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Old 04-19-2003, 12:37 PM   #1 (permalink)
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10 Reasons Why Computers Are Better Than Girlfriends

More humor from my email box.....


10 Reasons Why Computers Are Better Than Girlfriends

1. You wouldn't bother to play Strip Poker all night with a girlfriend.
2. No girlfriend can hold your undivided attention for 30 hours in a stretch.
3. Your computer never wants to be taken out for dinner.
4. Your computer doesn't mind if you are unshaved, haven't showered this week or are sitting by it in your underwear.
5. If a computer gets a virus, it can be cleaned away.
6. No matter how ugly your computer is, you can show it to your friends.
7. With a computer, you can press the buttons without it getting sore.
8. A computer doesn't mind you using other computers as well.
9. You will never find your computer in bed with your best friend.
10. Computers never, EVER gets a period.
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Old 04-19-2003, 12:57 PM   #2 (permalink)
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10. Computers never, EVER gets a period.

Gahahahahaa
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Old 04-19-2003, 01:21 PM   #3 (permalink)
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LMAO

10. is the only reason i need
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Old 04-19-2003, 09:25 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
MexicanOnABike's Avatar
 
Location: up north
hehehe...

upgrading your computer doesnt cost as much as upgrading a girlfriend...

if your computer gets old, u can get a new one!...
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Old 04-19-2003, 11:47 PM   #5 (permalink)
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amen!

at LAN parties, you can pass them around and not feel guilty about it.
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Old 04-20-2003, 09:51 PM   #6 (permalink)
Junkie
 
loganmule's Avatar
 
Location: midwest
we could probably think of lots of others, but this is a good start
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Old 04-21-2003, 08:04 AM   #7 (permalink)
Psycho
 
You can have two computers at once,
and whenever you want them to, they'll
play with each other.

If your computer isn't pleasing you, you
can give it a good whack.

You can order a computer with as many
female connectors as you want (in multiple
shapes and sizes).

Turning on a computer just takes one finger
and a few seconds. In fact, you can leave it
turned on 24/7 and it will always be hot and
ready to use.

But the BEST reason a computer is better
than a girlfriend:

No voice.
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Old 04-21-2003, 09:22 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Location: stalag 13
good reasons!
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Old 04-21-2003, 09:59 AM   #9 (permalink)
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OMG... *LOL* I'm trying to decide if I should show these to my wife or not.... any thoughts?
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Old 04-21-2003, 12:08 PM   #10 (permalink)
Psycho
 
forgotten_dream's Avatar
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Willowsr
OMG... *LOL* I'm trying to decide if I should show these to my wife or not.... any thoughts?
*LOL* I dunno willowsr, that sounds like asking for trouble.
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Old 04-21-2003, 12:09 PM   #11 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Willowsr
OMG... *LOL* I'm trying to decide if I should show these to my wife or not.... any thoughts?
You'd better not -- because there's a similar
list of why computers are better than men.

For example: computers can stay up for
days at a time.
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Old 04-21-2003, 02:23 PM   #12 (permalink)
Psycho
 
forgotten_dream's Avatar
 
Quote:
Originally posted by TwoToTango
You'd better not -- because there's a similar
list of why computers are better than men.

For example: computers can stay up for
days at a time.
Hey, I resent that! I can (and do) stay up for several days at a time.
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Old 04-21-2003, 05:03 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Location: British Columbia
I like them. Good post
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Old 04-21-2003, 05:50 PM   #14 (permalink)
Addict
 
11. all it takes to turn a computer on is the puch of a button
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Old 04-21-2003, 08:29 PM   #15 (permalink)
Psycho
 
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Location: ask your mom
computers bring pr0n. girlfriends don't.
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aaarrrrrgggghhhh!!!!
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Old 04-21-2003, 08:40 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Location: Australia
im still not sure i like the idea of sticking my wang into the disk drive or something
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Old 04-21-2003, 09:01 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by pazza
im still not sure i like the idea of sticking my wang into the disk drive or something
http://www.fu-fme.com/
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Old 04-21-2003, 11:12 PM   #18 (permalink)
Dumb all over...a little ugly on the side
 
