nonkem

So a gentleman and a drunk are sitting at a bar together discussing things. And the gentleman says to the drunk, "I bet you that I can get the phone number of any girl in this bar."

"Oh yeah?" says the drunk. "Prove it."

The gentleman walks up to the most beautiful girl in the bar and says to her, "Tickle your cunt with a feather?"

"WHAT!?" replies the woman.

"Oh, I said, typical country weather," says the gentleman.

Feeling very embarrassed, the woman begins to talk to the gentleman and eventually gives him her number.

The gentleman walks back to the drunk and says, "See, that's all there is to it. You say 'Tickle your cunt with a feather.' and when they get upset all you do is tell them that you ment to say 'typical country weather'."

With his new knowledge, the drunk goes up to another beautiful woman and says to her, "HEY! SHOVE A BRICK UP YOUR ASS!"

She looks at him and gasps, "WHAT!?"

He replies, "IT'S FUCKING COLD OUTSIDE!"

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The blood drive is a pyramid scheme perpetrated by Dracula and his blood slaves.

Brewmaniac

Don't ya just love to watch drunks. Thanks

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"That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"