HLP

Found this on CollegeHumor.com

Wal-Mart Doctor
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, " My elbow hurts like heck. I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later,the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks."

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.

Jack hurries back to Walmart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better

Thank you for shopping at Walmart.

sillygirl

Mwahahahahahahaaa

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Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken
....absence makes me miss him more...

Date the Banana

saw this years ago about a guy asked to provide a urine sample for his draft lottery. good then, good now

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all work and no play make Date something something

deportes

very funny

absorbentishe

That's a good one.

Charlatan

Hmmm how did he get the urine from his wife and daughter?

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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Gortexfogg

Good one!!

crackpot

Heh heh, nice! Thanks for the post.

fizzledorf

that's pretty funny!

Homey_V

LOL

Great joke

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You did what with a duck?

Slayer

LOL good one

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"the key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering"

CamaroRS1967

Very nice.

End User

Haha, good question. Never thought of that.

__________________
People who have no faults are terrible!

matteo101

hahaha, nice joke. and yeah how would did he get that urine. ?

sadistikdreams

Fuckin HI-LARIOUS!

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"Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone.
The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials."
-Lin Yutang

hearts, by d.a.

nash

I tried it at Walmart the other day and it really works!

flagpole

heh, funny joke

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Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.

Catherine Zandonella

pta200

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

VitaminChemE

hehehe

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Light a man a fire and he's warm for the night; light a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life

hawkeye

that was a great one, thanks

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You're just a giant ball
of love, covered in anger.

RaDiAn

Great joke.........I hate Wal-Mart.......