Snakeyes

Why is it that when a woman talks dirty to me, it's $2.95 a minute...

But when I talk dirty to a woman it's sexual harassment?

DEI37

How come we park on driveways, and drive on parkways?

__________________
Generally speaking, if you were to get what you really deserve, you might be unpleasantly surprised.

Snakeyes

Indeed.

Post more of these in this thread!

Tophat665

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are "abbreviation" and "inconsequential" such long words?

If a parsley farmer loses a lawsuit, can they garnish his wages?

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Tophat665

Why are their braille instructions on drive through autotellers?

What makes the teflon stick to the pan?

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

cchris

Why do they have locks on the front doors of 24hr convenience stores?

Why dont they make planes out of the shit they make black box flight recorders?

Why do I have to push the "Walk" button more than once when waiting to cross the road?

__________________
There's a fine line between participation and mockery

aus5tin

If coconut oil comes from coconuts, and corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

__________________
You cannot trick a bear... he knows a meal when he sees one.

Prophecy

why does cargo go by boat and shipment go by truck?

__________________
La Disciplina È La Mia Spada,
La Fede È Il Mio Schermo,
Non salti Ciecamente In Incertezza,
E Potete Raccogliere Le Ricompense.

TerresqueÜ

Hee hee hee good ones guys.

__________________
Say yes to the 'Tilted Roleplaying' Forum

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1932&highlight=petition

Junchbailey

Why do they call them buildings if they're already done building them?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

__________________
Hey guys -- I finally got a semen sample after pumping on my wiener for 2 whole days

forgotten_dream

Why does the word "Lisp" have an S in it?
Shouldn't dyslexic be a palindrome?
How cruel is that?

__________________
"A ouija board just works better if you've made it yourself. It's sortof like how 'Clue' is more interesting when one of you has actually killed someone."

KBilly

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

small one

Why don't you see signs saying "Dry paint"?

If cats land on their feet, and bread lands butter-side down,
Which way would a cat land with toast strapped to it's back?

Tophat665

<b>small one</b>, my buddy and I discussed just that over homebrew and scotch one evening. We ended up designing the feline murphy dynamo and the bi-feline dynamo. For the first, you strap a slice of buttered toast, butter side up to a cat's back and drop it over the most expensive oriental carpet that can be found. Since the rate of the butter hitting the floor is directly proportionate to the value of the carpet, if it is expensive enough, the toast and cat ought to approach an oscillating equillibrium and spin rapidly while falling slowly (since cats always land on their feet, eventually that will overcome the odds of the toast landing.).

For the Bifeline dynamo, strap two caws paw to paw and drop them. They should spin indefinitely.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.