The Beverly Hill-Bobbits - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

~springrain · 01-07-2004, 06:18 AM

You need to sing this to the tune of Beverly HiIllbillies…

The Beverly Hill-Bobbits

Come listen to a story 'bout a man named John,
A poor ex-marine with his little wanker gone.
It seems one night after gettin' with the wife,
She lopped off his dong with the swipe of a knife.

Penis, that is.

Clean cut.

Missed his nuts.

Well, the next thing you know there's a Ginsu by his side,
And Lorena's in the car takin' Willie for a ride.
She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend,
Tossed him out the window as she went around a bend.

Curve, that is.

Tossed the nub.

In the shrub.

She went to the cops and confessed to the attack,
They called out the hounds just to get his weenie back.
They sniffed and they barked and they pointed "over there"
To John Wayne's henry that was waving in the air.

Found, that is.

By a fence.

Evidence.

Now peter and John couldn't stay apart for long,
So a dick doc said, "Hey, I can fix that dong!"
"A needle and a thread is all we're gonna need"
And the whole world waited till they heard that Johnny pee'd.

Whizzed, that is.

Straight stream.

Even seam.

Well he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court,
With a half-assed lawyer cause his assets came upshort.
They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape
And his pecker was the only thing they didn't show on tape.

Video, that is.

Unexposed.

Case Closed.

Ya'll sleep on your stomachs now , ya hear?????

Peetster · 01-07-2004, 06:23 AM

/crosses legs involuntarily

It's funny, but I defy any guy to read the entire thing without reacting. ;-)

~springrain · 01-07-2004, 06:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Peetster
/crosses legs involuntarily
It's funny, but I defy any guy to read the entire thing without reacting. ;-)

Sorry Peetster... i feel for you... but i couldn't help but laugh... actually almost peed my pants while reading/singing...

ratbastid · 01-07-2004, 03:50 PM

What's REALLY funny is the porn career that John Wayne Bobbitt started, long about his 14th minute of fame.

The man actually starred in a porn feature called, I kid you not, Frankenpenis.

Yalaynia · 01-08-2004, 07:21 PM

I loved that. I actually had an MP3 of it somewhere. Wish I could find it.
Good one.

bravo49 · 01-09-2004, 01:22 AM

Hard to read without singing it to the tune

MexicanOnABike · 01-10-2004, 07:50 PM

i dont know that tune... crappy

small one · 01-11-2004, 10:44 AM

Never watch the show again without crying

01-07-2004, 06:18 AM	#1 (permalink)
~springrain Banned Location: central USA	The Beverly Hill-Bobbits You need to sing this to the tune of Beverly HiIllbillies… The Beverly Hill-Bobbits Come listen to a story 'bout a man named John, A poor ex-marine with his little wanker gone. It seems one night after gettin' with the wife, She lopped off his dong with the swipe of a knife. Penis, that is. Clean cut. Missed his nuts. Well, the next thing you know there's a Ginsu by his side, And Lorena's in the car takin' Willie for a ride. She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend, Tossed him out the window as she went around a bend. Curve, that is. Tossed the nub. In the shrub. She went to the cops and confessed to the attack, They called out the hounds just to get his weenie back. They sniffed and they barked and they pointed "over there" To John Wayne's henry that was waving in the air. Found, that is. By a fence. Evidence. Now peter and John couldn't stay apart for long, So a dick doc said, "Hey, I can fix that dong!" "A needle and a thread is all we're gonna need" And the whole world waited till they heard that Johnny pee'd. Whizzed, that is. Straight stream. Even seam. Well he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court, With a half-assed lawyer cause his assets came upshort. They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape And his pecker was the only thing they didn't show on tape. Video, that is. Unexposed. Case Closed. Ya'll sleep on your stomachs now , ya hear?????

01-08-2004, 07:21 PM	#5 (permalink)
Yalaynia Insane Location: here but I wish I lived there	I loved that. I actually had an MP3 of it somewhere. Wish I could find it. Good one. __________________ I couldnt think of anything to put here , but I guess anything would do

01-10-2004, 07:50 PM	#7 (permalink)
MexicanOnABike Location: up north	i dont know that tune... crappy __________________ - Movie Reviews - Ratings-

01-07-2004, 06:23 AM	#2 (permalink)
Peetster Right Now Location: Home	/crosses legs involuntarily It's funny, but I defy any guy to read the entire thing without reacting. ;-)

01-07-2004, 03:50 PM	#4 (permalink)
ratbastid Darth Papa Location: Yonder	What's REALLY funny is the porn career that John Wayne Bobbitt started, long about his 14th minute of fame. The man actually starred in a porn feature called, I kid you not, Frankenpenis.

01-09-2004, 01:22 AM	#6 (permalink)
bravo49 Junkie Location: chocolate city	Hard to read without singing it to the tune

01-11-2004, 10:44 AM	#8 (permalink)
small one Banned Location: York	Never watch the show again without crying