Jackebear

This is not mine but it is toooo good not to share it with you.

Hot Sister

True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.

"The moral of this story is:"

"Always keep your condoms in your car."

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Life's jounney is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn-out shouting, "Holy sh*t! What a ride!" - unknown

Nancy

haha thanks for reminding me - I had forgotten all about this joke!

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I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy.
I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

sillygirl

oh my god. I'd never heard this. *shakes head* oh my god.

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Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken
....absence makes me miss him more...

Jackebear

Your welcome...I laugh everytime I read it. I saw it on a joke site when I was looking for material. I was an M.C. at my brother's wedding and I needed some laughs.

This one was the top rated one on the site.

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Life's jounney is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn-out shouting, "Holy sh*t! What a ride!" - unknown

aphex140

Fantastic

LOL. I will be sharing that one good post
5*'s

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Computers allow us to make more mistakes at a faster rate than any other man-made thing, with the exception of handguns and tequila.

[/QUOTE=BAMF]Do they role a die, with a 1/3 chance of being flacid?[/QUOTE]

Iliftrocks

I never heard that one before, funny stuff

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bill hicks - "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out."

absorbentishe

Haven't heard that before, that's a classic!

Ilow

I thought the moral was don't get married.

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"Religion is the one area of our discourse in which it is considered noble to pretend to be certain about things no human being could possibly be certain about"
--Sam Harris

losthellhound

LOL I love it

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"Life is possible only with illusions. And so, the question for the science of mental health must become an absolutely new and revolutionary one, yet one that reflects the essence of the human condition: On what level of illusion does one live?"
-- Ernest Becker, The Denial of Death

diddagirl

LOL. Very nice

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"Is it so small a thing to have enjoyed the sun, to have lived long in the spring, to have loved, to have thought, to have done."
-Matthew Arnold

jfelco

i threw a couple in my glove compartment...

acostello

The other variation I heard had mother-in-law instead of sister-in-law

Bleed Me Dry

That was great.

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Bite Me...

But Only If Invited

kwoodmex

good stuff!

twilightfoix

*note to self, remember that joke, very funny.

bacon_masta

wow. good thing i keep my condoms in my car

johnsmith

That's great, I figured it was a test, but I didn't see the twist coming.

RaDiAn

That is great...I will have to share this for sure!! Thanks for posting!!

belicious

Killed me, THANKS.

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Hey, now! You're an Allstar!

sapphire

LOL that's great