Office Donut Etiquette - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Mister Coaster · 07-19-2005, 09:11 AM

Please note, this rant was written by me purely for entertainment / comedy only. I know it's a lot to read, but you may find it entertaining, educational and perhaps a call to action...

***WARNING EXPLICIT LANGUAGE***

Even though I'm currently on a diet, it has come to my attention recently that there needs to be a narrative in regards to the proper techniques of consuming donuts while at the office. I'm not talking about the age old debate of whether to dunk or not to dunk, this is purely a personal issue, and to each their own. No, I'm taking about absolute DOs and DON'Ts that will greatly affect the outcome of one's morning, or perhaps (seeing how the morning sets the mood for things to come) one's entire day.

Allow me to paint a picture, if you will... You wake up on a Monday morning. Since you didn't hit the lotto or break the bank on a weekend Vegas run, your sad and pathetic existence is once again forcing you to go to work, just like millions of other middle-class schlubs. You reach into your retirement account in order to pay for gas, you get cut off by some jackass in a beemer and traffic is heavy as usual. A quick glance at your watch tells you that you are staring down yet another 7:05 arrival. Without question, your pain-in-the-ass boss will be pulling you into his/her office to talk over your consistent punctuality issues, again. Of course that won't happen until at least 9:30 when he/she actually strolls into the office and reviews the morning punches. As you lumber into the poorly-lit break room for your usual morning cup of God-awful coffee you see it... A strange, bright, colorful shape... a color usually reserved for girl's rooms and the Barbie aisle at Toys-R-Us. Yes! There it is! That familiar pink rectangle of salvation. Someone has done the unbelievable, they sprang for DONUTS!!! And now, it's your turn!

That's right, donuts! A highly-sugared dough, fried in fat and covered in yet more sugar. This food, by all accounts, should be a dessert. Not just a dessert, but a gourmet dessert, reserved for only the most special occasions. Yet, by the grace of God, they ended up on the breakfast menu. Yep, it's OK to have this artery blocking, high-carb, high-fat confection as the first meal of the day! And there they sit, only 10 short feet away.

Instantly all lingering memories of whatever crappy things that just happened prior to this point in the morning melt away. Sure, you could have stopped in and paid less than one dollar for a donut on your way into work, but you didn't, did you? No, the fact that someone else did the work and even sprang for the whole lot of them makes it all the sweeter. Visions of the many variations of donuts start dancing around in your head. Perhaps you will choose the chocolate iced long-john? Maybe you prefer the classic multi-colored sprinkled or glazed old fashioned? A pink cruller today? Dare you hope for the holy grail, the apple fritter... still warm from the deep fryer? Then again, the ultimate sin may await, the Bavarian crème filled, chocolate iced. Yes, the saliva is already flowing as you stride purposefully toward the pink vessel of the gods. (and perhaps you salivate now as you read this) Yes, my friend, you are about to eat a free donut.

You make the walk to the box, with a smile on your face. You reach out your hand as your heart skips a beat in anticipation for what you are about to partake of. You open the lid with all the fervor of a triumphant Olympic gold medalist. What do you see? Your favorite donut? No. Your second favorite? No. Your least favorite (which still probably scores a 4 out of 5 stars) donut? No sir, no ma'am. What you see are three nasty-ass HALVES of donuts, which have been scorned and tossed back like an undersized bass onto the remaining piece of square waxed-paper. That's right, some inconsiderate prick has done the unthinkable. They have eaten a half of a donut and left the other half in the box. Not only has it happened once, but THREE TIMES! Those 3 halves might as well be infested with the fleas of a thousand camels and covered with warm diarrhea, because nobody, I mean NOBODY wants to pick up a goddamed half-eaten donut.

Your eyes bug out in horror. Your palms sweat and clench into fists. Life moves in slow motion as you raise your fisted arms above your head and cry out "Nooooooooooooo!" Your emotions have gone from the near tip top of nirvana to the brutal depths of the most inner circle of Hell. This is even worse than finding the box empty. At least with an empty box you can say that you never had a chance. But with the helpless halves just sitting there, you know that it could have been yours.

Why would someone leave a nasty-ass half eaten donut in the magic pink box? Here are some possible excuses that the weak-minded and inconsiderate may try and pass off...

