aphex140

All have been wondering why men die young. Its not that we are wimps,and cant succeed, its because we cant win!!!!

Why do men die first?

This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries but, now we
know

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat
race you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework...you're a pansy.
If you work toohard...there's never any time for her.
If you don't work enough...you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay...this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with lowpay.....you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her.....that is favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you......it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks......it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet..........it's male indifference.
If you cry............you're a wimp.
If you don't........you're an insensitive bastard.
If you make a decision without consulting her.........you're a
chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you......she's a liberated
woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy....... that's
domination.
If SHE asks you.........it's a favor.
If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear......you're a
pervert
If you don't..............you're gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape..............you're sexist.
If you don't.................you're unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape................you're vain.
If you don't................you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers.............you're after something.
If you don't....................you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements........you're full of yourself.
If you aren't....................you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache............she's tired.
If you have a headache.............you don't love her anymore.
If you want it too often.........you're oversexed.
If you don't................there must be someone else. ...

Men die first because they want to.

krwlz

Gotta love double standards. Good one aphex

sillygirl

Lol..... shitty...... and yet... AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Although, not ALWAYS true, I'm sure!

__________________

Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken
....absence makes me miss him more...

Speed_Gibson

funny but I wouldn't call it sexist.

__________________
Started talking to yourself I see.
Yes, it's the only way I can be certain of an intelligent conversation.

Black Adder

SSJwrestler

definitely not sexist. as much as we dont want to admit it there are double standards within our soceity.

CSflim

I think this is a repost, but regardless, it's true, every last word of it, painfully so!

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itchy93

That would be funny if it wasn't so damned true...

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That's just my opinion; I could be wrong.

Silverbrain

The double edge sword of the female, damned if you do and damned if you dont.

__________________
Over Thinking, Over Analyzing
Seperates the Body from the Mind - MJK

ritzboi

Gotcha girls.

gloveshot3

double-standard--double-talk==two-sets-of-lips...hmmm

soccerchamp76

Hilarious list. Can't live with them, can't have heterosexual sex without them.

__________________
Brian Griffin: Ah, if my memory serves me, this is the physics department.
Chris Griffin: That would explain all the gravity.

Tiger69z

Yea, friggen' double standards..

on top of that you get like articles titled: "are females stronger than males?" or some stupid shiz >

CaptainSpeedy

"Never a truer word said in jest" etc etc

Esoteric

Double standards indeed. Funny list.

__________________
From a head full of pressure rests the senses that I clutch
Made a date with Divinity, but she wouldn't let me fuck
I got touched by a hazy shaded, God help me change
Caught a rush on the floor from the life in my veins

hahaha

lol. Best part

__________________
"find what's good and make it last"
-Bouncing Souls