Golf Lessons - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

asdf1001 · 05-07-2003, 11:35 AM

A husband and a wife want to take golf lessons from a pro at a local golf club. The man and woman meet the pro and head to the driving range. The man goes up first. He swings and hits the ball 100 yards. The golf pro says, ''Not bad.'' Golf pro: ''Now hold your club as firmly as you hold your wife's breast.'' The man follows instructions and hits the ball 300 yards. The golf pro says, ''Excellent!''

Now the woman takes her turn. She hits the ball 30 yards. Golf pro: ''Not bad, but try holding the club like you hold your husband's dick.'' She swings and the ball goes 10 yards. Golf pro: ''Not bad, now try taking the club out of your mouth.''

YELLOW450 · 05-07-2003, 12:16 PM

haha, lucky guy

zaiaz · 05-08-2003, 02:00 PM

Damnit thats funnny...yes thats 3 n's.

SysteMatiC · 05-08-2003, 02:02 PM

i gotta take up golf

ratbastid · 05-08-2003, 06:19 PM

BWAAA ha ha!

Killer. My dirty-minded golfing buddies are going to love that one.

zaiaz · 05-09-2003, 05:52 AM

Uh...was she swinging a wood or an iron club?

blkdmnd · 05-09-2003, 12:57 PM

FORE!!!

txgirl · 05-20-2003, 10:50 AM

good one!

TerresqueÜ · 05-20-2003, 12:04 PM

*Sputters* HAhahaha!! GOod joke, never saw it comin'!

DisFunctional · 05-20-2003, 01:35 PM

ROFL I love golf

Bobdoler · 05-20-2003, 01:38 PM

im guessing the wife is blonde?

zf0enix · 05-20-2003, 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by YELLOW450
haha, lucky guy

No kidding! She golfs and gives oral.

Funny joke, too!

GoldenOuroboros · 05-20-2003, 04:05 PM

oh no.. *shakes his head slightly*

small one · 05-21-2003, 12:54 AM

One of the better golf jokes

riptide4070 · 05-21-2003, 07:24 AM

heard it befo

Brewmaniac · 05-21-2003, 11:19 AM

Great joke! Thanks

dragon2fire · 09-02-2003, 09:42 AM

lol great punch line

Shpoop · 09-02-2003, 12:12 PM

yes, quality joke... the whole time i was wondering how they were gonna make it flying out of her hand into some sort of insult, but i was way off!

Goomba · 09-02-2003, 04:05 PM

Wow.. that was really funny! haha

Asshole Lover · 09-02-2003, 04:38 PM

hahahaha

thank you man!!!!

MadMax · 09-03-2003, 01:27 AM

lol - that is great

just made made up for a shitty day - thanks!

Keg-o-Grog · 09-03-2003, 02:36 AM

weeeee

Tarn · 09-05-2003, 07:06 AM

ROFL !!!

Happyland · 09-05-2003, 09:57 AM

Stare At The Sun · 09-05-2003, 01:22 PM

aww jeez, thats good stuff

conversequietus · 09-05-2003, 05:05 PM

Excellent. Very funny.

loganmule · 09-05-2003, 07:37 PM

very good, but hard to believe for real, because blow jobs get few and far between after marriage

bravo49 · 09-06-2003, 01:22 AM

Good, very funny

shred_head · 09-07-2003, 09:32 AM

That was good. Gotta be good for the husband though.

baboora · 09-07-2003, 11:08 AM

hehe...naughty

irieemon · 09-07-2003, 06:44 PM

nice one - love the punchline

05-07-2003, 11:35 AM	#1 (permalink)
asdf1001 itty bitty titty committee chairman	Golf Lessons A husband and a wife want to take golf lessons from a pro at a local golf club. The man and woman meet the pro and head to the driving range. The man goes up first. He swings and hits the ball 100 yards. The golf pro says, ''Not bad.'' Golf pro: ''Now hold your club as firmly as you hold your wife's breast.'' The man follows instructions and hits the ball 300 yards. The golf pro says, ''Excellent!'' Now the woman takes her turn. She hits the ball 30 yards. Golf pro: ''Not bad, but try holding the club like you hold your husband's dick.'' She swings and the ball goes 10 yards. Golf pro: ''Not bad, now try taking the club out of your mouth.'' __________________ Goodbye!

05-08-2003, 02:00 PM	#3 (permalink)
zaiaz Psycho Location: State of confusion...wait that's medication.	Damnit thats funnny...yes thats 3 n's. __________________ Self destruction - "Its my Nature", said the Scorpion...

