Slander Question - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Verticon:: · 12-24-2005, 10:37 PM

I have a situation where someone I know is mailing my family members and random friends information about my personal life that is not accurate. What can I do to stop them? This is causing some instability in my life having to explain what is really happening and family members are annoyed. Even friends say information is not true in these emails.

Rodney · 12-25-2005, 09:50 PM

I'm not a lawyer, just an old-time journalism student. But based on my understanding..

First, if it's written, it's technically libel.

Second, unless he's trying to get you in trouble with the law or something, libel is a civil issue. Which means you've got to 1) go to court, 2) prove his lies actually harmed your reputation, 3) maybe even prove that he _meant_ to harm your reputation by lying (or didn't care whether he did or didn't), and 4) otherwise show, in some monetary sense, how much real damage there is. Some libel cases are settled with the judge awarding the plaintiff some nominal amount of damage, like one dollar -- to say that, yes, he lied about you, but it didn't really harm you.

So I wouldn't depend on the legal system. You might try to see if you can get him in trouble with his Internet provider, though he could always get another one.

The best way is just to compose an email or letter to send to all your friends and relatives explaining the situation and explaining that this individual is trying to cause trouble for some inscrutable reason. Get your friends who know the truth to cosign with you on the email. Then everybody will know what to expect from this guy, and they'll stop paying attention. And he'll stop, too. And of course, all your other friends will know that this guy is a loser -- the best revenge.

Willravel · 12-25-2005, 09:54 PM

For $5, I'll beat him up.

There is a thread here on TFP called "Ask an attorney". I have found him to be quite knowledgable on such things. I suggest you direct your question to him. His legal expertise may be benificial. My offer still stands.

thingstodo · 12-27-2005, 06:10 PM

[QUOTE]For $5, I'll beat him up.[QUOTE]
Are travel expenses additional? If not, I have a few errands for you. I'd rather not dirty my hands!!

Chuckle, chuckle!

Verticon:: · 12-27-2005, 07:29 PM

Its not a him but a her. There are things in there that talk about I may have diseases, that I have done bad things that arent true. There is also personal information about other people in these emails and even their names and information about their families. Her text is directed toward telling members what type of person I am...not how she thinks of me, but she says, "I need to let you know that your son is this". These are inaccurate statements by the way. She also never sent the message to me, but to everyone else. I found out through a family member about them.

shakran · 12-27-2005, 07:41 PM

It sounds to me like all the conditions for libel have been met.

However, what losses can you prove from it? If you lost out on a job opportunity because of this, you can show a loss. If you're just embarassed, it will be harder to convince the court that you lost anything of value.

WillyPete · 12-27-2005, 07:52 PM

Remember, in Libel, the onus is on the person who makes the claims to prove that they are true.

So you should have it all your way.
It might be a bit expensive, but a 'cease and desist' letter from a lawyer might stop her.

shakran · 12-27-2005, 07:56 PM

I don't think he's got a chance at a libel suit. I'd go at it from a harassment angle.

Verticon:: · 12-28-2005, 11:45 AM

You are right about the libel suit. It will probably end up costing some money. I don't mind paying some to teach a person a lesson. I have not lost any money over it, but whatever I spend to prove what she said was wrong, she has to pay me. Proving the disease portion was wrong will make her responsible for many medical bills...even though I will take the heat on those right away.

shakran · 12-28-2005, 07:32 PM

Be careful before you go investing too much money into this expecting that she will have to pay you back for it when it's proven false. She MAY have to pay you back. If you get lucky and the judge orders her to. But what you have to keep in mind is that, even though it's a common misconception, the legal system is not always fair. You may not win. If you win, you may be granted minimal compensation.

Not saying don't do anything, just know what you're up against.

Rodney · 12-29-2005, 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shakran

Be careful before you go investing too much money into this expecting that she will have to pay you back for it when it's proven false. She MAY have to pay you back. If you get lucky and the judge orders her to. But what you have to keep in mind is that, even though it's a common misconception, the legal system is not always fair. You may not win. If you win, you may be granted minimal compensation.

Not saying don't do anything, just know what you're up against.

Also, you can win and she can refuse to pay. Maybe she doesn't actually have money, maybe she hides her assets. Even after you get the judgment, that doesn't mean you get the cash. General Motors is one thing, a weird-ass woman in a rented apartment is another.

