Shortly after her wedding... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Glad-I-Ate-Her · 07-05-2005, 08:24 PM

Shortly after her wedding, the newlywed wife is complaining to her mother about her husband's insatiable sexual appetite. "He wants to do it 15 times a day, anytime, anyplace, anywhere -- on the table, on the stairs, on the sofa, in the car, in the morning, in the afternoon, and in the evening. I can barely walk anymore!"

The mother advises her daughter to tell him that she has her period, which seems like a good idea.

So that evening, when the husband comes home from work, he proceeds to undress himself and his wife, when she stops him.

"I'm sorry sweetie, but it's that time of the month."

The husband gets up, looks at his wife, and says, "It's all good honey. I understand." He puts on a robe and walks away.

The wife is somewhat surprised at the mature reaction of her husband, until a few minutes later he returns holding two glasses and a bottle of champagne.

So she asks, "What's going on, dear?"

"We're celebrating!" he replies.

"Celebrating? What exactly are we celebrating?" she asks.

"Anal sex week!"

Glad

Daniel_ · 07-05-2005, 11:34 PM

New one to me. Very funny.

feelgood · 07-06-2005, 08:37 AM

Aw man, I feel bad for her

alleitup · 07-06-2005, 10:38 AM

Man, my wife says it is exit only.

SirLance · 07-06-2005, 02:46 PM

Hysterical! Suprise "ending" and all!

Latch · 07-07-2005, 01:11 AM

hahgahaha that was great. Thanks.

RusCrimson · 07-07-2005, 04:38 PM

I had never heard that one before. Good one!

cinnles · 07-07-2005, 07:25 PM

that was great, I know someone who'd love that.

Brewmaniac · 07-08-2005, 03:21 PM

Funny as hell! Thanks

gfandy · 07-09-2005, 11:59 PM

And I thought I had heard them all. Great joke.

ender0333 · 07-11-2005, 09:09 AM

ohhhh man that is great, now she wont be able to sit

Mavric98 · 07-11-2005, 09:58 PM

Wow. Is that what you are supposed to do when it is that time of the month?

t3m3st · 07-12-2005, 11:01 PM

hope she got one of those O-Ring pillows as a wedding gift.

Glad-I-Ate-Her · 07-16-2005, 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by t3m3st

hope she got one of those O-Ring pillows as a wedding gift.

A donut ring cushion, hahaha!

Glad

07-05-2005, 08:24 PM	#1 (permalink)
Glad-I-Ate-Her Junkie Location: 1 mile from Ground Zero	Shortly after her wedding... Shortly after her wedding, the newlywed wife is complaining to her mother about her husband's insatiable sexual appetite. "He wants to do it 15 times a day, anytime, anyplace, anywhere -- on the table, on the stairs, on the sofa, in the car, in the morning, in the afternoon, and in the evening. I can barely walk anymore!" The mother advises her daughter to tell him that she has her period, which seems like a good idea. So that evening, when the husband comes home from work, he proceeds to undress himself and his wife, when she stops him. "I'm sorry sweetie, but it's that time of the month." The husband gets up, looks at his wife, and says, "It's all good honey. I understand." He puts on a robe and walks away. The wife is somewhat surprised at the mature reaction of her husband, until a few minutes later he returns holding two glasses and a bottle of champagne. So she asks, "What's going on, dear?" "We're celebrating!" he replies. "Celebrating? What exactly are we celebrating?" she asks. "Anal sex week!" Glad __________________ I'm "Glad I Ate Her" because the payback was worth it!!

07-05-2005, 11:34 PM	#2 (permalink)
Daniel_ Evil Priest: The Devil Made Me Do It! Location: Southern England	New one to me. Very funny. __________________ ╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗ Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air, And deep beneath the rolling waves, In labyrinths of Coral Caves, The Echo of a distant time Comes willowing across the sand; And everthing is Green and Submarine ╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

07-06-2005, 08:37 AM	#3 (permalink)
feelgood Free Mars! Location: I dunno, there's white people around me saying "eh" all the time	Aw man, I feel bad for her __________________ Looking out the window, that's an act of war. Staring at my shoes, that's an act of war. Committing an act of war? Oh you better believe that's an act of war

07-06-2005, 02:46 PM	#5 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	Hysterical! Suprise "ending" and all! __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

07-08-2005, 03:21 PM	#9 (permalink)
Brewmaniac Searching for the perfect brew!	Funny as hell! Thanks __________________ "That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"

07-06-2005, 10:38 AM	#4 (permalink)
alleitup Upright	Man, my wife says it is exit only.

07-07-2005, 01:11 AM	#6 (permalink)
Latch In Your Dreams Location: City of Lights	hahgahaha that was great. Thanks.

07-07-2005, 04:38 PM	#7 (permalink)
RusCrimson Tilted Location: Massachusetts	I had never heard that one before. Good one!

07-07-2005, 07:25 PM	#8 (permalink)
cinnles Addict	that was great, I know someone who'd love that.

07-09-2005, 11:59 PM	#10 (permalink)
gfandy Upright Location: San Francisco	And I thought I had heard them all. Great joke.

07-11-2005, 09:09 AM	#11 (permalink)
ender0333 Upright	ohhhh man that is great, now she wont be able to sit

07-11-2005, 09:58 PM	#12 (permalink)
Mavric98 Tilted Location: I am not living.	Wow. Is that what you are supposed to do when it is that time of the month? __________________ "Hope is for people that don't stand a chance."

07-12-2005, 11:01 PM	#13 (permalink)
t3m3st Vroom! Location: Toronto	hope she got one of those O-Ring pillows as a wedding gift. __________________ I do it for the rare drops