that weren't jocks or anything, were into computers and the stock market, owned their own companies, and were the same old good guys they were back in the day.

My point is all this is, the reunion was what I made it to be instead of just going and letting it be what I expected.

Zeraph · 08-09-2006, 12:17 PM

I don't plan on going to any reunions, I just see high school and college as stepping stones. The people worth seeing are already around me. Nothing bitter, just apathy.

abaya · 08-09-2006, 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockogre

Part of it may be because I just said to hell with it and went with the idea that I was as good as anyone there. -snip- My point is all this is, the reunion was what I made it to be instead of just going and letting it be what I expected.

Yup. I totally agree. Which is why I feel like going... I just don't know if I can afford it!! But I guess, in the end, I can.

absorbentishe · 08-09-2006, 12:45 PM

ehh, I went to my 10. Most of the "jocks" were fat and bald, and the "popular" girls were fat and bitchy. My group looked roughly the same, and we drank like no tommorrow too! One of the girls in my group decided to strip, and was the highlight of the evening (even though her boobs were almost on the floor). Most of my old friends went back to my house and partied until the next day. I ran into one of the most popular girls about 6 months ago, and she was waaaaaaaaaaaay over weight, and avoided me like a disease. I still laugh thinking about her. Oh it's been 7 years since my 10, so now I'm creeping on 20, yikes!

abaya · 08-09-2006, 12:51 PM

I have to say, it's interesting that so many posts have talked about the "jocks" and "popular" girls... why were those people so important? (Were we all dorks who envied the "in-crowd?")

I am actually most curious to see what happened to the quiet people in HS... a lot of them were my friends/acquaintances, and I knew they would be peaking far later in life than HS. I want to see what happened to THEM!

Daoust · 08-09-2006, 04:42 PM

Great thread topic.

For some reason or another, I have thought A LOT about my upcoming ten year HS reunion, and it's still 2 YEARS AWAY!!!! I still keep in touch with many of my HS friends, but it's the ones I haven't kept in contact with that I want to run into again.

The big gamble then, is this - will the ones I want to see and catch up with go to the reunion, or will only a bunch of people who I wasn't friends with go? Will it be worth it if the people I want to be there aren't there? I live 15 hours away by car from my old HS, and so I'd have to factor all that in when the time comes, but I wouldn't really care about that stuff.

I have a HS reunion question: Who is responsible for organizing the HS reunion for your graduating year? Is it the student president or is it the valedictorian or can it be anyone with the initiative???

thespian86 · 08-09-2006, 05:12 PM

I don't know if anyone in the world has ever realized this, and the fact i realized it in high school only made me cooler and more popular. The nerds are actually the popular kids (everyone knows them, and talks to them, or atleast about them), the theatre kids are the kings and queens (they run every committee, star in all the productions, talant shows, and related events), and the people who everyone really hates are the "jocks/preps"; we all hated each other too. When I left my "football clique" to join my "theatre clique" my popularity stock, so to speak, sky rocketted.

That said I would love to see some kids fat, ugly, with the whore of the school that they all made fun of plastered and holding on to their arms

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daoust

Great thread topic.

I have a HS reunion question: Who is responsible for organizing the HS reunion for your graduating year? Is it the student president or is it the valedictorian or can it be anyone with the initiative???

I was grad class executive vice president and class president (eek) along with safe grad commitee co-head and numerous other things... oh, and I was valedictornian. Overachiever? It was Grad Class Exec. for us. Hope that's helpful.

Marvelous Marv · 08-09-2006, 05:45 PM

I say go, unless you feel that your current status is going to make you feel inferior. That's unlikely, though because even ten years later, a lot of the people haven't really settled into their ultimate lifestyle, but many of them are doing interesting things. At my 10th and 20th, I pretty much stayed up all night talking to people, some of whom I hardly knew when we were in high school. It was a lot of fun.

There were VERY few people trying to act superior, and it actually felt good to avoid them. It was a kind of catharsis--thinking to yourself "Why would I want to hang around him/her? They're still the same jerk they were in high school."

I went to my 30th, and that will probably be the last one. Everyone just has too little in common now.

But the 10th and 20th? I enjoyed them thoroughly.

Of course, the fact that at my tenth, I wasn't married, and wound up shacking up with a flight attendant I'd only vaguely known in high school may have influenced my attitude.

