SirLance

The wife comes home early and finds her husband in their master bedroom making love to a beautiful, sexy young lady!

"You unfaithful, disrespectful pig! What are you doing? How dare you do this to me the faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving this house, I want a divorce!"

The husband, replies "Wait! Wait a minute! Before you leave, at least listen to what happened!"

"Hmm, I don't know, well, it'll be the last thing I will hear from you. But make it fast, you dirtball!"

The husband begins to tell his story:

"While driving home this young lady asked for a ride. I saw she was so defenseless that I went ahead and allowed her in my car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She mentioned that at she had not eaten for three days. With great compassion I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas that I made for you last night that you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll gain weight; the poor thing practically devoured them.

"Since she was very dirty I asked if she wanted to take a shower. While she was showering, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw her clothes away. Since she needed clothes, I gave her the pair of jeans that you have had for a few years, that you can no longer wear because they are too tight on you. I also gave her the blouse that I gave you on our anniversary and you don't wear because I 'don't have good taste'.

"I gave her the pullover that my sister gave you for Christmas that you will not wear just to bother my sister, and I also gave her the boots that you bought at the expensive boutique that you never wore again after you saw your co-worker wearing the same pair."

She starts to warm up -- just a little -- and he continues:

"The young woman was very grateful to me and I walked her to the door. When we got to the door she turned around and with tears coming out of her eyes, she asks me:

"'Sir, do you have anything else that your wife does not use?'"

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DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

Siege

Hahaha. Good stuff

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"Your name's Geek? Do you know the origin of the term? A geek is someone who bites the heads off chickens at a circus. I would never let you suck my dick with a name like Geek"

--Kevin Smith

This part just makes my posts easier to find

Toaster126

Jokes with a moral. The best kind.

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"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)