How drunk do you get? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

morlock · 05-31-2003, 11:36 AM

Three men had a very late night drinking Guinness. They left in the early morning hours and went home their separate ways.
The next day, they all met for an early pint, and compared notes about who was drunker the night before.
The first guy claims that he was the most drunk, saying, "I drove straight home and walked into the house. As soon as I got through the door, I blew chunks."
The second guy said, "You think that was drunk? Hell, I got into my car and wrapped my car around the first tree I saw. I don't even have insurance!"
The third guy proclaimed, "Damn, I was the drunkest by far. When I got home, I got into a big fight with the wife, knocked a candle over, and burned the whole house down!"
The room was silent for a moment. Then, the first guy spoke out again, "Listen, guys, I don't think you understand... Chunks is my dog."

DEI37 · 06-01-2003, 07:51 AM

DOH!!! I don't think I would have admitted to that!!!

bhamv · 06-01-2003, 09:24 AM

Heh, this got me chuckling. And yeah, I'd never admit that either.

gloveshot3 · 06-01-2003, 09:26 AM

great

gov135 · 06-01-2003, 12:19 PM

five stars. one of those you file away, hope to tell yourself someday. thanks.

opentocomments · 06-01-2003, 12:51 PM

Omg i was thinking to myself where is this joke going when the third guy said he burned down the house i mean thats not funny but then WOW good one

duckduck · 06-01-2003, 12:56 PM

Didn't expect that. Yeah, he was drunkest (at least, I hope he was

).

Lost-in-Space · 06-01-2003, 01:25 PM

good twist on that one.

Flesh · 06-01-2003, 02:42 PM

hah, good one.

Destrox · 06-01-2003, 06:00 PM

hehe, very good ending, think i've heard it before, but its good nuf' to hear again

Glad-I-Ate-Her · 06-01-2003, 07:02 PM

I haven't heard this classic in a while! Great joke.

Glad

rcarb · 06-01-2003, 08:47 PM

Sick and funny as hell. I'll tell this one a few times at work tomorrow

stankybcn1 · 06-01-2003, 10:17 PM

That's a great twist I liked it

bravo49 · 06-02-2003, 01:03 AM

Great ending

clifclav · 06-02-2003, 09:15 AM

gross but funny. thanks

CSflim · 06-02-2003, 10:32 AM

hrrrmmm... I guess it would be funnier if I knew what the expression "I blew chunks" meant.

txstrosman · 06-02-2003, 11:42 AM

ouch!!!, that one hurts, .........thanks for the chuckle!!!

microdot · 06-02-2003, 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CSflim
hrrrmmm... I guess it would be funnier if I knew what the expression "I blew chunks" meant.

heh, it means he puked.

anyway, i've heard this joke in another form, but i liked this one much better

Atanvarno · 06-02-2003, 05:16 PM

ROFLMAO!!

Very unexpected and "Oh NOOOO!"

Eviltree · 06-02-2003, 06:28 PM

ohhhhhh, thats awesome

greenboy3 · 06-02-2003, 08:30 PM

This is a great one.

Nice twist at the end.

potpie · 06-02-2003, 09:31 PM

Yes, a very surprising joke. Great one.

oblar · 06-02-2003, 09:47 PM

.... I wonder how he looks at his dog now... o_0

MacGnG · 06-02-2003, 11:50 PM

heard it but its funny

lol in answer to the title....
drunk enough

CSflim · 06-03-2003, 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by microdot
heh, it means he puked.

anyway, i've heard this joke in another form, but i liked this one much better

cool, thanks for that,

loganmule · 06-03-2003, 02:32 PM

better to lose the bet than to admit what you did to win it...still a good joke though

YerKidding · 06-03-2003, 04:47 PM

SICK!!! I loved it! ;-)

Stare At The Sun · 06-30-2004, 12:53 AM

oh man. that's so sick. awesome joke!

mordret · 06-30-2004, 01:40 AM

excellent !

Vizzini · 06-30-2004, 07:16 AM

Sick and unexpected.