1. I'm on a diet.
OK, fatass, if you are truly on a diet, I can guarantee you that no matter what program you are on, it doesn't allow for a donut for breakfast. Donuts are high fat, high sugar and high carb. If you think that half a donut is OK when a whole donut wouldn't be you are only fooling yourself and are a cheating little cheater and your diet is a sham. Leave the donuts for the other fatasses that don't give a shit about their ever-expanding guts.

2. I already ate breakfast and I wasn't that hungry.
Not hungry? Not a good reason, because a single donut just doesn't fill you up much at all. I can easily polish off a half dozen without even feeling the least bit full. Besides if you aren't hungry, why would you have anything more at all? Leave them for those who have had nothing.

3. I have (fill in the blank condition) and I really shouldn't eat a whole donut.
Much like the assholes that are on a diet, if you shouldn't eat a whole donut, the same reason stands for why you shouldn't eat a half of one. Your body doesn't care if its just a half, it will still not be able to process whatever it is in the donut that you can't take, maybe we'll all get lucky and you'll die. Just walk away.

4. I don't really like donuts.
WHAT?!?! If you don't like donuts, you better start growing that little mustache and practicing the right-handed, open palm salute because you, my friend, are a Nazi. That's right, you are just a goosestep away from book burning and genocide if you don't like something as American as a donut. Besides, if you really don't like them, why do you like only half of one? Go eat a bowl kraut, Adolph, we don't want your kind crapping up our donuts!

5. I didn't actually eat half and put it back, I just broke it in two.
Don't care, don't care, don't care! So what if you didn't actually gnaw on it? It's still nasty. Even if you touched only the side you ate, and broke off your side by wedging the helpless donut against the side of the box, its STILL a nasty-ass half-eaten donut. I can walk through a pile of horse shit with a smile on my face. (did it in marching band) I can walk by the most rancid puddle of puke at the exit ramp of a roller coaster without so much as a wrinkle of my nose. I can watch those medical trauma shows while eating spaghetti. But nothing turns my stomach like seeing some nasty-ass half-eaten donut staring me in the face.

6. I know there are others like me, I left half for them.
Nope! That won't fly either. Why? Because if someone as inconsiderate as a half donut eater exists, they sure as hell don't want the half that's already sitting there, they want a fresh half. That way even more people will be disgusted by the sheer magnitude of your selfishness.

If there are other excuses, I'm sure they are all equally weak and easily torn apart.

With this in mind, here are the proper procedures for eating a free donut out of the pink box of wonder while at the office...

1. Take one, and only one whole donut.
2. Use a napkin or otherwise touch only the one whole donut you have chosen.
3. Ask around the office to find out who actually brought them.
4. Thank that person from the bottom of your soul for their generosity and sacrifice.
5. Go back for seconds if, and only if, everyone has already gotten one or the person who has purchased them says it's OK.
6. If you take the last donut, throw away the box, and bury it deep in the trash. That way, nobody who shows up later than you will be disappointed.
7. Make a vow to yourself to return the favor sometime in the future.

There, it's that simple.

Now, for those of you who still insist on eating only half of a donut, I spit upon you. However, in order to make other people's lives better... Take the whole fuckin' donut, eat half and do something with the other half. You could just throw it away, but bury it deep, I don't want evidence that assholes like you exist. Feed it to the birds, make them fat, that's kind of funny. Save it for tomorrow. Or maybe you can dunk it in water, smash it down and roll it up into a ball then shove it up your ass. With any luck it will rot and you'll die of ass cancer.

Charlatan · 07-19-2005, 09:29 AM

boy... someone has issues.

I don't have a problem with a half eaten doughnut in the box. I either eat around it, eat it, or don't take a doughnut.

You also left off... what if they cut it with a knife? (i.e. held onto the side they wanted to eat and sliced it off...

doodlebird · 07-19-2005, 10:00 AM

i will eat any doughnut, any time.
i'd brush aside dog hairs, lick through fingerprints, possibly ignore a little spittle.
i cannot say that i'd forgo all hygeine for any other food.
i share your admiration and love for the doughnut.
but not your irrational predujice against half doughnuts.
for what is a whole doughnut, but two halves still fused together?
i bet you wouldn't eat an amputee either.

you, mr coaster, need more sleep. zzzzzz.....
thank you for your point of view.
if only there were more like you,
all the half donuts in the world could be mine....
all.... mine!!!!!

