mike2360

George Bush and Dick Cheney are enjoying a celebration lunch at a fancy Washington restaurant. Their waitress approaches their table to take their order; she is young and very attractive. She asks Cheney what he wants, and he replies, "I'll have the heart-healthy salad." Very good, sir," she replies, and turning to Bush she asks, "And what do you want, Mr. President?" Bush answers, "How about a quickie?".

Taken aback, the waitress slaps him and says, "I'm shocked and disappointed in you. I thought you were bringing in a new administration that was committed to high principles and morality. I'm sorry I voted for you." With that, the waitress departed in a huff. Cheney leans over to Bush, and says, Mr. President, I believe that's pronounced quiche.

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justMike

cheapdog

While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people.

Bush asks how she knows if they're intelligent.

"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."

Bush watches as the Queen phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"

Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."

"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"

Bush nods: "Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"

Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. Bush summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, "Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."

"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"

Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?"

Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. He immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem.

"Now lookee here, son, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course."

Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush, and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!"

And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, you dumb sh*t, it's Tony Blair!"

Nad Adam

lol

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Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones. - Psalms 137:9

vulture

rofl

MexicanOnABike

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHIHIHIHOHOHHAHAHAH!! the 2nd one is the funyest thing!

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Peetster

I thought mike2360's original joke was funny, but cheapdog's reply was not.