aphex140

A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son's house. She
rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her
daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was
playing and the aroma of perfume filled the room.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law
answered.

"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.

"This is my LOVE dress," the daughter-in-law explained.

"LOVE dress? But you're naked!"

"My husband LOVES me to wear this dress," she explained. "It excites him
to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes
romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me."

The mother-in-law left.


When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume,
dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch waiting
for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He walked in
and saw her lying there so provocatively.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"This is my LOVE dress," she whispered, sensually.

"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?"

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Computers allow us to make more mistakes at a faster rate than any other man-made thing, with the exception of handguns and tequila.

[/QUOTE=BAMF]Do they role a die, with a 1/3 chance of being flacid?[/QUOTE]

tekaweni

OUCH that was goooooooooood! Thanks...

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If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten

Jackebear

Not bad.

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Life's jounney is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn-out shouting, "Holy sh*t! What a ride!" - unknown

Traff

haha hehe
good one

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The rug
it really tied the room together

sky_driver

Thanks, that was great.

PayUp

Fucking Great!!!

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Born to Lose.

Slauncha Man

Burned. Poor woman probaby would've killed herself.

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-Slauncha

denim

Or him, more to the point.

gar1976

Yeah, pretty sure the wife wouldn't take it as an incentive to "de-wrinkle" and instead used it as an incentive to "throw things at husband."

edmos1

hahhaa, that was clever

Krazyck

lmao.. :P

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hooray for epilepsy!

R3d

hahahaahahah

MooseMan3000

rofl. That shit was beautiful.

ultra_agent9

Haha! Saw that coming a mile away.

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Champaigne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends.

small one

That's cruel

cameroncrazy822

long marriage.... the other four letter word

Eric640

HAH! She had it soming.

Gnzo

hahha

nogoodreason

that is fucking beautiful.

hilarious.

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I'm not sarcastic. I mean it.

Kazic

heh and the hilarity ensues.

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"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man
affected us as kids,we'd all be running around in
darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening
to repetitive electronic music."
-Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989

mystmarimatt

awww, that's so sad funny. but saaaaad.

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Words of Wisdom:

If you could really get to know someone and know that they weren't lying to you, then you would know the world was real. Because you could agree on things, you could compare notes. That must be why people get married or make Art. So they'll be able to really know something and not go insane.