Seer666 · 08-09-2006, 07:13 PM

I blew my ten year off. In all honesty, I hated most of them, and the ones I did like I'm either still in contact with or have died. Mostly the latter of the two. I thought about showing up just to see how fucked up some of their lives have become, but then I realised, I really don't care. They ment nothing to me then, they mean nothing to me now. I got better things to spend my time and money on.

08-08-2006, 06:53 AM	#1 (permalink)
abaya Location: Iceland	HS Reunion--worth it? So it's time for my 10-year high-school reunion. I've been looking forward to this event for awhile... I wasn't "popular" in HS (I was a science nerd and evangelical, for crying out loud), but I was never bitter about the experience, either. In fact, I really enjoyed it, and I'd like to see how everyone else is doing 10 years on. I knew most people, even if they didn't know me, and I know I'd remember most of their names/faces. The problem is that the reunion is taking place at the end of October. There is no holiday weekend around that time, so I'd have to take at least a day off to attend. I'd also have to fly from PA to Seattle ($350 right now) for 3 days, at most, and pay an additional $75 for the reunion itself. If ktspktsp can make it, he'd also have to take a day off and pay the same amount... which is just a heck of a lot of money. But, it only happens once every ten years, right? Is it worth it? I always thought it would be, but then again, I actually moved away from my hometown and did pretty cool things with my life. So I feel like the people who are doing anything other than living in their hometown, getting married and making babies, will be too busy or far away to be able to make it to the reunion... and those are the people I really want to see again. What do you guys think? Did anyone here attend their reunion, and if so, were you glad you went or disappointed? What about those who flew long distances to attend the reunion? Same question. Thanks! __________________ And think not you can direct the course of Love; for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. --Khalil Gibran

08-08-2006, 07:04 AM	#2 (permalink)
Grancey Life's short, gotta hurry... Location: land of pit vipers	Go to the reunion. You've done well with your life, and you'll probably have a great time. If you don't, you'll always wonder. I went to a very small high school, and we didn't have reunions. I haven't seen most of my classmates since the day we graduated. And you're right. The ten year reunion only happens once. __________________ Quiet, mild-mannered souls might just turn out to be roaring lions of two-fisted cool.

08-08-2006, 07:10 AM	#3 (permalink)
Bill O'Rights will always be an Alyson Hanniganite Location: In the dust of the archives	I went to my 10 year reunion back in 1990. I found it to be a waste of time, and money, in that all I really accomplished was to go see a bunch of people, most of whom I didn't really care all that much about in the first place. The ones that I did care about, I still maintained a modicum of contact with. Politics, it seemed, still reigned supreme. Although I had traveled the furthest to attend, and another girl had traveled almost as far...one of the more popular guys received the award for having come the farthest to attend. Some things just don't change. Although...it was rather amusing to see all of the "jocks" fat and balding working at the hardware store. And the "popular girls" that had become bar flys. I did not go to my 20th, or my 25th reunion. __________________ "I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony "Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

08-08-2006, 07:12 AM	#4 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	I went to my reunion a few years back... it was great. Just about everyone I wanted to see was there (including some of the teachers). I ended up going back to a hotel room with a handful of old friends and chatting until sunrise. I was not a "popular type" in high school. I was a theatre type. The best part of the reunion was seeing all of the very popular jocks and preps. Each of them, without exception, were overweight and bald (not that there's anything wrong with that). It was just nice to know that I didn't peak in high school... __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

08-08-2006, 07:16 AM	#5 (permalink)
JustJess Unencapsulated Location: Kittyville	I didn't go. It was last weekend. I went to a HS friend's wedding that day, but we left to drive the 5 hours home afterwards, rather than going. I saw some pics... I'm not sorry I didn't go because the people I'd want to talk to weren't there. I was pretty conflicted about it, but I think I made the right choice considering everything. Plus I got to see some of those guys at the wedding, and that was nifty. Now, if I had your perspective, I think I would have gone. You probably should, if you can swing it without it being too difficult. It sounds like you have exactly the right attitude to enjoy it properly. __________________ My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

08-08-2006, 07:21 AM	#6 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	10 year is not worth going to - i'd be willing to bet that peopel have not changed since high school... same cliques will be there.. same pettiness... unless you want to bragon something.. wait til 20 - people become real at 20... __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

08-08-2006, 08:06 AM	#7 (permalink)
captobvious Insane Location: Somewhere	I would only go if there are people you genuinely want to see at the reunion, not just people you want to brag about stuff to. I'd agree with maleficent that the same cliques will be probably be there. One of my relatives recently went to their 10 year reunion and that's how it turned out. It was kind of like prom again, 10 years later.

