Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Interests > Tilted Humor


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 10-31-2005, 03:58 PM   #1 (permalink)
Junkie
 
SirLance's Avatar
 
Location: In the middle of the desert.
The Amazing Wisdom of Marion Barry

Marion Barry was the mayor of Washington D.C. from 1979 to 1991. His term ended abruptly when the FBI, acting on a tip, got video of Barry using crack cocaine.

Which of course led to one of his most famous quotes: of the FBI informant who set up the sting operation, he complained: "Goddamn bitch set me up!"

He was charged with 3 felonies and 11 misdemeanors, but managed to get all but one charge dismissed; he was sentenced to six months in prison.

Once he was released from prison, he proved the adage that voters "get the politicians they deserve" -- he was elected to the Washington City Council and, two years later, again elected as mayor of the District.

With that background, it is my pleasure to present quotes by the duly elected mayor himself.

"If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very very low crime rate."

"I am clearly more popular than Reagan. I am in my third term. Where's Reagan? Gone after two! Defeated by George Bush and Michael Dukakis no less."

"The contagious people of Washington have stood firm against diversity during this long period of increment weather."

"I promise you a police car on every sidewalk."

"First, it was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club. And second, what can I say? I'm a night owl."

"The laws in this city are clearly racist. All laws are racist. The law of gravity is racist."

"I am making this trip to Africa because Washington is an international city, just like Tokyo, Nigeria or Israel. As mayor, I am an international symbol. Can you deny that to Africa?"

"People have criticized me because my security detail is larger than the president's. But you must ask yourself: are there more people who want to kill me than who want to kill the president? I can assure you there are."

"The brave men who died in Vietnam, more than 100% of which were black, were the ultimate sacrifice."

"People blame me because these water mains break, but I ask you, if the water mains didn't break, would it be my responsibility to fix them then? Would it!?!"

"I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600's. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican."

"What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary?"

"I am a great mayor; I am an upstanding Christian man; I am an intelligent man; I am a deeply educated man; I am a humble man."
__________________
DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.
SirLance is offline  
Old 10-31-2005, 06:24 PM   #2 (permalink)
Addict
 
Vizzini's Avatar
 
Location: Vancouver, BC
lol, is this actually for real?
__________________
Inconceivable!
Vizzini is offline  
Old 10-31-2005, 07:02 PM   #3 (permalink)
Unbelievable
 
cj2112's Avatar
 
Location: Grants Pass OR
I blame Bush.
cj2112 is offline  
Old 10-31-2005, 07:23 PM   #4 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: Maine
I can't believe anyone would say such things. Definitely a great read. Thanks for making me laugh!
pandafaye is offline  
Old 10-31-2005, 09:51 PM   #5 (permalink)
Junkie
 
SirLance's Avatar
 
Location: In the middle of the desert.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vizzini
lol, is this actually for real?
Well, it came from a usually reliable friend...

Don't know for sure, but probably...
__________________
DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.
SirLance is offline  
Old 10-31-2005, 10:40 PM   #6 (permalink)
Free Mars!
 
feelgood's Avatar
 
Location: I dunno, there's white people around me saying "eh" all the time
It's gotta be fuckin' real!

Man...I gotta lay off the weed...
__________________
Looking out the window, that's an act of war. Staring at my shoes, that's an act of war. Committing an act of war? Oh you better believe that's an act of war
feelgood is offline  
Old 11-01-2005, 02:29 AM   #7 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: San Diego, CA
Mostly untrue.

http://www.snopes.com/quotes/barry.htm

But then again, things don't need to be true to be funny
__________________
"Don't believe everything you read on the internet. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose." -- Douglas Adams
Rangsk is offline  
Old 11-01-2005, 02:30 PM   #8 (permalink)
Banned
 
Zeraph's Avatar
 
Location: The Cosmos
Lol, Reminds me of the chapelle show.
Zeraph is offline  
 

Tags
amazing, barry, marion, wisdom

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 04:01 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360