Mens dictionary for womens personal ads
 

40-ish. = 49
Adventurous = Will sleep with all your buddies
Athletic = No tits
Average looking = Has a face like an arse
Beautiful = Pathological liar
Contagious smile = Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure = On medication
Feminist = Bad hair and no dress sense
Free spirit = Junkie
Friendship first = Former slut
Fun = Annoying
Gentle = Dull
Good listner = Autistic
New-age = Body hair problems
Open minded = Desperate
Outgoing = Loud and embarrissing
Passionate = Sloppy drunk
Poet = Depressive
Professional = Bitch
Romantic = Frigid
Social = Fanny like a clowns pocket
Cuddly = Fat
Voluptuous = Very fat
Large lady = Hugely fat
Wants soul mate = Stalker
Widow = Murderer

The funniest/saddest part about this is that it's absolutely accurate.

absolutely accurate? That's too bad. That just means that it doesn't matter what a woman says.. a man will make something bad of it?? Tisk tisk. This is about humor, not about bagging on gals.

Other than that... i think its pretty funny. :)

Sorry. I just got burned by one of these ads a few (several) years back and this post brought back the crummy memory. Didn't mean to offend any of our lady friends in TFP land. I prostrate myself before you!

Haha! :lol:

Heard most of those before, but the ones I haven't are good:)

Friendship first = Former slut

This one cracked me up. You always get them after they've "reformed!"

lol someone should post the man version...i'm sure that would be equally entertaining....

Outstanding

i especially liked the last one. good post bullmoose.

Dictionar for men's personal ads
 

DICTIONARY FOR MEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

1. Affectionate………………….. …… wants to have sex on the first date
2. Intelligent ………………………… won’t tell you until the first date what affectionate means
3. Passionate…………………………. ..wants sex early on or you’re finished
4. Self- Employed………………………unemployed and sells things on e-bay, insolvent
5. Free-Spirit……………………. ……. no job, no house, sleeps on a spare mattress
6. Fun-loving………………………….. wants sex with no commitment
7. Adventurous…………………………wants casual sex, phone and text sex, 3-somes, swinging
8. Open-minded………………………...wants the above and for you not to object
9. Friends first …………………. ….. .. impotent
10. Take things slowly…………………impotent and wants to see you tits without pressure to perform
11. Adventurous………… …… ……...wants sex in the car on the first date
12. Separated………………………….. married and wife doesn’t want sex
13. Mentions children’s TV……............ is interested in fiddling with those kiddies as well as you
14. Life & soul of party………………..mental
15. Outgoing…………………………...loud and embarrassing
16. Young attitude……………………..thinks they can pull 18-25 year olds
17. Log fires, beach walks…………… will say whatever it takes to have sex
18. Wants soul mate……………………doesn’t mind appearing a wuss to get sex
19. Women have done me wrong………wants a pity shag
20. Do anything for the right woman….has no money to go out and will blame this on you
21. Do anything for the right woman….is a tight-arse, but will blame this on you
22. About average………………………fat
23. A few extra pounds………………..John Goodman
24. 6 ft…………………………………5 ft 10”
25. Over 6ft……………………............odd looking and shrek-like
26. Over 40 & uses smilies…………….internet, MSN and/or porn addict
27. Heavy usage of site…………..........internet and porn addict
28. On multiple sites…………………. should be on Adult Friend Finder but hasn’t got nerve or is impotent

Yes! Julialast, this is a great counterpoint! Got me laughing