cchris

Don't search for a gas leak with a lit match.

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.

Don't squat with spurs on.

Don't spit into the wind.

Never eat anything bigger than your head.

Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative in the same night.

Never test depth of water with both feet.

When riding a bike down a hill, turn your head before you spit.

If the grass is always greener on the other side, hire a gardener.

Man who laugh last not get joke.

If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.

Funny noise not funny unless laughed at.

He who hesitates, masturbates.

Never pass up a free lunch or the chance to use the men's room.

Good Comfy Shoes. The key to life.

Never hold a cat and a dustbuster at the same time.

Wax on. Wax off.

If you try, try, and try again then just give up.

Don't hide in spider holes.

Life is crap, then you die... screw it all, lets get high.

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There's a fine line between participation and mockery

kifferfong

"Never pass up a free lunch or the chance to use the men's room."

I agree!!