05-08-2003, 02:02 PM	#4 (permalink)
SysteMatiC Insane Location: unfortunately not ireland	i gotta take up golf __________________ I have more respect for a man who says what he means, even if he is wrong, then one who acts like an angel, but is nothing but a devil.

05-09-2003, 05:52 AM	#6 (permalink)
zaiaz Psycho Location: State of confusion...wait that's medication.	Uh...was she swinging a wood or an iron club? __________________ Self destruction - "Its my Nature", said the Scorpion...

05-09-2003, 12:57 PM	#7 (permalink)
blkdmnd Addict	FORE!!! __________________ I blow my nose at you. Now go away before I taunt you a second time.

05-07-2003, 12:16 PM	#2 (permalink)
YELLOW450 Tilted	haha, lucky guy

05-08-2003, 06:19 PM	#5 (permalink)
ratbastid Darth Papa Location: Yonder	BWAAA ha ha! Killer. My dirty-minded golfing buddies are going to love that one.

05-20-2003, 10:50 AM	#8 (permalink)
txgirl so many men...so little time. Location: Bellingham	good one!

05-20-2003, 12:04 PM	#9 (permalink)
TerresqueÜ Hiding Out	Sputters HAhahaha!! GOod joke, never saw it comin'! __________________ Say yes to the 'Tilted Roleplaying' Forum http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1932&highlight=petition

05-20-2003, 01:35 PM	#10 (permalink)
DisFunctional Tilted	ROFL I love golf

05-20-2003, 01:38 PM	#11 (permalink)
Bobdoler Crazy	im guessing the wife is blonde? __________________ woot

05-20-2003, 04:05 PM	#13 (permalink)
GoldenOuroboros The Cheshire Grin... Location: An Aussie Outback	oh no.. shakes his head slightly __________________ Can you see me grin grin grrriiiiinnnning?!

05-21-2003, 12:54 AM	#14 (permalink)
small one Banned Location: York	One of the better golf jokes

05-21-2003, 07:24 AM	#15 (permalink)
riptide4070 Addict Location: Boone, NC	heard it befo __________________ "the greatest trick the devil ever pulled, was making the world believe he didn't exist" -Kevin Spacey 'The Usual Suspects'

05-21-2003, 11:19 AM	#16 (permalink)
Brewmaniac Searching for the perfect brew!	Great joke! Thanks __________________ "That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"

09-02-2003, 09:42 AM	#17 (permalink)
dragon2fire Junkie	lol great punch line

09-02-2003, 04:38 PM	#20 (permalink)
Asshole Lover Crazy	hahahaha thank you man!!!! __________________ smells like ass, tastes like _______.

09-03-2003, 02:36 AM	#22 (permalink)
Keg-o-Grog Insane Location: Foregin student in Texas atm.	weeeee __________________ I stand alone without beliefs, the only truth i know is you.

09-05-2003, 07:06 AM	#23 (permalink)
Tarn Crazy	ROFL !!!

09-02-2003, 12:12 PM	#18 (permalink)
Shpoop Curious Location: NJ (but just for college)	yes, quality joke... the whole time i was wondering how they were gonna make it flying out of her hand into some sort of insult, but i was way off!

09-02-2003, 04:05 PM	#19 (permalink)
Goomba Tilted	Wow.. that was really funny! haha

09-03-2003, 01:27 AM	#21 (permalink)
MadMax Upright Location: Sydney, Australia	lol - that is great just made made up for a shitty day - thanks!

09-05-2003, 09:57 AM	#24 (permalink)
Happyland Insane Location: where happiness lives	pfft __________________ someone else here must like Walton & Johnson too

09-05-2003, 01:22 PM	#25 (permalink)
Stare At The Sun Eh? Location: Somewhere over the rainbow	aww jeez, thats good stuff

09-05-2003, 05:05 PM	#26 (permalink)
conversequietus Insane	Excellent. Very funny.

09-05-2003, 07:37 PM	#27 (permalink)
loganmule Junkie Location: midwest	very good, but hard to believe for real, because blow jobs get few and far between after marriage

09-06-2003, 01:22 AM	#28 (permalink)
bravo49 Junkie Location: chocolate city	Good, very funny

09-07-2003, 09:32 AM	#29 (permalink)
shred_head Psycho Location: Atlanta, GA	That was good. Gotta be good for the husband though. __________________ "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds" -- Albert Einstein "A clear indication of women's superiority over man is their refusal to play air guitar." --Frank Zappa

09-07-2003, 11:08 AM	#30 (permalink)
baboora Tilted	hehe...naughty

09-07-2003, 06:44 PM	#31 (permalink)
irieemon Crazy Location: Right where I want to be.	nice one - love the punchline