08-08-2006, 08:11 AM	#8 (permalink)
Jinn Lover - Protector - Teacher Location: Seattle, WA	With the advent of facebook, I still talk to my high school friends, despite them being in seperate universities nationwide. I'd still pay <$500 to go. That's me. If money is the only reason stopping you, I'd think hard about how easily you can afford it and if the enjoyment would compare to other things you could get/do for that price. __________________ "I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel

08-08-2006, 08:17 AM	#9 (permalink)
Toaster126 Extreme moderation Location: Kansas City, yo.	Lots of nerd angst here. __________________ "The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand) "The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

08-08-2006, 09:11 AM	#11 (permalink)
pan6467 Lennonite Priest Location: Mansfield, Ohio USA	I went to my 15. It was ok, but those that I wanted to see most weren't there. I was truly looking forward to my 20 year this year (even though the planners sucked and instead of making a weekend affair of it it was supposed to be like a dinner and dance and that's it.) I was all gung ho to see old friends and knowing there were some good friends who are big in business and recovery, I thought it a good way to make contacts. However, when I got the letter for the dinner RSVP, I was above pissed and turned off by my "class reps". Last year, one of the guys in my class died in a car accident, he took 2 people with him in the head on collision, a 3 year old and her mother. He was not only drunk but stoned on cocaine. This class I graduated with, this class that went to one of the best public schools in Ohio, this class where most of the kids grew up beyond priveledged and had doctor, lawyer, businessmen parents...... had the tasteless, classless audacity to sponsor "a keg in memory of.... (asshole jerkoff, who killed a kid)". Needless to say, I found this beyond contempt and although I love where I went to school, and a lot of the people I went to school with..... I will not associate nor have anything to do with such ignorant, self indulgent, asswipes. I will probably try to contact some old friends and maybe meet at the homecoming football game and make a weekend out of it. And that would in all honesty be my suggestion to anyone thinking of the "reunion" thing. Contact those you were close to, those friends that you hung out with, do a get together/reunion with just them and that way you don't have to fake smile at assholes you would never associate with today. Sorry to threadjack, but it felt good to get this out. __________________ I just love people who use the excuse "I use/do this because I LOVE the feeling/joy/happiness it brings me" and expect you to be ok with that as you watch them destroy their life blindly following. My response is, "I like to put forks in an eletrical socket, just LOVE that feeling, can't ever get enough of it, so will you let me put this copper fork in that electric socket?" Last edited by pan6467; 08-08-2006 at 09:16 AM..

08-08-2006, 09:44 AM	#12 (permalink)
Eweser Psycho Location: O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A	I attended my 10 year just last month. It was very near my house and didn't cost very much. There were some people I wanted to see, and some that I wanted to see didn't make it. I think if it would have cost me as much as yours will you, I probably wouldn't have gone. As much as I enjoyed my classmates' company, there were still those cliques and grudges and feelings... __________________ "Whoever wrote this episode should die!"

08-08-2006, 09:51 AM	#13 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	My 20th was last month and I didnt go....had no desire whatsoever, first off it would have cost us 100 bucks for me and dave to attend. It was a cash bar and hor dourves. I didnt really care about seeing anyone that was going, they werent my crowd, and if I didnt like them then, I wasnt gonna like them now. I went to my 5 year and it was so boring and stupid it put me off the 10 year...and subsequently the 20 hehehe I just couldnt see spending as much money as you're talking about...I never tried to impress them then, dont get me wrong I LOVED high school...just not the people that were on the attending list, so why would I care about showing off that "i've done well" now? __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

