thingstodo

PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about
> > splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to
> > visit
> > Gepetto to see if he could help.
> > Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and
> > Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.
> > A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through
> > town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"
> > Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
> > _____________________________________________
> >
> > LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through the woods when suddenly the
> > Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her
> > throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"
> > To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket
> > and pulled out a .44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No, you're
> > not.
> > You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book."
> > ____________________________________________
> >
> > MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the judge said
> > to Mickey,
> > "You say here that your wife is crazy."
> > Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's f**king
> > Goofy."

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If you're wringing your hands you can't roll up your shirt sleeves.

Stangers have the best candy.

thingstodo

Sorry I neglected to clean out the trash in this and the last thread. I'll do better next time. Also, I found these to be pretty funny so let me know if you DON'T and I'll be more selective. I don't recall seeing these all over the place, hopefully....

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If you're wringing your hands you can't roll up your shirt sleeves.

Stangers have the best candy.

Sho Nuff

Good for a laugh. Especially the Mickey and Minnie one.

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I know Nietzsche doesnt rhyme with peachy, but you sound like a pretentious prick when you correct me.

DEI37

These are good. Had heard two of 'em before, but that doesn't make them less funny!

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Generally speaking, if you were to get what you really deserve, you might be unpleasantly surprised.

Nation

I love the Mickey one. That's classic.

thephuse

haha like the mickey one

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b000yahed up your w000pah!!

Joygasm~!!

bravo49

The mickie one I'd heard b4, but the other two perfect

orphen

the PINOCCHIO one is pretty funny

boxcarracer277

The Mickey one is my favorite too. . .very funny.

Slacks_01

took me two reads to get the riding hood one

The_Dude

good ones

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"Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." - Darrel K Royal

yankeefatboy

Red Riding Hood is a new one to me. Loved it!!!!!

hawkeye

heh. both threads were good. I think that I liked little Red's bit best tho...

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You're not fat,
You're just a giant ball
of love, covered in anger.

Strobs

If fairytales were like this when I was a kid I would never have bothered to grow up.