Ralph the horny chicken - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

aphex140 · 01-20-2005, 06:43 AM

Hope it is not a repost I just love this one :
A Farmer has about 500 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks.

So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster
that he would sell. The other farmer says, "Yep, I've got this great rooster,
named Ralph. He'll service every chicken you got, no problem."

Well, Ralph the rooster costs $3,000, a lot of money, but the farmer
Decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Ralph The farmer takes Ralph home and sets
him down in the barnyard, but first he gave the rooster a pep talk.

"I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service
here, and you cost me a lot of money." Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. So,
take your time and have some fun," the farmer said, with a chuckle.

Ralph seems to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house and
Ralph takes off like a shot. WHAM! Ralph nails every hen in the hen house - three or
four times, and the farmer is really shocked. After that, the farmer hears
a commotion in the duck pen and, sure enough, Ralph is in there. Later,
the farmer sees Ralph after a flock of geese down by the lake. Once again
WHAM! He gets all the geese. By sunset he sees Ralph out in the fields
chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer is distraught and worried that his
expensive rooster won't even last 24 hours.

Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next morning to find
Ralph on his back out in the middle of the yard, mouth open, tongue
Hanging out and both feet sticking straight up in the air.

Buzzards are circling overhead. The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a
colorful and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh, Ralph, I
told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what
you've done to yourself." Ralph opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling
in the sky and says, "Shhhh! They're getting closer."

cj22009 · 01-20-2005, 08:06 AM

I don't know if it's a repost but that was some funny shit !

Cadwiz · 01-20-2005, 09:04 AM

I don't know if it's beeen posted here before, but I have heard it. It still makes me laugh every time.

PDOUBLEOP · 01-20-2005, 12:27 PM

that's a funny joke for sure.

thriolith · 01-20-2005, 12:40 PM

Hehe, that's a funny one there.

Blackthorn · 01-20-2005, 01:09 PM

I love it!!!!

Delvid · 01-20-2005, 02:39 PM

Old but funny.

HLP · 01-20-2005, 11:15 PM

Oh thanks for a great joke! Ill be telling this tommorow

Ella · 01-20-2005, 11:52 PM

PMSL....very funny stuff. Of course, I'll never remember it.

chateau_margaux · 01-22-2005, 02:38 PM

That was good - I'll be telling it at work

Hardknock · 01-22-2005, 06:22 PM

nice one! I love it!

Latch · 01-22-2005, 06:34 PM

PMSL? Pissing myself laughing?

Anyways.. great joke.

ranger · 01-25-2005, 09:02 AM

First off great joke, I used to work for a guy who had chickens and he had a rooster kill itself that way. It nailed all the hens and tried to go after the dog in the kennel.

Second to Latch, where did you get that avatar? Thats awesome.

SirLance · 01-26-2005, 02:56 PM

New to me, and a funny one.

01-20-2005, 06:43 AM	#1 (permalink)
aphex140 Psycho Location: northamptonshire	Ralph the horny chicken Hope it is not a repost I just love this one : A Farmer has about 500 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster that he would sell. The other farmer says, "Yep, I've got this great rooster, named Ralph. He'll service every chicken you got, no problem." Well, Ralph the rooster costs $3,000, a lot of money, but the farmer Decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Ralph The farmer takes Ralph home and sets him down in the barnyard, but first he gave the rooster a pep talk. "I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money." Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer said, with a chuckle. Ralph seems to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house and Ralph takes off like a shot. WHAM! Ralph nails every hen in the hen house - three or four times, and the farmer is really shocked. After that, the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen and, sure enough, Ralph is in there. Later, the farmer sees Ralph after a flock of geese down by the lake. Once again WHAM! He gets all the geese. By sunset he sees Ralph out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer is distraught and worried that his expensive rooster won't even last 24 hours. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next morning to find Ralph on his back out in the middle of the yard, mouth open, tongue Hanging out and both feet sticking straight up in the air. Buzzards are circling overhead. The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh, Ralph, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself." Ralph opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky and says, "Shhhh! They're getting closer." __________________ Computers allow us to make more mistakes at a faster rate than any other man-made thing, with the exception of handguns and tequila. [/QUOTE=BAMF]Do they role a die, with a 1/3 chance of being flacid?[/QUOTE]

01-20-2005, 09:04 AM	#3 (permalink)
Cadwiz Insane Location: work	I don't know if it's beeen posted here before, but I have heard it. It still makes me laugh every time. __________________ Semper Fi

01-20-2005, 12:27 PM	#4 (permalink)
PDOUBLEOP Insane	that's a funny joke for sure. __________________ ef you-you effing ef

01-20-2005, 12:40 PM	#5 (permalink)
thriolith Insane Location: Toronto	Hehe, that's a funny one there. __________________ - Thriolith

01-20-2005, 01:09 PM	#6 (permalink)
Blackthorn Beware the Mad Irish Location: Wish I was on the N17...	I love it!!!! __________________ What are you willing to give up in order to get what you want?

01-20-2005, 08:06 AM	#2 (permalink)
cj22009 On the edge of control Location: Ga	I don't know if it's a repost but that was some funny shit !

01-20-2005, 02:39 PM	#7 (permalink)
Delvid Insane Location: Missouri	Old but funny.

01-20-2005, 11:15 PM	#8 (permalink)
HLP Crazy	Oh thanks for a great joke! Ill be telling this tommorow

01-20-2005, 11:52 PM	#9 (permalink)
Ella Ella Bo Bella Location: Australia	PMSL....very funny stuff. Of course, I'll never remember it. __________________ "Afterwards, the universe will explode for your pleasure."

01-22-2005, 02:38 PM	#10 (permalink)
chateau_margaux Upright	That was good - I'll be telling it at work

01-22-2005, 06:22 PM	#11 (permalink)
Hardknock Republican slayer Location: WA	nice one! I love it!

01-22-2005, 06:34 PM	#12 (permalink)
Latch In Your Dreams Location: City of Lights	PMSL? Pissing myself laughing? Anyways.. great joke.

01-25-2005, 09:02 AM	#13 (permalink)
ranger Crazy Location: antioch IL	First off great joke, I used to work for a guy who had chickens and he had a rooster kill itself that way. It nailed all the hens and tried to go after the dog in the kennel. Second to Latch, where did you get that avatar? Thats awesome.

01-26-2005, 02:56 PM	#14 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	New to me, and a funny one. __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.