Racer

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the
occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer.

Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes
right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the
drinks.

"I wish I could play my normal game...just once."

"Golf is harder than baseball. In golf, you have to play your foul balls."

If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even during
a hurricane, here's a valuable tip: your life is in trouble.

Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot rarely
make a perfect shot.

The term "mulligan" is really a contraction of the phrase "maul it again."

A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers ...
neither of whom can putt very well.

An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play; it
is always possible to get worse.

Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it and shank
it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out
and for no reason at all you really stink.

I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

If your best shots are the practice swing and the "gimme putt", you might
wish to reconsider this game.

Achieving a certain level of success in golf is only important if you can
finally enjoy the level you've reached after you've reached it.

Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you.

Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won't work
... and both are expensive.

The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.

To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly.

In golf, some people tend to get confused with all the numbers...
they shoot a six, yell fore and write five.

Swing easy. Hit hard.

If you find yourself pleased that you locate more balls in the rough than
you actually have lost, your focus is totally wrong and your personality
might not be right for golf ... it is also just a matter of time before
the IRS investigates your business.

Why is it twice as difficult to hit a ball over water than sand?

"The greatest sound in golf is the Woosh, Woosh, Woosh, of your opponent's
club as he hurls it across the fairway"

ratbastid

The problem with my golf swing is, I'm standing too close to the ball... after I hit it.

SirLance

As Mark Twain said, "Golf is a good walk ruined."

I go for a walk every Sunday...

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DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

God of Thunder

My method of golfing is to hit it as far as I can...




walk six feet, and hit it again.

__________________
I reject your reality, and substitute my own

-- Adam Savage

Hektore

Personal Favorite:

If you get stuck on the course during a thunderstorm just hold up a 1-iron;




Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

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The advantage law is the best law in rugby, because it lets you ignore all the others for the good of the game.

absorbentishe

While putting, the 3 worst words you can hear, "You're still away".

TM875

Don't worry about the last shot. You hit it, and now you won't have to hit it again until you're way down there. Just do that a bunch of times, and you'll suceed.

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"I've made only one mistake in my life. But I made it over and over and over. That was saying 'yes' when I meant 'no'. Forgive me."