GREAT!

cameroncrazy822 · 06-30-2004, 09:16 AM

Drunk enough to make the fat girls in the bar look good at 2am...LOL.
Seriously though, just enough to make the evening fun but not too much to endanger myself or others.

Delvid · 06-30-2004, 11:49 AM

I am using that one next time i am drunk. If I can remember.

ssander9 · 06-30-2004, 12:19 PM

very good joke!

bahula04 · 06-30-2004, 08:40 PM

Spanxxx · 07-01-2004, 06:03 AM

fantastic joke. good twist.

Sargeman · 07-04-2004, 09:19 AM

After reading that, I almost started blowing chu..... err I mean laughing my ass off!!

Blackthorn · 07-04-2004, 01:40 PM

Excellent!

loganmule · 07-04-2004, 10:08 PM

terrific joke...I can't wait to share it with a heavy drinking Irish friend of mine

cheeterbo · 07-06-2004, 07:22 PM

so fucking funny I am blowing chunks

05-31-2003, 11:36 AM	#1 (permalink)
morlock Loser	How drunk do you get? Three men had a very late night drinking Guinness. They left in the early morning hours and went home their separate ways. The next day, they all met for an early pint, and compared notes about who was drunker the night before. The first guy claims that he was the most drunk, saying, "I drove straight home and walked into the house. As soon as I got through the door, I blew chunks." The second guy said, "You think that was drunk? Hell, I got into my car and wrapped my car around the first tree I saw. I don't even have insurance!" The third guy proclaimed, "Damn, I was the drunkest by far. When I got home, I got into a big fight with the wife, knocked a candle over, and burned the whole house down!" The room was silent for a moment. Then, the first guy spoke out again, "Listen, guys, I don't think you understand... Chunks is my dog."

06-01-2003, 07:51 AM	#2 (permalink)
DEI37 Go faster! Location: Wisconsin	DOH!!! I don't think I would have admitted to that!!! __________________ Generally speaking, if you were to get what you really deserve, you might be unpleasantly surprised.

06-01-2003, 12:51 PM	#6 (permalink)
opentocomments Psycho Location: St. Louis	Omg i was thinking to myself where is this joke going when the third guy said he burned down the house i mean thats not funny but then WOW good one __________________ How do we know that the sky is not green and we are all color-blind?

06-01-2003, 12:56 PM	#7 (permalink)
duckduck Psycho Location: Where hockey pucks run rampant	Didn't expect that. Yeah, he was drunkest (at least, I hope he was ). __________________ Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way!

06-01-2003, 01:25 PM	#8 (permalink)
Lost-in-Space Upright Location: Jupiter 2	good twist on that one. __________________ The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Groucho Marx (1890-1977)

06-01-2003, 09:24 AM	#3 (permalink)
bhamv Upright	Heh, this got me chuckling. And yeah, I'd never admit that either.

06-01-2003, 09:26 AM	#4 (permalink)
gloveshot3 Crazy	great

06-01-2003, 12:19 PM	#5 (permalink)
gov135 Junkie Location: Midwest	five stars. one of those you file away, hope to tell yourself someday. thanks.

06-01-2003, 02:42 PM	#9 (permalink)
Flesh Psycho	hah, good one.

06-01-2003, 06:00 PM	#10 (permalink)
Destrox Metal and Rock 4 Life Location: Phoenix	hehe, very good ending, think i've heard it before, but its good nuf' to hear again __________________ You bore me.... next.

06-01-2003, 07:02 PM	#11 (permalink)
Glad-I-Ate-Her Junkie Location: 1 mile from Ground Zero	I haven't heard this classic in a while! Great joke. Glad __________________ I'm "Glad I Ate Her" because the payback was worth it!!

06-01-2003, 08:47 PM	#12 (permalink)
rcarb Insane Location: NorCal	Sick and funny as hell. I'll tell this one a few times at work tomorrow

06-01-2003, 10:17 PM	#13 (permalink)
stankybcn1 Junkie	That's a great twist I liked it __________________ I'll Throw You!

06-02-2003, 01:03 AM	#14 (permalink)
bravo49 Junkie Location: chocolate city	Great ending

06-02-2003, 09:15 AM	#15 (permalink)
clifclav absolute relativist Location: D.C.	gross but funny. thanks __________________ Neither rain , nor cold, nor dark of night shall.......ahh whatever, just get me a beer!

