things you learn from the movies

[Karby]

i don't know if this has been posted here already, but i tried every possible search word i could think of and didn't find anything.

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During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once

When they are alone all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other

If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patricks Day parade -- at any time of the year

All beds have a special L-shaped cover sheet that reach up to the armpit level on a woman, but only to the waist level on a man lying beside her

The chief of police will almost always suspend his star detective-- or give him 48 hours to complete the job

All grocery bags contain at least one French bread

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place-- no one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected

Police departments give ther officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned to partner who is their polar opposite

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they are going to go off

You are very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language-- simply having a German accent will do

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds

Kitchen don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing clothing

Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames

Mediaeval peasants had perfect teeth

Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant

Even when driving down a perfectly strait road, it is necessary to turn the wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments

It is always possible to park directly in front of the building you are visiting

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended of his duty

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts-- your enemies will patiently attack you one on one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors

No one ever involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock

Any lock van be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds-- unless its a door to a burning building with children trapped inside

Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment that it is aired

[slimshaydee]

lmao, it's all so true

[KellyC]

OH yeah. Very nice

[mastboyx]

hahahaha yeah its true!! it must be!

[BoomTruck]

You forgot that a bulletproof vest on a good guy will stop a .300 Winchester Magnum, but a 9mm will hit a bad guy with the force of an anti-tank round.

[sinjien]

That list was awesome. I cant even count how many movies popped into my mind just now. And 'BoomTruck's addition was pretty damn funny too.

[loganmule]

pretty accurate and comprehensive list...a reminder to check any sense of reality at the door before going in to the movie, but as long as it entertains, what the hell

[fizzledorf]

those are great! movies are so educational...

[Bill O'Rights]

A six shot revolver is capable of firing up to 38 shots, without reloading, before the hero comes face to face with the bad guy. Then, and only then, will the hammer fall on a spent round, making that "click" sound.

[fatboss]

Everyone else can fire up to 3,000 rounds, but the only shots that actually do any damage or wound anyone are always fired by the leading actors.

Unless they're in the A-Team that is !!!!!!!!!

[losthellhound]

- all bad guys smoke
- the leitenant is always crooked, and the captain is not, but the mayor is always breathing down his neck
- terrorists always have siblings that are trained for revenge
- strippers have hearts of gold, and cute kids
- the autistic kid / old bum / crazy cat lady, saw the crime

[shakran]

- Firearms have magic clips full of unlimited ammunition.

- Those magic clips have a Convience Monitor, which disables the ammunition replinishment at the most inconvenient time.

- Explosions will not hurt you as long as you leap forward at the precise moment the explosion takes place.

- All good guys have ExplosiTimer implants which enable them to know the exact moment to jump away from the explosion.

- The internet is always at least 20 years more advanced in any given movie than in real life.

- Tapping 7 keys on a computer keyboard results in the input of 5 lines of text.

[Lunchbox7]

A girl running away from a guy in a mask will pick up a big stick and hit him but when the bad guy goes down she will drop the stick and continue running histerically.

The main bad guy in a martial arts movie is invincible until the hero makes his comeback from near death. At that stage even the most pussy hit will do devastating damage.

The main bad guy in a martial arts movie will have perfect technique under the most stressfull time but after the hero makes his post comeback arse whipping he abbandons everything for a screaming running charge.

The female love interest has to be useless but may either be the damsel in distress or a stroppy femanist.

The hero can be getting his arse kicked by 5 guys but still able to stop the 1 guy chasing after the love interest.

During a dance everyone miraculously knows the same moves though it is a spontaneous dance.

Any car that is being overtaken by a cyclist can still make screechy noises during a chase.

[small one]

All perfectly true

[shakran]

oh! forgot one. Movie tires will squeal on dirt and gravel.

[aarchaon]

These are all so true.