If you know her inside a school or institution, maybe you can haul her up on harassment within the school. Get her in trouble that way, especially if she's using their accounts. Maybe somebody else can help here: could he get a restraining order against her to stop doing this, in criminal or civil court? She sounds loopy, like the kind of person who wouldn't stop. But once she violates a restraining order, more things can be done.

tenchi069 · 12-29-2005, 08:00 PM

Go for a restraining order. A judge has the ability to put not only a restraining order into effect ( prohibiting them from contacting you ) but also a gag order regarding anything about you. Go at it from a harassment standpoint. Libel is only good if you think you can hurt them financially, and unless you are a politician, reputation usually doesn't have much "value" to a court.

WillyPete · 01-04-2006, 12:26 PM

There is of course the new ground regarding electronic media, libel and the distributors or publishers of electronic media that can be libellous.

Your ex's ISP might not scan and vet all email (It would also be illegal) and therefore couldn't be held liable for libel too, (as in this case: Link) but if they are made aware that someone is using their service to distribute libellous material and they continue to allow it, you could probably indicate that you would be forced to act if any further libellous emails were sent via them.

This would probably cause them to revoke her account or warn her of terms of use violations and might be enough of a nuisance issue for her to cease her emails.

Nowadays, losing your email account is tantamount to losing your mobile phone number or your drivers license.

thingstodo · 01-05-2006, 04:43 AM

Se'll probably eventually stop. I for myself would ignor it and let everyone know she is nuts.

flstf · 01-05-2006, 06:10 AM

I saw a news show on TV the other night (can't remember which one) where they said that some states like California are passing anti-stalking laws. In almost every case they showed, the stalker mailed derogatory letters to friends and family members. Maybe consult the police and see if one of these laws applies to your situation.

ubertuber · 01-05-2006, 06:43 AM

I think you should take her to People's Court and embarrass the sh*t out of her on TV.

Tachion · 01-10-2006, 12:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Verticon::

I have a situation where someone I know is mailing my family members and random friends information about my personal life that is not accurate. What can I do to stop them? This is causing some instability in my life having to explain what is really happening and family members are annoyed. Even friends say information is not true in these emails.

I can understand that legal remedies could help but it is my experience they seldom do as it can become very difficult to define or prove what was meant or what the 'truth' really is.

You can threaten the person with legal action if they persist and tell them what your case is. If it is strong you may scare them off. If it is really strong you should be able to force them to write a retraction. That may be more effective than actually carrying through with legal action.

You can threaten to return the favour with an even bigger lie about them. Do not do this in writing - no witnesses!! Most of these types cannot take their own medicine, and live in fear others with do to them what they do. Again it is the threat that is intended to get results, not the action of actually doing it.

You can get the people who received the letters to write back and tell her they do not want to hear from her again. This will show they didn't buy it and it has in fact made them choose sides and you are it!

Or you can just pretent it isn't happening. Don't let her see any reaction. This is what I did and it worked great. Drove her nuts so she upped the anty which made it even more obvious she was the problem - not me.
I did nothing -she spend a lot of energy and time destroying her relationships and strengthening mine.

In the end, she did me a great favour by trying to destroy me!

12-24-2005, 10:37 PM	#1 (permalink)
Verticon:: Upright	Slander Question I have a situation where someone I know is mailing my family members and random friends information about my personal life that is not accurate. What can I do to stop them? This is causing some instability in my life having to explain what is really happening and family members are annoyed. Even friends say information is not true in these emails.

12-27-2005, 06:10 PM	#4 (permalink)
thingstodo A Storm Is Coming Location: The Great White North	[QUOTE]For $5, I'll beat him up.[QUOTE] Are travel expenses additional? If not, I have a few errands for you. I'd rather not dirty my hands!! Chuckle, chuckle! __________________ If you're wringing your hands you can't roll up your shirt sleeves. Stangers have the best candy.

12-29-2005, 08:00 PM	#12 (permalink)
tenchi069 Lost Location: One step closer to the padded cell...	Go for a restraining order. A judge has the ability to put not only a restraining order into effect ( prohibiting them from contacting you ) but also a gag order regarding anything about you. Go at it from a harassment standpoint. Libel is only good if you think you can hurt them financially, and unless you are a politician, reputation usually doesn't have much "value" to a court. __________________ ERROR- PLBSAK Problem Lies Between Seat and Keyboard.

01-05-2006, 04:43 AM	#14 (permalink)
thingstodo A Storm Is Coming Location: The Great White North	Se'll probably eventually stop. I for myself would ignor it and let everyone know she is nuts. __________________ If you're wringing your hands you can't roll up your shirt sleeves. Stangers have the best candy.