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Location: In the room where the giant fire puffer works, and the torture never stops.
"10. Computers never, EVER gets a period."

one word: BSOD
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I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...
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Old 04-22-2003, 04:16 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Nice
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Old 04-22-2003, 04:18 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Location: Arizona
Awesome reasons. I wish I could think of a couple but work has got me tied up.
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Old 04-22-2003, 04:35 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Location: Pennsylvania
whats up

nice post, I like the last one for sure


laaaataaaaaa
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Old 04-22-2003, 04:44 AM   #22 (permalink)
Insane
 
man, that's too funny...Gotta love no periods!
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Old 04-22-2003, 05:17 AM   #23 (permalink)
Psycho
 
zaiaz's Avatar
 
Location: State of confusion...wait that's medication.
I love my computers...had a wife once...left me because of my computers.
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Old 04-22-2003, 05:46 AM   #24 (permalink)
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LOL...Good stuff.
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Old 04-22-2003, 05:47 AM   #25 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: The True North Strong and Free!
grin, funny stuff, thanks
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Old 04-22-2003, 07:27 AM   #26 (permalink)
Upright
 
ah me, techie humor
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Old 04-22-2003, 07:37 AM   #27 (permalink)
Darth Papa
 
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Location: Yonder
Try reformatting your girlfriend! Or reinstalling her! See how far <i>that</i> gets you!
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Old 04-22-2003, 08:56 AM   #28 (permalink)
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Location: Belgium
like it :-)
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Old 04-22-2003, 09:01 AM   #29 (permalink)
Poo-tee-weet?
 
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Location: The Woodlands, TX
goodstuff...
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Old 04-22-2003, 11:38 AM   #30 (permalink)
Psycho
 
good one
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Old 04-22-2003, 12:00 PM   #31 (permalink)
Crazy
 
awesome
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Old 04-22-2003, 12:42 PM   #32 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Pullman, WA
LoL... funny stuff... I would still rather have a girlfriend over a computer any day... But these jokes a pretty good.
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Old 04-22-2003, 03:48 PM   #33 (permalink)
Psycho
 
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Location: St. Louis
ya computers dont get u farther then your right (or left) hand
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Old 04-22-2003, 04:37 PM   #34 (permalink)
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Location: Vincennes, IN
Quote:
Originally posted by XHydralisk
http://www.fu-fme.com/
Thats hilarious!! And yet incredibly freaky...
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Old 09-22-2003, 07:21 AM   #35 (permalink)
Psycho
 
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Location: Michigan
Oh, Nice list....:-)
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Old 09-22-2003, 12:08 PM   #36 (permalink)
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Location: Oreegawn
that's so sad...but so funny
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If you could really get to know someone and know that they weren't lying to you, then you would know the world was real. Because you could agree on things, you could compare notes. That must be why people get married or make Art. So they'll be able to really know something and not go insane.
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Old 09-22-2003, 09:26 PM   #37 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: Yakima, WA
Bwahaha! Very funny stuff.

Quote:
Originally posted by XHydralisk
http://www.fu-fme.com/
Man, that's very... unique. I love the 3D pictures they have. I'd be curious to see this in action, really... Seeing a guy fuck his computer just seems to funny.
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Old 09-22-2003, 10:49 PM   #38 (permalink)
2+2=5? Not again!
 
MichaelFarker's Avatar
 
Location: Dallas, Texas
Thanks for the chuckles.

I'd like to contribute, so I made some up.
1.) Your computer will ride in your lap on an airplane.
2.) Your computer is always ready to play a new game.
3.) If you watch tv while you play with your computer, it won't complain that you're "distracted".
4.) You should be proud of upgrading to a newer one every year.
5.) A hot computer is always ready to show off for your friends.
6.) You can yell at your computer and get sympathy from other people.
7.) Your computer can blow itself - all day long.
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Old 09-23-2003, 01:17 AM   #39 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: chocolate city
Computers are easier to boot
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Old 09-23-2003, 03:40 PM   #40 (permalink)
Crazy
 
One of my favorites.
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