Raw Kuts · 07-19-2005, 01:13 PM

more half doughnuts for me then =)

ShaniFaye · 07-19-2005, 01:45 PM

bavarian cream chocolate covered are my FAVS

in our office its the ones that come in the green and white box that incite the joys you listed...and we have a rule...no matter who brings them I, being the only female where I work, get the first one :-)

TM875 · 07-19-2005, 05:45 PM

Having made donuts for a living (and I still do it part-time just for fun - in fact, I made today's donuts for my store), I can tell you all that there is a HUGE demand for those sugared little treats.

And you don't like donuts after making them ad nasuem. They are, however, nature's sweetest indulgence and a thing of beauty.

HLP · 07-19-2005, 09:09 PM

I was just talking about something like this with my dad. Every year when its his birthday he has to bring in donuts or something to work for everyone to have. Its an unwritten rule because if you dont they hound you. So every year he brings this stuff and every year he has people come to his desk and take some without asking or saying thank you or please. People from other departments come even who dont even know my dad! They post birthdays in the monthly newsletter so they know when and where to go.

Some people just make work suck even more.

StanT · 07-20-2005, 06:59 AM

Hmmm, am I the only one that won't touch those sugar coated grease sponges?

JustJess · 07-20-2005, 07:12 AM

You are definitely alone on that.
I could have had a gourmet three-course breakfast, and if I come in to see fresh, hot, glazed Krispy Kremes... oh, man. There better be two boxes, cause I can't eat just one. (I do wait until much later for the second one, however.) They are beautiful things of beautiful stuff.

ShaniFaye · 07-20-2005, 07:23 AM

There is honestly not a whole lot better in life than a box of Krispy Kremes right off the rollers.

luckily for me there isnt one anywhere near work

Bill O'Rights · 07-20-2005, 08:51 AM

Krispy Kremes are overrated, in my book. Not that I'm gonna turn 'em down, mind you. But I much prefer the local independents. Or, barring that, Winchell's is good. Dunkin' Donuts is better. But, unfortunately, no DD in Omaha. Sad for me. But, my recent trip to Cleveland yielded a Dunkin' Donuts not half a block away from my hotel. Ah, sweet bliss...

ShaniFaye · 07-20-2005, 08:55 AM

oh no BOR....Im so disappointed in you....DD is NOT better than KK....but I guess if you're more of a cake donut fan...which Im def NOT, then DD would be better.

Charlatan · 07-20-2005, 08:59 AM

I much prefer a Tim Horton's doughnut over a Krispy Kreme... not that they aren't good I just find them a bit too sweat and a bit to wet.

Tim's or Country Style or Coffee Time have the more tradition doughnut that I prefer.

My favourite is sour creme glazed... all that heavy doughy goodness and sticky glaze with just the right amount of, not crunchy, but not melted glaze.

Mister Coaster · 07-20-2005, 10:10 AM

I have to admit, Krispy Kermes are good, but overrated. If not overrated, definately overpriced. That's why I opted for the familiar pink box.

BTW, about the original post. I've always been a fan of Dennis Miller, and his "rants." This was just my attempt at his style. But I do dislike seeing halves of donuts left in the box...

doodlebird · 07-21-2005, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mister Coaster

BTW, about the original post. I've always been a fan of Dennis Miller, and his "rants." This was just my attempt at his style. But I do dislike seeing halves of donuts left in the box...

good attempt, señor coaster.
i like denise miller too.
at least, i used too.
not so much into the talk show thing he does these days.

thanks for letting us play along with your Donut-Rage.
uhhh, so what else makes you mad?

CSflim · 07-21-2005, 07:46 PM

very funny. Maybe you should try http://www.ventanger.com/ (one of Hal's other sites).

Sleepyjack · 07-24-2005, 07:24 PM

Nice, this was quite good

Although, what's worse? if the 3 people had taken only a half a donut each, or if they had taken 3 whole ones, leaving nothing whatsoever for yourself?