01-05-2006, 06:43 AM	#16 (permalink)
ubertuber spudly Location: Ellay	I think you should take her to People's Court and embarrass the sht out of her on TV. __________________ Cogito ergo spud* -- I think, therefore I yam

12-25-2005, 09:50 PM	#2 (permalink)
Rodney Observant Ruminant Location: Rich Wannabe Hippie Town	I'm not a lawyer, just an old-time journalism student. But based on my understanding.. First, if it's written, it's technically libel. Second, unless he's trying to get you in trouble with the law or something, libel is a civil issue. Which means you've got to 1) go to court, 2) prove his lies actually harmed your reputation, 3) maybe even prove that he _meant_ to harm your reputation by lying (or didn't care whether he did or didn't), and 4) otherwise show, in some monetary sense, how much real damage there is. Some libel cases are settled with the judge awarding the plaintiff some nominal amount of damage, like one dollar -- to say that, yes, he lied about you, but it didn't really harm you. So I wouldn't depend on the legal system. You might try to see if you can get him in trouble with his Internet provider, though he could always get another one. The best way is just to compose an email or letter to send to all your friends and relatives explaining the situation and explaining that this individual is trying to cause trouble for some inscrutable reason. Get your friends who know the truth to cosign with you on the email. Then everybody will know what to expect from this guy, and they'll stop paying attention. And he'll stop, too. And of course, all your other friends will know that this guy is a loser -- the best revenge.

12-25-2005, 09:54 PM	#3 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	For $5, I'll beat him up. There is a thread here on TFP called "Ask an attorney". I have found him to be quite knowledgable on such things. I suggest you direct your question to him. His legal expertise may be benificial. My offer still stands.

12-27-2005, 07:29 PM	#5 (permalink)
Verticon:: Upright	Its not a him but a her. There are things in there that talk about I may have diseases, that I have done bad things that arent true. There is also personal information about other people in these emails and even their names and information about their families. Her text is directed toward telling members what type of person I am...not how she thinks of me, but she says, "I need to let you know that your son is this". These are inaccurate statements by the way. She also never sent the message to me, but to everyone else. I found out through a family member about them.

12-27-2005, 07:41 PM	#6 (permalink)
shakran Tone.	It sounds to me like all the conditions for libel have been met. However, what losses can you prove from it? If you lost out on a job opportunity because of this, you can show a loss. If you're just embarassed, it will be harder to convince the court that you lost anything of value.

12-27-2005, 07:52 PM	#7 (permalink)
WillyPete Addict	Remember, in Libel, the onus is on the person who makes the claims to prove that they are true. So you should have it all your way. It might be a bit expensive, but a 'cease and desist' letter from a lawyer might stop her.

12-27-2005, 07:56 PM	#8 (permalink)
shakran Tone.	I don't think he's got a chance at a libel suit. I'd go at it from a harassment angle.

12-28-2005, 11:45 AM	#9 (permalink)
Verticon:: Upright	You are right about the libel suit. It will probably end up costing some money. I don't mind paying some to teach a person a lesson. I have not lost any money over it, but whatever I spend to prove what she said was wrong, she has to pay me. Proving the disease portion was wrong will make her responsible for many medical bills...even though I will take the heat on those right away.

12-28-2005, 07:32 PM	#10 (permalink)
shakran Tone.	Be careful before you go investing too much money into this expecting that she will have to pay you back for it when it's proven false. She MAY have to pay you back. If you get lucky and the judge orders her to. But what you have to keep in mind is that, even though it's a common misconception, the legal system is not always fair. You may not win. If you win, you may be granted minimal compensation. Not saying don't do anything, just know what you're up against.

01-04-2006, 12:26 PM	#13 (permalink)
WillyPete Addict	There is of course the new ground regarding electronic media, libel and the distributors or publishers of electronic media that can be libellous. Your ex's ISP might not scan and vet all email (It would also be illegal) and therefore couldn't be held liable for libel too, (as in this case: Link) but if they are made aware that someone is using their service to distribute libellous material and they continue to allow it, you could probably indicate that you would be forced to act if any further libellous emails were sent via them. This would probably cause them to revoke her account or warn her of terms of use violations and might be enough of a nuisance issue for her to cease her emails. Nowadays, losing your email account is tantamount to losing your mobile phone number or your drivers license.

01-05-2006, 06:10 AM	#15 (permalink)
flstf Easy Rider Location: Moscow on the Ohio	I saw a news show on TV the other night (can't remember which one) where they said that some states like California are passing anti-stalking laws. In almost every case they showed, the stalker mailed derogatory letters to friends and family members. Maybe consult the police and see if one of these laws applies to your situation.