08-08-2006, 11:08 AM	#14 (permalink)
abaya Location: Iceland	Hm, interesting responses here! I guess this touched a nerve for some of you. Thanks, everyone. For me, the cliques and grudges didn't really get to me. I sorta lived and let live... I had friends who were druggies, dorks, Christians, heathens, nerds, outcasts, and one or two in-crowd acquaintances. They would all come to my parties (I didn't dream of drinking back then, so no alcohol) and have a great time just playing... we had a trampoline and big woods and it was just fun to have all kinds of people there. I had a pretty solid identity as a nerd, athlete, and Christian (at the time), so I didn't care much what other people were doing/thinking about me. But I was very curious about their lives! I guess I have always been a people-watcher. I guess I'm just really interested in where everyone is at right now, in their "life course" (sorry, social scientist term)... I don't care so much for comparing myself, as just hearing people's stories, where they've been in the last 10 years. Regardless of their crowd, people have probably gotten married, divorced, had kids, lost loved ones... we're all the same. I don't know if other people have that perspective, but that's fine. I know that regardless of the cliques, we're really all in the same boat anyway. I guess ever since I taught high school, I realized how petty it all was, and how it came down to everyone basically being a kid and going through those years together... even if I never talked to some of those people (my class had 450+ people). Once you teach high school, the whole thing becomes a lot less negative... you see it for what it is, I guess. Maybe not everyone will see it that way, though. For example, one of my best friends is dying to go to the reunion, because she still sees herself the way she thinks people saw her in HS. She's very successful and pretty now, but in school she had the glasses/braces and was socially awkward. She's bitter and wants to shove it in everyone's face who snubbed her (in her mind, they did). Fine and all, but that's not my thing. More info: 2 of my closest girl friends are from HS, and we all call/visit each other several times a year, if not more often. We've done that since HS (yes, without the use of Myspace!). I've also kept in touch with 3-5 of my most important teachers since 6th grade, and even taught alongside some of them when I went back to my old district. They're now my friends. So I wouldn't be going back to see old "best friends" or teachers... they never left my life in the first place. Basically, it's sheer curiousity about these people with whom I grew up. Not bitterness, not a need to brag, not my own insecurity or regrets or grudges. I just want to see how everyone's doing. But is that worth $450? __________________ And think not you can direct the course of Love; for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. --Khalil Gibran

08-08-2006, 11:30 AM	#16 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	you clearly wanna go... go... have a good time... it's only money... __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

08-08-2006, 11:34 AM	#17 (permalink)
roachboy Super Moderator Location: essex ma	personally, i haven't gone to any high school reunions. i went to high school in southern new hampshire, for gods sake--i got away as fast as i could and had no interest in going back. i keep in touch with one friend from those days. i am pleased that has worked out. i have had and lost contact with a few others, but no matter. i went back to my ridiculous little home town once--it seemed to have been shrunk, like a sweater someone put in the dryer by accident. the longer i was there, the more i did not want to see anyone i knew who stuck around. strangely, the same went for my brother, who is in general the guy who has all the nostalgia neurons that i lack. i am sure that many of the folk i went to high school with turned into interesting folk and that many others did not. i have heard stories about fugitive hair and expanding waistlines but could not really make myself care. i watched romy and michelle's high school reunion instead. __________________ a gramophone its corrugated trumpet silver handle spinning dog. such faithfulness it hear it make you sick. -kamau brathwaite

08-08-2006, 11:39 AM	#18 (permalink)
abaya Location: Iceland	Okay, you guys are telling me that it's obvious I want to go. Maybe it is... I didn't feel that way before, though. I kept thinking of my good friend (the bitter one) and how she is DYING for the reunion, just to rub in her success story... and I guess that's what made me doubt whether I wanted to go. I didn't have any huge driving desire to go... it was just curiousity, I guess, which didn't seem enough to justify $450 for a weekend. But maybe that's a good enough reason, after all. I dunno. I guess I'll find out. __________________ And think not you can direct the course of Love; for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. --Khalil Gibran

08-08-2006, 11:49 AM	#19 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	I went to my 10 and will be going to my 20 in October. At 10, not many people were married, most still working on their careers. Many of the "spoiled by parents" people didn't attend I believe mostly because they didn't have all much accomplishments compared to others. I look forward to going for my 20th. I look forward to them because it is a demarcation point in life where one can easily see where we've come from, not to compare against someone else, but to compare against myself at that time. We had filled out these forms of things we liked back in 1986, my favorite actor: Tom Cruise, favorite movie: Risky Business, because sometimes in life you gotta say, "What the fuck." When I went 10 years ago I was with a different girl that I thought maybe we'd get married, since we got along really well and had really good times together. Obviously, that did not happen. When I left, I was content with my place and how far I came along in some things, disappointed that I didn't go further in others, and jealous that others were living differently than I was. But that's me and my experience and obsession. Ultimately, I'm where I'm supposed to be, but I'm grateful to have the ability to look back objectively and realize just how far I've made it from the awkward high school days. My best friend will not be going. He's not interested, but hopefully I will stay at his place that weekend. You have to ask yourself... "Is looking back at the past worth $450?" __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

