Things that you should never say to your Significant Other - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

JustJess · 03-22-2006, 08:23 AM

Really, my main off-limits language isn't about what words he uses, but how he uses them. Nothing's that bad if you can discuss it and work it out and everyone apologizes for being unnecessarily mean or whatever. When it's an issue? When there's a pattern of behavior that is negatively affecting your partner and you're not willing to adjust that pattern. It wasn't that Q was calling me stupid, it wasn't the WORD, so much as the implied attitude that went with it. It was disrespectful on a regular basis, so that is why I brought it up. I don't generally worry about particular statements past the argument unless they're a recurring theme.

lurkette · 03-22-2006, 09:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carno

Um, so ratbastid could call you a stupid fucking moron who doesn't know jackshit about anything and who would improve the world by killing herself, and you would be fine with that as long as he were tired or stressed or angry when he said it?

Sorry, but there are just certain things that should never be said no matter how tired or stressed or angry a person is. And not just what I said above, but also things like, "fuck off/you" or "I could do better than you."

If we're dealing in hypothetical SO's, then yes, an SO who said that to me would have a lot of explaining to do. It would not, however, be unforgivable.

If, however, we're dealing with real SO's, then ratbastid would never say that and if he did I would KNOW there was something really wrong.

I don't think I said I'd be "fine" with anything ratbastid said, and if I did, I misspoke. There's just not much he could say to me that I would find "inexcusable."

Charlatan · 03-22-2006, 09:48 AM

I guess Astrocloud excused her for her comments: http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=101926

Carno · 03-22-2006, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lurkette

I don't think I said I'd be "fine" with anything ratbastid said, and if I did, I misspoke. There's just not much he could say to me that I would find "inexcusable."

Oops, yeah you didn't say that. I get what you mean now.

serlindsipity · 03-23-2006, 01:49 PM

wow, from all the things ive heard, i have had it easy!

The only thing that got to me is name calling. Jokes are one thing, but a consistant onslaught of such words wears me down. I dont know why, but it does.

however, in comparison to astrocloud's, my experience doesnt seem that hurtful.

Im just wondering why we feel implored to say such things in the first place? have we forgotten that relationships are supposed to be about happiness??

cierah · 03-26-2006, 04:53 PM

The bf once told me I had floppy boobs. I have no idea why. But really - I think that classifies (at least for me) as something you should never say to the SO. Everytime he talks about my breasts now all I hear is 'floppy boobs'.
ps. I have issues with negative self-talk.

03-22-2006, 08:23 AM	#41 (permalink)
JustJess Unencapsulated Location: Kittyville	Really, my main off-limits language isn't about what words he uses, but how he uses them. Nothing's that bad if you can discuss it and work it out and everyone apologizes for being unnecessarily mean or whatever. When it's an issue? When there's a pattern of behavior that is negatively affecting your partner and you're not willing to adjust that pattern. It wasn't that Q was calling me stupid, it wasn't the WORD, so much as the implied attitude that went with it. It was disrespectful on a regular basis, so that is why I brought it up. I don't generally worry about particular statements past the argument unless they're a recurring theme. __________________ My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

03-22-2006, 09:48 AM	#43 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	I guess Astrocloud excused her for her comments: http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=101926 __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

03-23-2006, 01:49 PM	#45 (permalink)
serlindsipity Psycho Location: Boulder Baby!	wow, from all the things ive heard, i have had it easy! The only thing that got to me is name calling. Jokes are one thing, but a consistant onslaught of such words wears me down. I dont know why, but it does. however, in comparison to astrocloud's, my experience doesnt seem that hurtful. Im just wondering why we feel implored to say such things in the first place? have we forgotten that relationships are supposed to be about happiness?? __________________ My third eye is my camera's lens.

03-26-2006, 04:53 PM	#46 (permalink)
cierah Crazy Location: Canada	The bf once told me I had floppy boobs. I have no idea why. But really - I think that classifies (at least for me) as something you should never say to the SO. Everytime he talks about my breasts now all I hear is 'floppy boobs'. ps. I have issues with negative self-talk. __________________ "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories" -Stainslaw J. Lec