Blonde Quickies - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Lost-in-Space · 04-19-2003, 06:17 PM

Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q: Why do Blondes take the pill?
A: So they know what day of the week it is.

Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: Because it kept falling out.

Q: But why do brunettes take the pill ?
A: Wishful Thinking.

Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?
A: Because her boyfriend was also blond!

Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.

Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up!

Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?
A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.

Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde?
A: Butter is difficult to spread.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.

MexicanOnABike · 04-19-2003, 08:17 PM

You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball..... hehehehe

loganmule · 04-20-2003, 10:09 PM

worthy blonde jokes

asdf1001 · 04-21-2003, 09:32 AM

sounds like a "top 10" list for Letterman!

Willowsr · 04-21-2003, 09:49 AM

Hey! I resemble those comments! *grin*

ASNstunta · 04-21-2003, 10:00 AM

heh funny ones...

Here is one:

Q: Why did the blonde kept staring at the orange juice carton?

A: Because it said CONCENTRATE!

Empty_One · 04-21-2003, 11:49 AM

ya gotta love blonde jokes

jimk · 08-28-2003, 01:44 PM

what's the mating call of a blonde?
- i'm so drunk!

mating call of a brunette?
-is there anything left in the bong?

so true......

archer2371 · 08-28-2003, 01:53 PM

Noice.

Gortexfogg · 08-28-2003, 02:24 PM

A ton of ones I've heard before, but some really good ones I haven't.

queedo · 08-28-2003, 09:49 PM

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet?

A: A toilet doesn't get up and follow you around when you are done using it!

scansinboy · 08-29-2003, 04:10 PM

What do you call a smart blonde?

A golden retriever.

What's the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?

You know how many people went down on the Titanic.

How does a blonde turn on the light after having sex?

She opens the car door.

What do you call a blond standing on her head?

A brunette with bad breath.

hayden · 08-29-2003, 09:47 PM

blonde jokes never get old

Root_Beer_Man · 08-29-2003, 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by hayden
blonde jokes never get old

How true

legolas · 08-30-2003, 04:56 AM

Wow, I haven't heard some of these. Thanks.

shannon · 09-14-2003, 09:45 AM

blond vs. toilet was new to me and very amusing.

Slims · 09-14-2003, 06:23 PM

Those are great. Thanks.

fallen_angel · 09-24-2003, 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by hayden
blonde jokes never get old

that is so true its not even funny

afirocks · 09-27-2003, 08:56 AM

that is so funny, and one more
Q: why is a blond's casket triangular?
A: when her head hits the pillow, her legs spring open.

TerresqueÜ · 09-27-2003, 08:15 PM

Hee hee hee, love one liners!

txgirl · 09-27-2003, 09:12 PM

love those blond jokes...

preluder · 09-28-2003, 01:42 AM

the bowling ball reminds me a your momma joke: your mom's like a bowling ball, always getting fingered, thrown in the gutter and coming back for more.

xepherys · 06-15-2008, 09:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by afirocks

that is so funny, and one more
Q: why is a blond's casket triangular?
A: when her head hits the pillow, her legs spring open.

LOL, that's horrible (horribly funny!)

maiden_fan_us · 06-15-2008, 10:36 AM

OK, my .02 worth...

What does a Blonde say after sex?

Are all of you guys on the same team?

allaboutmusic · 06-15-2008, 12:33 PM

Did anyone else open this thread expecting something different from the title?

04-19-2003, 06:17 PM	#1 (permalink)
Lost-in-Space Upright Location: Jupiter 2	Blonde Quickies Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you? A: Pull the pin and throw it back. Q: Why do Blondes take the pill? A: So they know what day of the week it is. Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill? A: Because it kept falling out. Q: But why do brunettes take the pill ? A: Wishful Thinking. Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel? A: Because her boyfriend was also blond! Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first? A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions. Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? A: Her IQ goes up! Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a Porsche? A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend. Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde? A: Butter is difficult to spread. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.

04-19-2003, 08:17 PM	#2 (permalink)
MexicanOnABike Location: up north	You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball..... hehehehe __________________ - Movie Reviews - Ratings-

04-21-2003, 09:32 AM	#4 (permalink)
asdf1001 itty bitty titty committee chairman	sounds like a "top 10" list for Letterman! __________________ Goodbye!