08-08-2006, 01:36 PM	#20 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	I'll probably go to my 10-year just because I think I would regret it if I didn't. And in the end, it's not that much of a stretch. I feel sort of wishy-washy on the subject simply because I kind of put high school behind me when I went on to college. It was as if I packed it up in a box and put it away. While I still maintain contact with some high school friends via Facebook and MySpace, I don't feel as if many of us created friendships that would last beyond high school. I have maybe one, two people I really keep in touch with from high school, and they're not even in my class. I was very much into choir in high school, and part of that choir/theatre/band crowd. We spent all our free time in our own part of the school--the area between the auditorium, choir room, and band room. Because of that, most of the people I would want to see span several classes. There are only maybe six people I want to see from mine, and I wonder sometimes if I could just arrange to see them some other time. But like I said--I'll probably end up going because I might regret it otherwise. It's not likely I'll regret going. So I'll err on the side of caution. And abaya--you could always use the time you're NOT spending with former classmates on that trip to look up some of us PacNW TFPers. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

08-08-2006, 02:33 PM	#23 (permalink)
flstf Easy Rider Location: Moscow on the Ohio	I went to my 30th HS reunion. It was interesting being in the same room with all those old people.

08-08-2006, 05:25 PM	#24 (permalink)
Psycho Dad Mulletproof Location: Some nucking fut house.	I find it ironic that those who were "popular" in my class are the ones on classmates.com damn near begging to hear from old classmates. Back OT. My class had a 5 year reunion that sucked like a room full of Kirbys. They of course then had a 10 year that was met with even less enthusiasm. The 20 year reunion should have been 3 years ago and I don't think anyone cared enough to even talk about having one. I live next door to a former classmate and I don't think we even nod at each other when we are out in the yard. If your class is having one and you feel like there is at least one person who seeing again would be worth the trip and expense, go for it. __________________ Don't always trust the opinions of experts.

08-09-2006, 04:05 AM	#26 (permalink)
Psycho Dad Mulletproof Location: Some nucking fut house.	The Internet will help them more these days? So the hair growth and weight loss spams are for real? What about those penis enhancement pills 'cause I'll be lookin' in to those. __________________ Don't always trust the opinions of experts.

08-09-2006, 06:21 AM	#27 (permalink)
frogza Registered User Location: Right Here	Went to my 10 year and it was a complete waste of time. I saw a lot of old friends but our conversations went something like this. "Hey how are you? What have you beed up to?..................Well, um, it was good to see you" I've moved on and so have they. We have new friends and new interests. Because of the growing up and going separate ways, we couldn't go back to being good friends again. There just wasn't enough common ground

08-09-2006, 08:55 AM	#31 (permalink)
abaya Location: Iceland	Yeah, there are quite a few people I'd like to catch up with, I've realized. I just hope they show up. So I'm definitely leaning towards going, though again the cost is rather prohibitive. But if I go this time, I see myself probably skipping out on the 20th or 25th or whatever. On the other hand, college has absolutely no appeal to me. I don't think I'll ever attend that reunion. I was very involved there, but was completely "sold out" to the university (an evangelical school) and resulting social scene, so there's not a whole lot of appeal to go back to that group of peers again. Btw, this whole idea of peaking in HS is amusing to me. I never thought of it that way, but it's true. I'm glad that my group of friends and I were dorky enough to still be climbing up, at that point... and we haven't hit our peaks, yet! __________________ And think not you can direct the course of Love; for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. --Khalil Gibran

08-09-2006, 10:27 AM	#32 (permalink)
rockogre I aim to misbehave! Location: SW Oklahoma	Interesting thread. When I graduated from here, I went to college for a year and then joined the Navy. I wasn't even going to come back to this little one horse town ever again. I was a band kid and a Boy Scout, both on the lower end of the social ladder in high school. My graduating class ran to about 110 kids. 5 years later they sent invitations for a class reunion. I had no intentions of wasting my time but my best friend from high school urged me to go. It was pretty interesting. I had actually left the river valley and travelled more than 100 miles from home. I had seen other countries and lived on the other side of the world. The majority of the folks there had rarely left the state, and many of them had not left town. They considered a trip to Dallas, about 240 miles, to be a major trip. I enjoyed that reunion and every one since then. Part of it may be because I just said to hell with it and went with the idea that I was as good as anyone there. I flirted with the girls that used to be stuck up, I kidded the jocks that now worked at the farm store, or sold used cars. And I sat with the girls that were friends of mine in the band and that were not cheerleaders and, amazingly enough, many of them had blossomed into beautiful women with personalities and everything. Much more interesting than the cheerleaders. Several of the guys, that weren't jocks or anything, were into computers and the stock market, owned their own companies, and were the same old good guys they were back in the day. My point is all this is, the reunion was what I made it to be instead of just going and letting it be what I expected. __________________ Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American G. I. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom

