Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Interests > Tilted Humor


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 04-15-2005, 09:30 AM   #1 (permalink)
AHH! Custom Title!!
 
liquidlight's Avatar
 
Location: The twisted warpings of my brain.
The Magic Dildo

A wealthy business man is married to a gorgeous younger woman who's a slight nymphomaniac, but they actually are deeply in love.

Concerned that she'll be tempted to stray while he's away on his many business trips he heads down to the local sex shop to see if he can't find something that would prevent her from getting frustrated while he's out of town.

The shopkeeper greets him and he explains the situation, telling the shop keeper that money is no object. "I have just the thing," the shopkeeper tells him and disappears into the back for a few minutes.

He returns carrying a relatively small box with the words "Magic Dildo" printed on the side. He sets the box down and asks the man what he thinks, but the man is confused it looks just like a regular dildo!

The shopkeeper just smiles and says "Watch this. Magic Dildo - COUNTER!" The dildo flies out of the box and begins to simply ravage the counter. The man is thoroughly impressed and tells the shopkeeper that he'll buy it so the shopkeeper says, "Magic Dildo - BOX!" and the dildo settles back into the box, the shopkeeper rings him up and the man takes the Magic Dildo home to his wife.

He explains the toy to his wife and then packs to leave for a trip the next morning. That afternoon the wife starts to get a little horny so she decides to try out the Magic Dildo. She takes out the Magic Dildo, gets undressed, lays down on the bed and says "Magic Dildo - PUSSY!" Of course the dildo just starts going to town and it isn't long before the wife has had several nice orgasms, but then she realizes that she has a problem, she can't remember how to get the Magic Dildo to stop! She remembers where her husband bought it and thinks that it's not too far, so she pulls some clothes on and gets in her car to drive over there. As she's driving though the Magic Dildo is still doing it's thing, so she's having some difficulty controlling the car as the orgasms hit her. She is spotted by an police officer that sees her weaving all over the road and he pulls her over. She relates the entire story to the officer, having more orgasms while she's telling him and when she gets done the officer just looks at her and says, "Lady, you've gotta be kidding me. Magic Dildo - MY ASS!!!!"
__________________
Halfway to hell and picking up speed.
liquidlight is offline  
Old 04-15-2005, 11:11 AM   #2 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Cervantes's Avatar
 
Location: Above you
http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...ighlight=dildo
http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...ighlight=dildo
__________________
- "Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned.."
- "Religions take everything that your DNA naturally wants to do to survive and pro-create and makes it wrong."
- "There is only one absolute truth and that is that there is only one absolute truth."
Cervantes is offline  
Old 04-15-2005, 12:21 PM   #3 (permalink)
Tilted
 
you forgot
http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...ht=voodoo+dick
"Magic dildo" doesn't sound as good as "voodoo dick."
NegativeNine is offline  
Old 04-20-2005, 11:17 PM   #4 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Stiltzkin's Avatar
 
I'm oddly turned on by the fact that she was being "ravaged" by the dildo while wearing clothes and driving.
Stiltzkin is offline  
Old 04-24-2005, 10:52 AM   #5 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Now I know why she cut me off on the freeway
questone is offline  
 

Tags
dildo, magic


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 01:23 PM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360