I have low standards, so i could probably eat half a donut

07-19-2005, 09:11 AM	#1 (permalink)
Mister Coaster Big & Brassy Location: The "Canyon"	Office Donut Etiquette Please note, this rant was written by me purely for entertainment / comedy only. I know it's a lot to read, but you may find it entertaining, educational and perhaps a call to action... *WARNING EXPLICIT LANGUAGE* Even though I'm currently on a diet, it has come to my attention recently that there needs to be a narrative in regards to the proper techniques of consuming donuts while at the office. I'm not talking about the age old debate of whether to dunk or not to dunk, this is purely a personal issue, and to each their own. No, I'm taking about absolute DOs and DON'Ts that will greatly affect the outcome of one's morning, or perhaps (seeing how the morning sets the mood for things to come) one's entire day. Allow me to paint a picture, if you will... You wake up on a Monday morning. Since you didn't hit the lotto or break the bank on a weekend Vegas run, your sad and pathetic existence is once again forcing you to go to work, just like millions of other middle-class schlubs. You reach into your retirement account in order to pay for gas, you get cut off by some jackass in a beemer and traffic is heavy as usual. A quick glance at your watch tells you that you are staring down yet another 7:05 arrival. Without question, your pain-in-the-ass boss will be pulling you into his/her office to talk over your consistent punctuality issues, again. Of course that won't happen until at least 9:30 when he/she actually strolls into the office and reviews the morning punches. As you lumber into the poorly-lit break room for your usual morning cup of God-awful coffee you see it... A strange, bright, colorful shape... a color usually reserved for girl's rooms and the Barbie aisle at Toys-R-Us. Yes! There it is! That familiar pink rectangle of salvation. Someone has done the unbelievable, they sprang for DONUTS!!! And now, it's your turn! That's right, donuts! A highly-sugared dough, fried in fat and covered in yet more sugar. This food, by all accounts, should be a dessert. Not just a dessert, but a gourmet dessert, reserved for only the most special occasions. Yet, by the grace of God, they ended up on the breakfast menu. Yep, it's OK to have this artery blocking, high-carb, high-fat confection as the first meal of the day! And there they sit, only 10 short feet away. Instantly all lingering memories of whatever crappy things that just happened prior to this point in the morning melt away. Sure, you could have stopped in and paid less than one dollar for a donut on your way into work, but you didn't, did you? No, the fact that someone else did the work and even sprang for the whole lot of them makes it all the sweeter. Visions of the many variations of donuts start dancing around in your head. Perhaps you will choose the chocolate iced long-john? Maybe you prefer the classic multi-colored sprinkled or glazed old fashioned? A pink cruller today? Dare you hope for the holy grail, the apple fritter... still warm from the deep fryer? Then again, the ultimate sin may await, the Bavarian crème filled, chocolate iced. Yes, the saliva is already flowing as you stride purposefully toward the pink vessel of the gods. (and perhaps you salivate now as you read this) Yes, my friend, you are about to eat a free donut. You make the walk to the box, with a smile on your face. You reach out your hand as your heart skips a beat in anticipation for what you are about to partake of. You open the lid with all the fervor of a triumphant Olympic gold medalist. What do you see? Your favorite donut? No. Your second favorite? No. Your least favorite (which still probably scores a 4 out of 5 stars) donut? No sir, no ma'am. What you see are three nasty-ass HALVES of donuts, which have been scorned and tossed back like an undersized bass onto the remaining piece of square waxed-paper. That's right, some inconsiderate prick has done the unthinkable. They have eaten a half of a donut and left the other half in the box. Not only has it happened once, but THREE TIMES! Those 3 halves might as well be infested with the fleas of a thousand camels and covered with warm diarrhea, because nobody, I mean NOBODY wants to pick up a goddamed half-eaten donut. Your eyes bug out in horror. Your palms sweat and clench into fists. Life moves in slow motion as you raise your fisted arms above your head and cry out "Nooooooooooooo!" Your emotions have gone from the near tip top of nirvana to the brutal depths of