08-28-2003, 01:44 PM	#8 (permalink)
jimk Addict Location: Chicago	brunette (companion joke) what's the mating call of a blonde? - i'm so drunk! mating call of a brunette? -is there anything left in the bong? so true...... __________________ raw power is a guaranteed o.d. raw power is a laughin' at you & me -iggy

08-28-2003, 01:53 PM	#9 (permalink)
archer2371 Sarge of Blood Gulch Red Outpost Number One Location: On the front lines against our very enemy	Noice. __________________ "This ain't no Ice Cream Social!" "Hey Grif, Chupathingy...how bout that? I like it...got a ring to it." "I have no earthly idea what it is I just saw, or what this place is, or where in the hell O'Malley is! My only choice is to blame Grif for coming up with such a flawed plan. Stupid, stupid Grif."

04-20-2003, 10:09 PM	#3 (permalink)
loganmule Junkie Location: midwest	worthy blonde jokes

04-21-2003, 09:49 AM	#5 (permalink)
Willowsr Banned Location: Columbus, OH	Hey! I resemble those comments! grin

04-21-2003, 10:00 AM	#6 (permalink)
ASNstunta Upright Location: Internet Black Hole	heh funny ones... Here is one: Q: Why did the blonde kept staring at the orange juice carton? A: Because it said CONCENTRATE!

04-21-2003, 11:49 AM	#7 (permalink)
Empty_One Addict Location: Milwaukee, WI	ya gotta love blonde jokes

08-28-2003, 02:24 PM	#10 (permalink)
Gortexfogg I and I Location: Stillwater, OK	A ton of ones I've heard before, but some really good ones I haven't.

08-28-2003, 09:49 PM	#11 (permalink)
queedo Shodan	Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet? A: A toilet doesn't get up and follow you around when you are done using it! __________________ If you think you can or you can't, you are right!

08-29-2003, 04:10 PM	#12 (permalink)
scansinboy Insane Location: Milwaukee	What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. What's the difference between a blonde and the Titanic? You know how many people went down on the Titanic. How does a blonde turn on the light after having sex? She opens the car door. What do you call a blond standing on her head? A brunette with bad breath. __________________ Don't blame me... I voted for Kodos!

08-29-2003, 09:47 PM	#13 (permalink)
hayden Upright	blonde jokes never get old

08-30-2003, 04:56 AM	#15 (permalink)
legolas shit faced cockmaster Location: CT	Wow, I haven't heard some of these. Thanks. __________________ "To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

09-14-2003, 09:45 AM	#16 (permalink)
shannon Psycho Location: Canada	blond vs. toilet was new to me and very amusing. __________________ "When I look down I just miss all the good stuff. And when I look up I just trip over things"

09-14-2003, 06:23 PM	#17 (permalink)
Slims Eccentric insomniac Location: North Carolina	Those are great. Thanks. __________________ "Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill "All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence

09-27-2003, 08:15 PM	#20 (permalink)
TerresqueÜ Hiding Out	Hee hee hee, love one liners! __________________ Say yes to the 'Tilted Roleplaying' Forum http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1932&highlight=petition

09-27-2003, 09:12 PM	#21 (permalink)
txgirl so many men...so little time. Location: Bellingham	love those blond jokes...

09-27-2003, 08:56 AM	#19 (permalink)
afirocks Crazy	that is so funny, and one more Q: why is a blond's casket triangular? A: when her head hits the pillow, her legs spring open.

09-28-2003, 01:42 AM	#22 (permalink)
preluder Tilted Location: Houston, TX	the bowling ball reminds me a your momma joke: your mom's like a bowling ball, always getting fingered, thrown in the gutter and coming back for more.

06-15-2008, 10:36 AM	#24 (permalink)
maiden_fan_us Tilted Location: Springfield, VA	OK, my .02 worth... What does a Blonde say after sex? Are all of you guys on the same team? __________________ Remember Eric, there are no stupid questions, only stupid people!

06-15-2008, 12:33 PM	#25 (permalink)
allaboutmusic Aurally Fixated	Did anyone else open this thread expecting something different from the title?