SirLance

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night ... whether you're here or not."

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Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.

After some time he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?"

She says, "I was in bed."

"In bed this early, doing what?"

"Getting a second opinion!"

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A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home, Mother of six?'"

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

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ranger

sounds fair to me...

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there are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and my way, which is the wrong way faster.

feelgood

Ouch!!!

Gave me good chuckle

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Looking out the window, that's an act of war. Staring at my shoes, that's an act of war. Committing an act of war? Oh you better believe that's an act of war

Delvid

Those are good. I really like the 2nd.

Brewmaniac

More good stuff! Thanks

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