SirLance

Little Johnny, a first-grader, demanded that his teacher be available for a "meeting" after school.

At the appointed time, the teacher asked, "Johnny, what is your problem?"

Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade too!"

The teacher, hearing this before, had had enough. She took Johnny to the principal's office. While Johnny waited outside the office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. The teacher agreed.

Little Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 times 3?"

Little Johnny: "9"

Principal: "What is 6 times 6?"

Little Johnny: "36"

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grader should know.

The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Little Johnny can go to the third grade."

The teacher says to the principal, "Not so fast. Let me ask him some questions." The principal and Little Johnny both agree.

Teacher: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"

Little Johnny: "Legs"

Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" (The principal looked visibly shaken.)

Little Johnny: "Pockets"

Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Little Johnny: "Pants"

Teacher: "What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?" (The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Little Johnny was ready.)

Little Johnny: "Coconut"

Teacher: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"

Little Johnny: "Bubblegum"

Teacher: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?"

Little Johnny: "Shake hands"

Teacher: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I?' sort of questions, okay?"

Little Johnny: "Yup"

Teacher: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do."

Little Johnny: "Tent"

Teacher: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first." (The principal is looking more and more amazed.)

Little Johnny: "Wedding Ring"

Teacher: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of excitement?"

Little Johnny: "Firetruck"

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put his ass in the fifth-grade, I got the last few questions wrong myself."

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BlitzkriegKommt

A repeat, could have put it in the sticky of little jhonny jokes. Still a funny one.

Nachtschleicher

Wow, good one! VERY amusing! Thanks for sharing!

itch vaccine

Man, I got loads of it wrong,

I oughta be in the first grade >.<

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hoosier52

I love Little Johnny jokes; that was great.

flagpole

I'm never leaving the first grade

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Delvid

I'm hot for teacher. She could teach me some stuff.

Bauer_Power

LOL that johnny is a smart little kid

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loonatic8her

Damn that Johnny is a smart one... wonder if he knew the meaning of Life?

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The Loonatic

Did you get rid of all the voices in your head?
Do you now miss them and the things they said?

kennusion

The last few questions were pretty funny.. Except it's still sad that I got those wrong.