06-02-2003, 05:16 PM	#19 (permalink)
Atanvarno Tilted Location: Norway	ROFLMAO!! Very unexpected and "Oh NOOOO!" __________________ Memorization is a poor excuse for intelligence." - Cesar Martinez-Garza (1973 ->) -

06-02-2003, 09:31 PM	#22 (permalink)
potpie Upright Location: CA	Yes, a very surprising joke. Great one. __________________ "Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam" (I have a catapult. Give me all your money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.)

06-30-2004, 12:53 AM	#28 (permalink)
Stare At The Sun Eh? Location: Somewhere over the rainbow	oh man. that's so sick. awesome joke!

06-30-2004, 01:40 AM	#29 (permalink)
mordret Tilted Location: Metz, France	excellent !

06-02-2003, 10:32 AM	#16 (permalink)
CSflim Sky Piercer Location: Ireland	hrrrmmm... I guess it would be funnier if I knew what the expression "I blew chunks" meant. __________________

06-02-2003, 11:42 AM	#17 (permalink)
txstrosman Crazy	ouch!!!, that one hurts, .........thanks for the chuckle!!!

06-02-2003, 06:28 PM	#20 (permalink)
Eviltree Psycho Location: British Columbia	ohhhhhh, thats awesome

06-02-2003, 08:30 PM	#21 (permalink)
greenboy3 Crazy	This is a great one. Nice twist at the end.

06-02-2003, 09:47 PM	#23 (permalink)
oblar Über-Rookie Location: No longer, D.C	.... I wonder how he looks at his dog now... o_0 __________________ "All that we can do is just survive. .All that we can do to help ourselves is stay alive." - Rush

06-02-2003, 11:50 PM	#24 (permalink)
MacGnG Know Where!	heard it but its funny lol in answer to the title.... drunk enough

06-03-2003, 02:32 PM	#26 (permalink)
loganmule Junkie Location: midwest	better to lose the bet than to admit what you did to win it...still a good joke though

06-03-2003, 04:47 PM	#27 (permalink)
YerKidding Insane Location: Arkanstone	SICK!!! I loved it! ;-)

06-30-2004, 07:16 AM	#30 (permalink)
Vizzini Addict Location: Vancouver, BC	Sick and unexpected. GREAT! __________________ Inconceivable!

06-30-2004, 09:16 AM	#31 (permalink)
cameroncrazy822 Junkie Location: MD	Drunk enough to make the fat girls in the bar look good at 2am...LOL. Seriously though, just enough to make the evening fun but not too much to endanger myself or others.

06-30-2004, 11:49 AM	#32 (permalink)
Delvid Insane Location: Missouri	I am using that one next time i am drunk. If I can remember.

06-30-2004, 12:19 PM	#33 (permalink)
ssander9 Amplitude Modulator Location: US	very good joke! __________________ I never said you had to.

07-01-2004, 06:03 AM	#35 (permalink)
Spanxxx Psycho Location: Under my roof	fantastic joke. good twist. __________________ I think that's what they mean by "nickels a day can feed a child." I thought, "How could food be so cheap over there?" It's not, they just eat nickels. - (supposedly) Peter Nguyen, internet hero

07-04-2004, 09:19 AM	#36 (permalink)
Sargeman Insane Location: Texas	After reading that, I almost started blowing chu..... err I mean laughing my ass off!! __________________ ...because there are no facts, there is no truth, just data to be manipulated. I can get you any results you like, what's it worth to you.....

07-04-2004, 01:40 PM	#37 (permalink)
Blackthorn Beware the Mad Irish Location: Wish I was on the N17...	Excellent! __________________ What are you willing to give up in order to get what you want?

07-04-2004, 10:08 PM	#38 (permalink)
loganmule Junkie Location: midwest	terrific joke...I can't wait to share it with a heavy drinking Irish friend of mine

07-06-2004, 07:22 PM	#39 (permalink)
cheeterbo Crazy Location: newyork	so fucking funny I am blowing chunks