At the market
 

A guy is in a line at the supermarket when he notices that the
rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello
to him.

He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and
although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he
says "Sorry do you know me?"

She replies "I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of
one of my children!"

His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been
unfaithful..."Christ!" he says "Are you that strip-o-gram on my stag
night that I shagged on the snooker table in front of all my mates
whilst your mate whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up
my @rse?"

"No," she replies, "I'm your sons' English Teacher."

This is great! Made me laugh! Thanks