asdf1001

Things Mama Told Me...

Not to cuss.

Not to cohabitate.

Not to use that language.

Not to go in the first place.

Not to invest in Telecom stocks.

Not to date sluts.

Not to eat with my hands.

Not to drink from the filthy bucket.

Not to train octopi.

Not to beat myself with slotted spoons.

Not to mix plaids and stripes.

Not to wiggle.

Not to beat eggs for an omelet during Uncle Freddie's funeral.

Not to save and collect my empty enemas.

Not to smell my feet.

Not to banish Captain Snuggles to the washing machine.

Not to lick the poison mushrooms.

Not to unlock the closet.

Not to wear her bras.

Not to “tickle the gator”.

Not to play with the children under the stairs.

Not to juggle the plutonium.

Not to smoke her cigars.

Not to seethe.

Not to let the dogs out, because she’ll know who did it.

Not to cry like a big, fat, hairy little girl.

Not to dance dirty.

Not to fiddle with my colostomy bag.

Not to get jiggy with it, or anything for that matter.

Not to tap on my brother’s iron lung.

Not to take candy from strangers.

Not to let Dad out of the closet.

__________________
Goodbye!

TerresqueÜ

HAHAHAH That was a great list! Keep up the good worK!

__________________
Say yes to the 'Tilted Roleplaying' Forum

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1932&highlight=petition

unoaman

Great list!
The question is, did dad want to come out of the closet?

pirate-man

umm.........

__________________
Arrrrrrrgggggggghhh!!!

Kazic

That was hilarious. I was laughing so hard I was crying.

__________________
"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man
affected us as kids,we'd all be running around in
darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening
to repetitive electronic music."
-Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989

small one

I can relate to them

The5thCandidate

It's funny, because in high school my friends and I were known as the Under the Stairs kids.

__________________
Muthtard?! Don't let'th be thilly. Lemon, now that'th different...

taengland

damn.....takes all the fun out of life......lol

__________________
If you're having a bad day, find someone worse off than you and laugh at them....