the most inner circle of Hell. This is even worse than finding the box empty. At least with an empty box you can say that you never had a chance. But with the helpless halves just sitting there, you know that it could have been yours. Why would someone leave a nasty-ass half eaten donut in the magic pink box? Here are some possible excuses that the weak-minded and inconsiderate may try and pass off... 1. I'm on a diet. OK, fatass, if you are truly on a diet, I can guarantee you that no matter what program you are on, it doesn't allow for a donut for breakfast. Donuts are high fat, high sugar and high carb. If you think that half a donut is OK when a whole donut wouldn't be you are only fooling yourself and are a cheating little cheater and your diet is a sham. Leave the donuts for the other fatasses that don't give a shit about their ever-expanding guts. 2. I already ate breakfast and I wasn't that hungry. Not hungry? Not a good reason, because a single donut just doesn't fill you up much at all. I can easily polish off a half dozen without even feeling the least bit full. Besides if you aren't hungry, why would you have anything more at all? Leave them for those who have had nothing. 3. I have (fill in the blank condition) and I really shouldn't eat a whole donut. Much like the assholes that are on a diet, if you shouldn't eat a whole donut, the same reason stands for why you shouldn't eat a half of one. Your body doesn't care if its just a half, it will still not be able to process whatever it is in the donut that you can't take, maybe we'll all get lucky and you'll die. Just walk away. 4. I don't really like donuts. WHAT?!?! If you don't like donuts, you better start growing that little mustache and practicing the right-handed, open palm salute because you, my friend, are a Nazi. That's right, you are just a goosestep away from book burning and genocide if you don't like something as American as a donut. Besides, if you really don't like them, why do you like only half of one? Go eat a bowl kraut, Adolph, we don't want your kind crapping up our donuts! 5. I didn't actually eat half and put it back, I just broke it in two. Don't care, don't care, don't care! So what if you didn't actually gnaw on it? It's still nasty. Even if you touched only the side you ate, and broke off your side by wedging the helpless donut against the side of the box, its STILL a nasty-ass half-eaten donut. I can walk through a pile of horse shit with a smile on my face. (did it in marching band) I can walk by the most rancid puddle of puke at the exit ramp of a roller coaster without so much as a wrinkle of my nose. I can watch those medical trauma shows while eating spaghetti. But nothing turns my stomach like seeing some nasty-ass half-eaten donut staring me in the face. 6. I know there are others like me, I left half for them. Nope! That won't fly either. Why? Because if someone as inconsiderate as a half donut eater exists, they sure as hell don't want the half that's already sitting there, they want a fresh half. That way even more people will be disgusted by the sheer magnitude of your selfishness. If there are other excuses, I'm sure they are all equally weak and easily torn apart. With this in mind, here are the proper procedures for eating a free donut out of the pink box of wonder while at the office... 1. Take one, and only one whole donut. 2. Use a napkin or otherwise touch only the one whole donut you have chosen. 3. Ask around the office to find out who actually brought them. 4. Thank that person from the bottom of your soul for their generosity and sacrifice. 5. Go back for seconds if, and only if, everyone has already gotten one or the person who has purchased them says it's OK. 6. If you take the last donut, throw away the box, and bury it deep in the trash. That way, nobody who shows up later than you will be disappointed. 7. Make a vow to yourself to return the favor sometime in the future. There, it's that simple. Now, for those of you who still insist on eating only half of a donut, I spit upon you. However, in order to make other people's lives better... Take the whole fuckin' donut, eat half and do something with the other half. You could just throw it away, but bury it deep, I don't want evidence that assholes like you exist. Feed it to the birds, make them fat, that's kind of funny. Save it for tomorrow. Or maybe you can dunk it in water, smash it down and roll it up into a ball then shove it up your ass. With any luck it will rot and you'll die of ass cancer. __________________ If you have any poo... fling it NOW!