08-09-2006, 12:17 PM	#33 (permalink)
Zeraph Banned Location: The Cosmos	I don't plan on going to any reunions, I just see high school and college as stepping stones. The people worth seeing are already around me. Nothing bitter, just apathy.

08-09-2006, 12:45 PM	#35 (permalink)
absorbentishe Boy am I horny today Location: T O L E D O, Toledo!!	ehh, I went to my 10. Most of the "jocks" were fat and bald, and the "popular" girls were fat and bitchy. My group looked roughly the same, and we drank like no tommorrow too! One of the girls in my group decided to strip, and was the highlight of the evening (even though her boobs were almost on the floor). Most of my old friends went back to my house and partied until the next day. I ran into one of the most popular girls about 6 months ago, and she was waaaaaaaaaaaay over weight, and avoided me like a disease. I still laugh thinking about her. Oh it's been 7 years since my 10, so now I'm creeping on 20, yikes!

08-09-2006, 12:51 PM	#36 (permalink)
abaya Location: Iceland	I have to say, it's interesting that so many posts have talked about the "jocks" and "popular" girls... why were those people so important? (Were we all dorks who envied the "in-crowd?") I am actually most curious to see what happened to the quiet people in HS... a lot of them were my friends/acquaintances, and I knew they would be peaking far later in life than HS. I want to see what happened to THEM! __________________ And think not you can direct the course of Love; for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. --Khalil Gibran

08-09-2006, 04:42 PM	#37 (permalink)
Daoust "I'm sorry. What was the question?" Location: Paradise Regained	Great thread topic. For some reason or another, I have thought A LOT about my upcoming ten year HS reunion, and it's still 2 YEARS AWAY!!!! I still keep in touch with many of my HS friends, but it's the ones I haven't kept in contact with that I want to run into again. The big gamble then, is this - will the ones I want to see and catch up with go to the reunion, or will only a bunch of people who I wasn't friends with go? Will it be worth it if the people I want to be there aren't there? I live 15 hours away by car from my old HS, and so I'd have to factor all that in when the time comes, but I wouldn't really care about that stuff. I have a HS reunion question: Who is responsible for organizing the HS reunion for your graduating year? Is it the student president or is it the valedictorian or can it be anyone with the initiative??? __________________ I have faith in a few things - divinity and grace But even when I'm on my knees I know the devil preys

08-09-2006, 05:45 PM	#39 (permalink)
Marvelous Marv Cunning Runt Location: Taking a mulligan	I say go, unless you feel that your current status is going to make you feel inferior. That's unlikely, though because even ten years later, a lot of the people haven't really settled into their ultimate lifestyle, but many of them are doing interesting things. At my 10th and 20th, I pretty much stayed up all night talking to people, some of whom I hardly knew when we were in high school. It was a lot of fun. There were VERY few people trying to act superior, and it actually felt good to avoid them. It was a kind of catharsis--thinking to yourself "Why would I want to hang around him/her? They're still the same jerk they were in high school." I went to my 30th, and that will probably be the last one. Everyone just has too little in common now. But the 10th and 20th? I enjoyed them thoroughly. Of course, the fact that at my tenth, I wasn't married, and wound up shacking up with a flight attendant I'd only vaguely known in high school may have influenced my attitude. __________________ "The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money." Margaret Thatcher

08-09-2006, 07:13 PM	#40 (permalink)
Seer666 Oh dear God he breeded Location: Arizona	I blew my ten year off. In all honesty, I hated most of them, and the ones I did like I'm either still in contact with or have died. Mostly the latter of the two. I thought about showing up just to see how fucked up some of their lives have become, but then I realised, I really don't care. They ment nothing to me then, they mean nothing to me now. I got better things to spend my time and money on. __________________ Bad spellers of the world untie!!! I am the one you warned me of I seem to have misplaced the bullet with your name on it, but I have a whole box addressed to occupant.