07-19-2005, 09:29 AM	#2 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	boy... someone has issues. I don't have a problem with a half eaten doughnut in the box. I either eat around it, eat it, or don't take a doughnut. You also left off... what if they cut it with a knife? (i.e. held onto the side they wanted to eat and sliced it off... __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke Last edited by Charlatan; 07-19-2005 at 09:33 AM..

07-19-2005, 10:00 AM	#3 (permalink)
doodlebird pío pío Location: on a branch about to break	i will eat any doughnut, any time. i'd brush aside dog hairs, lick through fingerprints, possibly ignore a little spittle. i cannot say that i'd forgo all hygeine for any other food. i share your admiration and love for the doughnut. but not your irrational predujice against half doughnuts. for what is a whole doughnut, but two halves still fused together? i bet you wouldn't eat an amputee either. you, mr coaster, need more sleep. zzzzzz..... thank you for your point of view. if only there were more like you, all the half donuts in the world could be mine.... all.... mine!!!!! __________________ xoxo doodle

07-19-2005, 01:13 PM	#4 (permalink)
Raw Kuts Insane Location: San Diego, CA	more half doughnuts for me then =) __________________ ( o< --!"Take that bass out you're voice, you talk to me in treble." / / \ \/_/_ -->Mos Def

07-19-2005, 01:45 PM	#5 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	bavarian cream chocolate covered are my FAVS in our office its the ones that come in the green and white box that incite the joys you listed...and we have a rule...no matter who brings them I, being the only female where I work, get the first one :-) __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

07-19-2005, 05:45 PM	#6 (permalink)
TM875 Addict Location: Amish-land, PA	Having made donuts for a living (and I still do it part-time just for fun - in fact, I made today's donuts for my store), I can tell you all that there is a HUGE demand for those sugared little treats. And you don't like donuts after making them ad nasuem. They are, however, nature's sweetest indulgence and a thing of beauty. __________________ "I've made only one mistake in my life. But I made it over and over and over. That was saying 'yes' when I meant 'no'. Forgive me."

07-19-2005, 09:09 PM	#7 (permalink)
HLP Crazy	I was just talking about something like this with my dad. Every year when its his birthday he has to bring in donuts or something to work for everyone to have. Its an unwritten rule because if you dont they hound you. So every year he brings this stuff and every year he has people come to his desk and take some without asking or saying thank you or please. People from other departments come even who dont even know my dad! They post birthdays in the monthly newsletter so they know when and where to go. Some people just make work suck even more.

07-20-2005, 06:59 AM	#8 (permalink)
StanT © Location: Colorado	Hmmm, am I the only one that won't touch those sugar coated grease sponges?

07-20-2005, 07:12 AM	#9 (permalink)
JustJess Unencapsulated Location: Kittyville	You are definitely alone on that. I could have had a gourmet three-course breakfast, and if I come in to see fresh, hot, glazed Krispy Kremes... oh, man. There better be two boxes, cause I can't eat just one. (I do wait until much later for the second one, however.) They are beautiful things of beautiful stuff. __________________ My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

07-20-2005, 07:23 AM	#10 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	There is honestly not a whole lot better in life than a box of Krispy Kremes right off the rollers. luckily for me there isnt one anywhere near work __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

07-20-2005, 08:51 AM	#11 (permalink)
Bill O'Rights will always be an Alyson Hanniganite Location: In the dust of the archives	Krispy Kremes are overrated, in my book. Not that I'm gonna turn 'em down, mind you. But I much prefer the local independents. Or, barring that, Winchell's is good. Dunkin' Donuts is better. But, unfortunately, no DD in Omaha. Sad for me. But, my recent trip to Cleveland yielded a Dunkin' Donuts not half a block away from my hotel. Ah, sweet bliss... __________________ "I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony "Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

07-20-2005, 08:55 AM	#12 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	oh no BOR....Im so disappointed in you....DD is NOT better than KK....but I guess if you're more of a cake donut fan...which Im def NOT, then DD would be better. __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

07-20-2005, 08:59 AM	#13 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	I much prefer a Tim Horton's doughnut over a Krispy Kreme... not that they aren't good I just find them a bit too sweat and a bit to wet. Tim's or Country Style or Coffee Time have the more tradition doughnut that I prefer. My favourite is sour creme glazed... all that heavy doughy goodness and sticky glaze with just the right amount of, not crunchy, but not melted glaze. __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

07-20-2005, 10:10 AM	#14 (permalink)
Mister Coaster Big & Brassy Location: The "Canyon"	I have to admit, Krispy Kermes are good, but overrated. If not overrated, definately overpriced. That's why I opted for the familiar pink box. BTW, about the original post. I've always been a fan of Dennis Miller, and his "rants." This was just my attempt at his style. But I do dislike seeing halves of donuts left in the box... __________________ If you have any poo... fling it NOW!

07-21-2005, 07:46 PM	#16 (permalink)
CSflim Sky Piercer Location: Ireland	very funny. Maybe you should try http://www.ventanger.com/ (one of Hal's other sites). __________________

07-24-2005, 07:24 PM	#17 (permalink)
Sleepyjack Fast'n'Bulbous Location: Australia, Perth	Nice, this was quite good Although, what's worse? if the 3 people had taken only a half a donut each, or if they had taken 3 whole ones, leaving nothing whatsoever for yourself? I have low standards, so i could probably eat half a donut